Gross to parents who encourage or facilitate any kind of dating at any age below 16. Stop.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so bizarre and gross to me. Why are you encouraging your child to do this?

I’m not OP, but in my case I’m not encouraging it, but I’m also not forbidding it. My parents forbade dating, and my response was to date and lie to them about it. My daughter, on the other hand, talks to me about boys and dating and feels comfortable asking me for advice. She’s never alone with the kid and the big excitement last week was that she hugged him.

When I was 13 (way back in the late 80s) kids in my grade were “dating.” It’s not a new thing.

Yeah, but when you were 13 “dating” probably consisted of see each other at school, maybe extracurriculars, and phone calls. I guarantee no 90s mom was going out her way to get her 13 yr old together with her boyfriend that lives 30 min away. I would not encourage this at all. Let her call him her boyfriend and text and whatever, but I wouldn’t coordinate anything outside of that. She is 13!

Same thing they do with friends. Bubble tea, movie, mall, roller skating, arcade…idk. I’d be somewhat worried about a 13 yo who is dating but doesn’t hang out with friends.

Anonymous wrote:According to my middle schooler there are some "couples" in their grade. Seems to mainly consist of texting and talking at school. I did hear that one "couple" had a date that involved going to the local Starbucks after school and hanging at the nearby park. Overall seems very harmless and age appropriate. I asked if anyone was kissing and got an "eww no" response from my kid. I don't think there's anything wrong with OP's question.

I'm a teacher (not public school, before someone chimes in that this must be the case). There most certainly IS kissing and more among middle schoolers who date. Your child is lying to you if she says otherwise. Another big issue is the kinds of photos that are now expected and the norm for young girls to be sending their boyfriends or "boyfriends", as well as texts and other messages that last a lot longer than young teen relationships. The kinds of online materials that young teen boys are exposed to and view regularly contributes to all of this as well. There are so many real dangers now that did not exist when we were growing up. I did not allow my own child to "date" in middle school due to what I see everyday in this age group.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most young teens aren't dating. I think 13 is too young to be dating.

OP didn’t ask you Karen

And a lot of teens are dating and it’s perfectly normal.

“Karen?” You’re dull.

And OP doesn’t have to “ask” anybody. They posted a thread and people will respond as they see fit, within DCUM’s very lenient TOS.

Anonymous wrote:OP again and this isn't a discussion on whether I let her date or not, I just need help in supporting my daughter with this. Some of these suggestions are great.

You don’t get to dictate the responses people give. If you think they’re not of use to you, just ignore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so odd.

OP's kid does not have female friends and she is encouraging her to have a dating life at age 13.
OP, you should be doing things to assist your daughter with developing friendship, not a love life.


This is one of the more bizarre posts I've read on DCUM, to be honest.

+1,000

+2,000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so bizarre and gross to me. Why are you encouraging your child to do this?

I’m not OP, but in my case I’m not encouraging it, but I’m also not forbidding it. My parents forbade dating, and my response was to date and lie to them about it. My daughter, on the other hand, talks to me about boys and dating and feels comfortable asking me for advice. She’s never alone with the kid and the big excitement last week was that she hugged him.

When I was 13 (way back in the late 80s) kids in my grade were “dating.” It’s not a new thing.

Shhhh stop making sense. The Boomers and helicopters are clutching their pearls

Anonymous wrote:Most young teens aren't dating. I think 13 is too young to be dating.

OP didn’t ask you Karen

And a lot of teens are dating and it’s perfectly normal.

I'm fifteen and have been friends with my boyfriend for about a year, and we js started dating two weeks ago, we have gone to the mall, and text a lot, but it's important to take things slow, as this is why I believe I will stay with him till marriage, because the relationship is age appropriate and monitored closely by my parents. I won't sleep with him till i'm married, and in time I may kiss/hold his hand, but waiting is important.

Anonymous wrote:OP again and this isn't a discussion on whether I let her date or not, I just need help in supporting my daughter with this. Some of these suggestions are great.

I would not support this at all.

My kid cooked ramen with his first girlfriend.
Then I heard a friend of his also cooked a meal with a girl he was interested in.
Seems to be a thing at their school - the cooking date.

^ Or do you think being seen as the mature one with a boyfriend will help her become popular among girls?

Anonymous wrote:This is so odd.

OP's kid does not have female friends and she is encouraging her to have a dating life at age 13.
OP, you should be doing things to assist your daughter with developing friendship, not a love life.


This is one of the more bizarre posts I've read on DCUM, to be honest.

Agree. OP, shouldn’t you be helping your DD socialize with friends instead of go on dates?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so odd.

OP's kid does not have female friends and she is encouraging her to have a dating life at age 13.
OP, you should be doing things to assist your daughter with developing friendship, not a love life.


This is one of the more bizarre posts I've read on DCUM, to be honest.

Well they do live in Loudoun. That might explain it.

OP and I'm honestly curious to know what the problems are with Loudoun. It's one of the better areas around here, great schools, great communities.