I hope your girlfriends are doing something fun with you today.

I’d fly to Vegas.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s probably gay

Most straight guys don’t date, much less propose to, women they aren’t attracted to. Women do that. Men don’t.

You dodged a bullet.

But it still sucks and I’m sorry

I didn’t even think about that possibility. You might be onto something.

DP. I’m guessing he was using it as an excuse for cold feet. What a jerk to put that on you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should not be out any money - if you put down any money or owe any money, make him pay for it. And keep the ring.

Sending you hugs.

As someone said on a different thread: "Oh, look, the trash took itself out!"

He's trash, pure trash.

It is not trash to exit an engagement to someone you realize you do not want to marry. But he should pay her back.

It’s not great, but he is doing her a big favor not to go through with it. If the ship can’t even navigate out of the harbor, it’s not going to make it across the ocean.

I’m married to a man who isn’t attracted to me and it’s hell. We have house/kids and I love him so I feel stuck.

I’m conventionally pretty - been told all my life by friends that they were jealous or annoyed by the attention I got through my teens and 20s. Yet the person I married never shows any lust and desire.

I had some idea before we got married but he told me it was work stress and I believed him. It’s been a harder existence than I ever could have imagined.

I’m sorry this happened to you. But know that I’m jealous of you that you don’t have to live like this and can find someone to have a real relationship with. He gave you a real gift of a happy future.

(Btw - DONT go back if he tries to say it was just cold feet. There are always excuses. )

Anonymous wrote:You should not be out any money - if you put down any money or owe any money, make him pay for it. And keep the ring.

Sending you hugs.

As someone said on a different thread: "Oh, look, the trash took itself out!"

He's trash, pure trash.

It is not trash to exit an engagement to someone you realize you do not want to marry. But he should pay her back.

Anonymous wrote:This is such a blessing in disguise. I wanted to call off my wedding and did not. The marriage was horrible. I got trapped geographically with an unplanned pregnancy and ended up staying a decade. Divorced and can’t have a real do-over. I shortchanged myself at finding a meaningful martial relationship. Mid 40s now and mine more miserable years of coparenting to go.

You can have a real love still. Better than an unfulfilling marriage and divorce later.

+ 1 this is a blessing in disguise OP

Sorry this happend to you. It truly sucks. Sending you virtual hugs. I would sue him for the deposits. Take him to small claims court and go after this stupid heartless man

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He waited until Valentine’s Day on the anniversary of your engagement to do this. I sometimes can’t fathom the utter insensitivity of people.

This.
Please just focus on this when it comes to this man. What a nightmare of a person to attempt to utterly wreck this day for you.
You are worthy of love from a guy who is way better than that.
Believe this, Op.
And next Valentine’s Day please send him a thank you note for allowing you to be the one who got away! Now your heart is free to love someone who truly loves you in return.

It hurts right now, but it is truly a gift.
I’ll be praying for you tomorrow.

Don't do this.

Anonymous wrote:He waited until Valentine’s Day on the anniversary of your engagement to do this. I sometimes can’t fathom the utter insensitivity of people.

This.
Please just focus on this when it comes to this man. What a nightmare of a person to attempt to utterly wreck this day for you.
You are worthy of love from a guy who is way better than that.
Believe this, Op.
And next Valentine’s Day please send him a thank you note for allowing you to be the one who got away! Now your heart is free to love someone who truly loves you in return.

It hurts right now, but it is truly a gift.
I’ll be praying for you tomorrow.

Anonymous wrote:The ring is not a gift. In most states, it is not hers unless they got married. It is contingent on the contract being fulfilled. She should return it.

Not on her life. It is hers to sell, and she should do it sooner than later. This was not a mutual decision to break up. He's left her hanging with $$ of lost deposits. He would not even dare try to get it back, because he's stupid enough to try, she has a bigger case against him. Lastly, even if he went to court to get it, no one would side with him. No one, and Md law is on OP's side, regardless.

Here it is for Md. OP- it's yours to sell:
"Maryland courts view engagement rings as conditional gifts, contingent on the marriage taking place. If the marriage doesn't happen, the condition isn't met, and the ring reverts to the recipient. Tradition also dictates that the recipient keeps the ring if the engagement is broken off."

Now go after him for lost deposits, OP.
Sorry that you are in pain, but really, this is best. He saved your life.

He waited until Valentine’s Day on the anniversary of your engagement to do this. I sometimes can’t fathom the utter insensitivity of people.

The ring is not a gift. In most states, it is not hers unless they got married. It is contingent on the contract being fulfilled. She should return it.

Anonymous wrote:Also- in the future, there's a chance he will realize his fantasy was just a fantasy, and try to reconcile. I'm not suggesting he def will, but on the odd chance...

NOPE. And don't hope for it. Move on.

I have no hope for a reconciliation. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive him for this.

I am so sorry, OP, and am praying for you

Also- in the future, there's a chance he will realize his fantasy was just a fantasy, and try to reconcile. I'm not suggesting he def will, but on the odd chance...

NOPE. And don't hope for it. Move on.