Anonymous
Post 02/24/2024 07:11     Subject: Telling people to MYOB
Paying for college is a significant undertaking. When people initiate these conversations with you, choose to see it as their attempt to find a common topic that allows you to commiserate together. There is an assumption on their part that you filled out the paperwork, but it is not unreasonable given the costs of higher ed these days. It’s similar to when people commiserate on the price of homes and how difficult it is to be in the housing market. People are not necessarily prying. Choose to emphasize; surely you can understand the pain of filling out paperwork.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2024 06:57     Subject: Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are very privileged to be in a position where our first child is headed off to his first choice, OOS, college next year and his 529 is more than fully funded, through college and grad school, due to a lifetime of saving on our part and contributions from both sets of grandparents.
This is wonderful, we are thrilled for him that he's going to a school he's thrilled about and that we can pay for it, etc.
Social etiquette question - I suppose due to our lifestyle choices(?) everyone assumes we have filled out the FAFSA, hate the FAFSA, can answer and commiserate about questions about loans and financial aid, etc. We've tried smiling and nodding, changing the subject - but at some point this feels like a personal financial assumption that I'm tired of dealing with. What's a good way of ending the conversation?


I’d be more concerned with trying to quickly undo your terrible decision of setting $1 million on fire (you said you have multiple kids, so presumably you’re doing this multiple times). Unless his “first choice” was Harvard, anywhere he goes will be basically no better than UMD.


Off topic and mean spirited. People do not need to live by your values.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 21:57     Subject: Telling people to MYOB

I’d be more concerned with trying to quickly undo your terrible decision of setting $1 million on fire (you said you have multiple kids, so presumably you’re doing this multiple times). Unless his “first choice” was Harvard, anywhere he goes will be basically no better than UMD.


+1 better off going instate and putting the difference in a roth.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 21:51     Subject: Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just say firmly but clearly: “I am very privileged.” And then walk away.


“The FAFSA? Isn’t that something poor people do? Does it get you free government cheese or something?”


Def this😂
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 21:34     Subject: Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Even people who are full pay fill out the FAFSA, as we did, so that our kids could take out the unsubsidized federal loans. We wanted them to have teeth in the game, which we did, and now as grads they are taking responsibility for paying back the *relatively" small amounts, so I suspect that's what people are asking. It's a great way to start an 18-year-old on fiscal responsibility, establishing credit, getting a credit card, balancing accounts, getting first apartment, etc.


What are you talking about? Only financially incapable and idiot parents fill out the FAFSA. Intelligent UMC+ parents realize the FAFSA is a major scam that dupes unsuspecting parents into divulging obscene amounts of valuable personal information that is subsequently sold to countless bottom feeder organizations and advertisers.


Ha ha ha! Haven't suffered that calamity so far, poor deluded one. If you don't want to fill out FAFSA, just say so. No need to lie about it.

Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 21:31     Subject: Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are very privileged to be in a position where our first child is headed off to his first choice, OOS, college next year and his 529 is more than fully funded, through college and grad school, due to a lifetime of saving on our part and contributions from both sets of grandparents.
This is wonderful, we are thrilled for him that he's going to a school he's thrilled about and that we can pay for it, etc.
Social etiquette question - I suppose due to our lifestyle choices(?) everyone assumes we have filled out the FAFSA, hate the FAFSA, can answer and commiserate about questions about loans and financial aid, etc. We've tried smiling and nodding, changing the subject - but at some point this feels like a personal financial assumption that I'm tired of dealing with. What's a good way of ending the conversation?


I’d be more concerned with trying to quickly undo your terrible decision of setting $1 million on fire (you said you have multiple kids, so presumably you’re doing this multiple times). Unless his “first choice” was Harvard, anywhere he goes will be basically no better than UMD.


Are you the rabid east asian poster who aggressively touts UMD at every turn and thinks ROI should be the sole determinant of all decisions? What a miserable existence.

My son declined UMD Honors because it didn't have his preferred major. He'd applied to UMD as a sort of safety. He ended up going to an institution that was better known for that major. It's not, overall, more selective than UMD, but it has a well-known specialty that he's interested in. Also the dorms and food are better, and the campus is more congenial to him.

All of that, the major and the comfort and fit, are well worth the extra money. We do not come from wealth. We made our own and are happy to spend it on certain priorities.





Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 21:22     Subject: Telling people to MYOB

We live a frugal lifestyle, OP, and most people probably believe we took out loans. I am not about to disabuse them. Only my closest friends know that we can afford any college for all our kids. Yet we still filled out the FAFSA and CSS, because some required it for merit aid.

This sounds like you're dying to tell others you planned well or something. Do whatever you want, OP, you don't need our blessing.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 20:45     Subject: Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:Just say firmly but clearly: “I am very privileged.” And then walk away.


People are so tired of that phrase. Overused with everything whether it’s relevant or not. Friends don’t mind talking about it.
Saying “We don’t qualify for financial aid” isn’t rude to say.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 16:10     Subject: Re:Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of people save for college. Just tell them you’ve been saving since they were a baby.

Unless in the circles you run in this is abnormal.


We don't qualify for aid but still have to fill out the FAFSA...Whether someone saved or not is irrelevant, and that response would be quite rude!

You think it's rude to say "we've been saving since they were a baby" ?


That’s only rude to people who didn’t think ahead like you and I did.

We did the same thing and last week my mother told me that she thought we had saved 400k for one child. It’s something in between!

But complainers are going to complain. Whiners gotta whine. And if you do anything other than nod and sympathize, prepare to be attacked or maligned.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 16:07     Subject: Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Even people who are full pay fill out the FAFSA, as we did, so that our kids could take out the unsubsidized federal loans. We wanted them to have teeth in the game, which we did, and now as grads they are taking responsibility for paying back the *relatively" small amounts, so I suspect that's what people are asking. It's a great way to start an 18-year-old on fiscal responsibility, establishing credit, getting a credit card, balancing accounts, getting first apartment, etc.


What are you talking about? Only financially incapable and idiot parents fill out the FAFSA. Intelligent UMC+ parents realize the FAFSA is a major scam that dupes unsuspecting parents into divulging obscene amounts of valuable personal information that is subsequently sold to countless bottom feeder organizations and advertisers.


I agree!! Our kid got a merit scholarship that doesn't require us to hand over a boatload of personal financial details. No FAFSA here. No loans either. They can be an authorized user on my credit card to establish credit.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 15:14     Subject: Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:Even people who are full pay fill out the FAFSA, as we did, so that our kids could take out the unsubsidized federal loans. We wanted them to have teeth in the game, which we did, and now as grads they are taking responsibility for paying back the *relatively" small amounts, so I suspect that's what people are asking. It's a great way to start an 18-year-old on fiscal responsibility, establishing credit, getting a credit card, balancing accounts, getting first apartment, etc.


Not just for the unsub loans, but some state institutions will need them on record for any type of institutional aid, including merit grants/scholarships.

So family's EFC is could be seven figures, but if the kid earned some scholarship money, a FAFSA record may still need to be on file with the school
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 15:12     Subject: Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Even people who are full pay fill out the FAFSA, as we did, so that our kids could take out the unsubsidized federal loans. We wanted them to have teeth in the game, which we did, and now as grads they are taking responsibility for paying back the *relatively" small amounts, so I suspect that's what people are asking. It's a great way to start an 18-year-old on fiscal responsibility, establishing credit, getting a credit card, balancing accounts, getting first apartment, etc.


What are you talking about? Only financially incapable and idiot parents fill out the FAFSA. Intelligent UMC+ parents realize the FAFSA is a major scam that dupes unsuspecting parents into divulging obscene amounts of valuable personal information that is subsequently sold to countless bottom feeder organizations and advertisers.


Hot take! You’re so much smarter and wealthier than everyone else!


I know, right? It’s so painful to be around other people that can’t operate on my higher plane of existence.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 09:24     Subject: Re:Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of people save for college. Just tell them you’ve been saving since they were a baby.

Unless in the circles you run in this is abnormal.


We don't qualify for aid but still have to fill out the FAFSA...Whether someone saved or not is irrelevant, and that response would be quite rude!

You think it's rude to say "we've been saving since they were a baby" ?


Absolutely. It's like saying "but you haven't and that's why you are asking this question" It also is incorrect to assume FAFSA = didn't save.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 08:41     Subject: Re:Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of people save for college. Just tell them you’ve been saving since they were a baby.

Unless in the circles you run in this is abnormal.


We don't qualify for aid but still have to fill out the FAFSA...Whether someone saved or not is irrelevant, and that response would be quite rude!

You think it's rude to say "we've been saving since they were a baby" ?
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2024 08:34     Subject: Telling people to MYOB
Anonymous wrote:We are very privileged to be in a position where our first child is headed off to his first choice, OOS, college next year and his 529 is more than fully funded, through college and grad school, due to a lifetime of saving on our part and contributions from both sets of grandparents.
This is wonderful, we are thrilled for him that he's going to a school he's thrilled about and that we can pay for it, etc.
Social etiquette question - I suppose due to our lifestyle choices(?) everyone assumes we have filled out the FAFSA, hate the FAFSA, can answer and commiserate about questions about loans and financial aid, etc. We've tried smiling and nodding, changing the subject - but at some point this feels like a personal financial assumption that I'm tired of dealing with. What's a good way of ending the conversation?


I’d be more concerned with trying to quickly undo your terrible decision of setting $1 million on fire (you said you have multiple kids, so presumably you’re doing this multiple times). Unless his “first choice” was Harvard, anywhere he goes will be basically no better than UMD.