The parents who respond here on these threads always tend toward the "never give your kid a penny or you'll spoil them" crowd, never mind that I don't know anyone like that IRL.

My DC has a certain amount of $$ deposited in his account from his fund at the beginning of the semester on top of his tuition and fees. He charges pretty much everything to a credit card linked to my account, and I transfer $$ from his checking to mine to pay it off each month. He doesn't really have a specific budget each month, but his spending on everything (incl. books, toiletries, cabs from the airport, etc) has averaged anywhere from around $300 to $750 a month. (Note -- he has a car, so he doesn't use Uber very often, and he'd definitely spend more if he did). He calls me if he's going to spend on something unusual. So far, he's been very responsible and I have no concerns.

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler spends over 1k a month. We pay since he’s a straight A student and plays three sports. My college kid actually spends less. He’s more frugal. But we pay whatever they need. My parents made me work all through college and never gave me a penny. It scarred me. I always felt like the poor kid and never had as much as my friends. I want my kids to have the ability to enjoy themselves. We are in an expensive city.

Where is all that going? That sounds insane for a HS kid. I'm assuming he's constantly eating out. To say you are in an expensive city means nothing. He can pack food or buy cheaper options.

Anonymous wrote:really struggling with what is best. DC goes to school in an expensive city, has a required meal plan (food is bad), no income (had a summer job but those funds were used up quickly), looking for a part time job now (we had reasons for not allowing a job while in school til now), gets $300 a month allowance and a has a credit card & Uber account attached to his bank account - credit card is set to automatic payments and its not working out very well since he is spending more than he has. For those who give their kids a credit card, do you set a strict limit? Is it attached to your bank account or theirs? What about Uber accounts for city kids? I need some guidance without judgement please. Thank you

Where are they going with Uber? They can use the school bus system if they live on campus. Sounds like they are spending way to much.

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler spends over 1k a month. We pay since he’s a straight A student and plays three sports. My college kid actually spends less. He’s more frugal. But we pay whatever they need. My parents made me work all through college and never gave me a penny. It scarred me. I always felt like the poor kid and never had as much as my friends. I want my kids to have the ability to enjoy themselves. We are in an expensive city.

What does your hs kid spend so much money on every month? Especially if he is so busy with multiple sports?

We pay $400/mo during school, plus gas money and sorority dues, for a suburban school. Girl has beauty and fashion “needs” like nails and cute shoes, and works a few hours a week plus all summer to supplement the allowance.

Anonymous wrote:Fake original post just to stir up judgmental comments.

Op here and it is not a fake post. I have read every single response and have found a ton of valuable information including from the more “judgmental” responses (I do think they could have been kinder but I still appreciate the feedback). Thanks to all!

We pay for our grandson's vehicle insurance. Once a month I send him a Walmart card to cover food and gas, $300. His grandfather sends him cash at the end of every month. Usually $300.

He doesn't work right now but his grades are fantastic. I think he deserves anything we can do for him. If he asks we get within reason. We want him to know he can always depend on us. We love that boy.

Everyone needs a lifeline. The old ways don't apply anymore. If you can help, help.

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler spends over 1k a month. We pay since he’s a straight A student and plays three sports. My college kid actually spends less. He’s more frugal. But we pay whatever they need. My parents made me work all through college and never gave me a penny. It scarred me. I always felt like the poor kid and never had as much as my friends. I want my kids to have the ability to enjoy themselves. We are in an expensive city.

WOW. I also grew up being given no money and that was awful, but 1k a month is insane. I don't spend nearly that much on myself as an adult!!

My high schooler spends over 1k a month. We pay since he’s a straight A student and plays three sports. My college kid actually spends less. He’s more frugal. But we pay whatever they need. My parents made me work all through college and never gave me a penny. It scarred me. I always felt like the poor kid and never had as much as my friends. I want my kids to have the ability to enjoy themselves. We are in an expensive city.

Have you had a conversation with your student? Do they know what boundaries or expectations you have for them related to spending or use of the credit card? Do they need a reminder?

Our student is naturally frugal - the agreed upon spending was CC was for books, college-related incidentals that didn't show up on his student account, uber was to/from the airport was handled on our account, and was travel-related expenses. Uber for fun was his. When it came to food costs he is on the meal plan - food beyond the meal plan is his responsibility from his summer earnings.

As the semesters have unfolded we have modified what he covers, and what can put on our joint CC. He has been good at asking for things that fall outside of what we discussed. For example he needed a jacket for the career fair - he was happy with a find at the thrive store - we were happy to provide additional funds for something better fitting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My college kid is in an expensive city and gets $0 in spending money, nor do we provide a credit card. The only thing we pay for during the year, outside of tuition/fees, is travel to/from home for breaks. DC has a debit card linked to their checking account and funds that by working full time in the summers and part time during the school year (after freshman year). That has provided more than enough spending money.

Your DC should be putting that money into a Roth

Is it really enough, or is your child suffering in silence? Asking because I was suffering in silence.

Anonymous wrote:My college kid is in an expensive city and gets $0 in spending money, nor do we provide a credit card. The only thing we pay for during the year, outside of tuition/fees, is travel to/from home for breaks. DC has a debit card linked to their checking account and funds that by working full time in the summers and part time during the school year (after freshman year). That has provided more than enough spending money.

Your DC should be putting that money into a Roth

My college kid is in an expensive city and gets $0 in spending money, nor do we provide a credit card. The only thing we pay for during the year, outside of tuition/fees, is travel to/from home for breaks. DC has a debit card linked to their checking account and funds that by working full time in the summers and part time during the school year (after freshman year). That has provided more than enough spending money.

Fake original post just to stir up judgmental comments.

Wow that's so low, our high schooler gets $55/week and when I was in college 20y years a go I got $2k/months which also included 5-700 for rent.