What if the co-workers (or clients...whoever your Dh has meetings with) ALSO have childcare or eldercare needs that THEY arranged around meeting times?

You, OP want to screw up their care needs? The entire world does not revolve around your child and it's better you figure that out now.

You know what times you and your spouse need to work, find childcare that works with that.

I had a meeting that interfered with drop off. I limped along for a year and then asked the group to move the time. I felt it was fair to ask at some point.

Anonymous wrote:My tip would be to totally drop this until baby is here and you are making your actual concrete back to work plans. Til then it’s just something to fight over with no resolution.

+1

WHO CARES when the daycare closes? Regardless of the timings, OP and her DH should seek to minimize hours in group care. DH and I did a split schedule when our kids were young, so that we only needed 25-30 hours of nanny care a week (luckily we found someone who only wanted to work that much so they could tend to their own family). We are so happy we did that, even though it meant logging in at night.

Anonymous wrote:It’s valid that DH (and OP) need to figure out that sometimes kids just aren’t convenient and have to come before work. That said, 3:30 is super early to leave on a work day, most people won’t know or care that DH arrives at 7:30, and you’ll be far better off arranging childcare to meet your needs than being difficult at work from the start.

Yeah no one believes he’s really there at 730, and even those that do assume he’s semi-napping in an empty office

A DH leaving at 3:30 pm most days will profoundly limit his career. Are you guys Feds, otherwise he will be #1 on next layoff list.

I think you should ask him to float a change to the meeting without really saying why and people might just be amenable to it. Why not just test the waters? This might be a total non issue.

I’m confused- what time is daycare pickup? You need to pick a daycare that has normal hours (open until at least 5:30pm).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of daycare closes at 3:30? In fact, I’ve picked my kids up early and many are still napping at 3:30.

Probably not a day care that is immediately outside the door of his office? The problem with pickup often isn't when work ends, it's the amount of time it takes to commute from work to day care.

This is a good point. OP, what are the daycare hours and what are commute times from each of your offices. The daycare may not be the best option if a 4:30 meeting is throwing a wrench in your plans. It may make more sense to choose a place that favors one parent’s commute so that you don’t both have to shuffle your schedules around to accommodate a late drop off or early pickup.

What daycare won’t let you pickup after 4 pm??
This is the problem. Find a normal daycare that lets you pickup at 5 or 6 pm.

Protip: select a childcare program that runs for the duration of your working hours and this should be a nonissue.

It’s valid that DH (and OP) need to figure out that sometimes kids just aren’t convenient and have to come before work. That said, 3:30 is super early to leave on a work day, most people won’t know or care that DH arrives at 7:30, and you’ll be far better off arranging childcare to meet your needs than being difficult at work from the start.

Anonymous wrote:“He feels that it is not reasonable to disrupt any work meetings for childcare.”

Good luck navigating with this guy when the child is sick. He’s going to have a steep learning curve.

Wow, it’s gonna be a long childhood with this guy.
I mean yeah, some meetings can’t be moved. But something like a regular check in with co workers? Just propose a different time.

My tip would be to totally drop this until baby is here and you are making your actual concrete back to work plans. Til then it’s just something to fight over with no resolution.

Option 3, you find someone else to do pick up that day or you pay one of the childcare workers extra to watch kid.

Anonymous wrote:What kind of daycare closes at 3:30? In fact, I’ve picked my kids up early and many are still napping at 3:30.

Probably not a day care that is immediately outside the door of his office? The problem with pickup often isn't when work ends, it's the amount of time it takes to commute from work to day care.