Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 11:11     Subject: So far I love being divorced
I am so glad most on this thread are happier.

Remember to vote blue because women being able to iniciate divorce in red states will be gone first then Nationally if you vote red. Yes this is a fact.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 11:09     Subject: So far I love being divorced
Anonymous wrote:I say get married early, have kids, divorce early!


I did just that. Divorced at 33 with two kids in elementary school. Felt free and happy.

But… remarried at 35 (wasn’t really looking, met through a hobby). Life sometimes throws us surprises.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 08:57     Subject: So far I love being divorced
Watching a few post-divorce lives play out over the years, my anecdotal sense is that there is a burst of exciting energy and then it's a return to the grind of life.

I'm not saying the divorce was a bad idea. These people had relationships that weren't exactly horrible, but they weren't good and I'm not sure how fixable they would have been with any amount of effort. The women, in particular, went through a stretch where the novelty of new guys, not having to deal with the old guys, etc. was really energizing. But, after a year or two, they mostly stopped dating and the reduced income became a drag.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 23:08     Subject: So far I love being divorced
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Me too! Congrats, don’t talk about it too much with parent friends……..they are jealous trust me. Ask me how I know.


I made the mistake (before I was blissed out, I was still really raw and upset) and I learned my lesson. I’ve learned many, many lessons through this whole thing. Maybe that is partly the reason for the happiness now.


My sister would straight out tell me she was jealous. We can laugh about it. As a rule, many people want to what that you are suffering (that feels right to them) ! haha
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 23:02     Subject: So far I love being divorced
Anonymous wrote:Me too! Congrats, don’t talk about it too much with parent friends……..they are jealous trust me. Ask me how I know.


I made the mistake (before I was blissed out, I was still really raw and upset) and I learned my lesson. I’ve learned many, many lessons through this whole thing. Maybe that is partly the reason for the happiness now.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 22:56     Subject: So far I love being divorced
Anonymous wrote:"Kids are well adjusted"

Well, if adults can't adjust, kids have to try to adjust their reality. What choice do they have?


+1000

Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 22:56     Subject: Re:So far I love being divorced
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Curious- how old are you?


41. Divorced 2 years ago.


Great age for this decision!


Well it wasn’t exactly planned! But nice to do something at the right age. FWIW for those who were asking best age for first baby, I got married and had first baby at age 27.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 22:53     Subject: So far I love being divorced
Anonymous wrote:Same here OP although I have no plans to ever even date again because I’m so happy alone. My ex and I are both low drama people and we have a calm, friendly coparenting relationship. It’s so much better than the bad, tense marriage we were trapped in.


Hear! Hear!

Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 22:34     Subject: So far I love being divorced
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Go read Lyz Lenz's book that comes out today. This American Ex-Wife.

Congrats on rebuilding your life. My parents split, and I think seeing them both find happiness was really empowering for me. I choose my husband more carefully than they did, but I also know that if my relationship isn't serving me, I can move on and be ok.



I saw the wapo article with her. Maggie Smith also wrote a divorce memoir. There is a shift.


A shift lol. This is the five millionth version of Eat Pray Love.


I don't think so. Eat Pray Love woman left her husband and was paid to travel and write and immediately got remarried. Maggie Smith was left by her cheating husband. The new shift is that marriage isn't all that.

I don’t think it’s a bit much at all. On the contrary.
I'm divorced so not anti-divorce, and I haven't read the book... only read this Slate article - https://slate.com/culture/2024/02/lyz-lenz-book-divorce-this-american-ex-wife.html. But modern civil marriage as a system of oppression of women seems a bit much.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 22:26     Subject: So far I love being divorced
I say get married early, have kids, divorce early!
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 22:25     Subject: Re:So far I love being divorced
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Curious- how old are you?


41. Divorced 2 years ago.


Great age for this decision!
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 22:03     Subject: Re:So far I love being divorced
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Curious- how old are you?


41. Divorced 2 years ago.


41 year old guy here also recently divorced and I'm so happy. Keep up the good, OP!
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 22:00     Subject: So far I love being divorced
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Go read Lyz Lenz's book that comes out today. This American Ex-Wife.

Congrats on rebuilding your life. My parents split, and I think seeing them both find happiness was really empowering for me. I choose my husband more carefully than they did, but I also know that if my relationship isn't serving me, I can move on and be ok.



I saw the wapo article with her. Maggie Smith also wrote a divorce memoir. There is a shift.


A shift lol. This is the five millionth version of Eat Pray Love.


I don't think so. Eat Pray Love woman left her husband and was paid to travel and write and immediately got remarried. Maggie Smith was left by her cheating husband. The new shift is that marriage isn't all that.


I'm divorced so not anti-divorce, and I haven't read the book... only read this Slate article - https://slate.com/culture/2024/02/lyz-lenz-book-divorce-this-american-ex-wife.html. But modern civil marriage as a system of oppression of women seems a bit much.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 21:39     Subject: So far I love being divorced
Anonymous wrote:Unhappy would have been fine. I was abused.


Neither is fine.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 21:17     Subject: So far I love being divorced
Congratulations!

I am also on the other side. It wasn’t for quite some time after that I figured out just how depressed and such a small part of myself I’d become in the last half of my marriage. I’m so grateful to have this chance at life again.