Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming the last 2 posts were by the same pp, but why are you calling them selfish? Because they have boundaries and don't put up with sh&t? Because they prioritize self care? Because they don't spend time on things that make them feel like crap?

I don't see any of those things as lacking compromise or being selfish, or in any way a detriment to marriage. I think these are labels that older generations are putting on them because they live differently. We see posts all the time about people staying in crappy marriages, overlooking red flags or putting themselves last and being a martyr. That clearly isn't working, so I find it hard to believe that their version is going to be drastically worse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there will be attempts at more equitable divisions of labor. That’s great. However, I do think with such pressure being placed on trying to be so perfectly egalitarian in a marriage, how biological realities will impact marriage. Also, yeah, this is a coddled generation who has been told they can do whatever they want. They were raised on social media. They’ll quit jobs in an instant if they need a mental health break or whatever. They’re super easily offended.

I mean, realistically, men need sex in a marriage to be happy. Women need connection in a marriage to need sex. There needs to be compromise. I bet it’s just the same sht as it’s always been through history. Same complaints. Same judgement and resentment and the four horsemen sht that Gottman talks about. It’s unavoidable. The only difference now is that both parties will be extra hard headed because they are filled with self centered narcissistic pride and like a bunch of therapy speak. I guess we’ll see!

This doesnt sound like you know much about Gen Z. They are very sex positive and more open minded about sex. With poly gaining traction their future marriages may even be quite untraditional.

That said, there are still incels and red pillers even among this generation. Soooo definitely not a slam dunk on that for sure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont like to paint with a broad brush, but I think overall I agree with the article.

GenZ seem to really value their mental health and boundaries. They are not going to put up with some lackluster spouse who wont pull their weight. They are not going to let a nasty MIL abuse them, and I think they will take better care of their kids to protect them from toxic people. They arent afraid of therapy to confront their issues.

I also think they arent desperate for companionship, so they will hold out for someone that really ticks all the boxes.

So this is the opposite of what the article says about marrying early. I have seen a lot of kids with mental health issues and very easy lives. They haven't been tested very much in life and the jobs out there are above what they can do easily and also have meaningful relationships. The jobs are too hard for them for the effort they are willingto put out, they are not used to putting in the work of relationships or work on anything and they will have good intentions but will give up because it's all harder than they thought.

I might have missed something - but this article doesnt discuss marrying early/at a young age? It seems like you have a really negative view on them. They (generally speaking) put effort into things they want, and less effort into things they dont want. So yes, crappy jobs are something they dont want, and work culture is shifting because of that (and covid). If a relationship is something they want, they will put the effort in. And especially the upfront effort, weeding out bad choices or people they dont vibe with.

In a lot of older generations (mine incl), we were told to overlook red flags. Even the old adage starting in kindergarten - if he pulls your pig tails it means he likes you! They are not growing up with this and are looking at sex, dating and marriage totally differently.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are moving in the direction of no marriages.

That suggests the ones who marry, actually want to and know what they're doing.

I'm Gen X, and have been impressed with Gen Z overall. I'm sure there are lemons, as in any generation, but the ones I know seem to be smart and emotionally intelligent.

Do you really think a 20 something "knows what they are doing" with regards to marrying at a young age?

My spouse and I married when we were 20 somethings and we’re still married more than 40 years later. So, yes, some people that age do know what they are doing in terms of having found the right person and having good expectations and relationship skills.

You got lucky. You didn’t know what you were doing. If you were being honest you would say its a lot of work to maintain a happy successful marriage and not always easy.

Isn't that true at any age?

Anonymous wrote:I think there will be attempts at more equitable divisions of labor. That’s great. However, I do think with such pressure being placed on trying to be so perfectly egalitarian in a marriage, how biological realities will impact marriage. Also, yeah, this is a coddled generation who has been told they can do whatever they want. They were raised on social media. They’ll quit jobs in an instant if they need a mental health break or whatever. They’re super easily offended.

I mean, realistically, men need sex in a marriage to be happy. Women need connection in a marriage to need sex. There needs to be compromise. I bet it’s just the same sht as it’s always been through history. Same complaints. Same judgement and resentment and the four horsemen sht that Gottman talks about. It’s unavoidable. The only difference now is that both parties will be extra hard headed because they are filled with self centered narcissistic pride and like a bunch of therapy speak. I guess we’ll see!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont like to paint with a broad brush, but I think overall I agree with the article.

GenZ seem to really value their mental health and boundaries. They are not going to put up with some lackluster spouse who wont pull their weight. They are not going to let a nasty MIL abuse them, and I think they will take better care of their kids to protect them from toxic people. They arent afraid of therapy to confront their issues.

I also think they arent desperate for companionship, so they will hold out for someone that really ticks all the boxes.

So this is the opposite of what the article says about marrying early. I have seen a lot of kids with mental health issues and very easy lives. They haven't been tested very much in life and the jobs out there are above what they can do easily and also have meaningful relationships. The jobs are too hard for them for the effort they are willingto put out, they are not used to putting in the work of relationships or work on anything and they will have good intentions but will give up because it's all harder than they thought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont like to paint with a broad brush, but I think overall I agree with the article.

GenZ seem to really value their mental health and boundaries. They are not going to put up with some lackluster spouse who wont pull their weight. They are not going to let a nasty MIL abuse them, and I think they will take better care of their kids to protect them from toxic people. They arent afraid of therapy to confront their issues.

I also think they arent desperate for companionship, so they will hold out for someone that really ticks all the boxes.

Most won’t marry. Many won’t want kids. The birth rate will plummet. Out of those, the little navel gazer brats who thought they were perfect and actually do realize they want kids will have waited until they’re 39 to want kids and by then the Supreme Court will have outlawed invitro and they’ll be up sht creek without their avocado toast and latte.

I mean nothing matters anyway, so it’s fine. The world will turn. The sands of the desert will shift. The higher power will watch over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont like to paint with a broad brush, but I think overall I agree with the article.

GenZ seem to really value their mental health and boundaries. They are not going to put up with some lackluster spouse who wont pull their weight. They are not going to let a nasty MIL abuse them, and I think they will take better care of their kids to protect them from toxic people. They arent afraid of therapy to confront their issues.

I also think they arent desperate for companionship, so they will hold out for someone that really ticks all the boxes.

Most won’t marry. Many won’t want kids. The birth rate will plummet. Out of those, the little navel gazer brats who thought they were perfect and actually do realize they want kids will have waited until they’re 39 to want kids and by then the Supreme Court will have outlawed invitro and they’ll be up sht creek without their avocado toast and latte.

I mean nothing matters anyway, so it’s fine. The world will turn. The sands of the desert will shift. The higher power will watch over.

You could have just said, “ Brawndo has what plants crave!”

Anonymous wrote:I dont like to paint with a broad brush, but I think overall I agree with the article.

GenZ seem to really value their mental health and boundaries. They are not going to put up with some lackluster spouse who wont pull their weight. They are not going to let a nasty MIL abuse them, and I think they will take better care of their kids to protect them from toxic people. They arent afraid of therapy to confront their issues.

I also think they arent desperate for companionship, so they will hold out for someone that really ticks all the boxes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont like to paint with a broad brush, but I think overall I agree with the article.

GenZ seem to really value their mental health and boundaries. They are not going to put up with some lackluster spouse who wont pull their weight. They are not going to let a nasty MIL abuse them, and I think they will take better care of their kids to protect them from toxic people. They arent afraid of therapy to confront their issues.

I also think they arent desperate for companionship, so they will hold out for someone that really ticks all the boxes.

Most won’t marry. Many won’t want kids. The birth rate will plummet. Out of those, the little navel gazer brats who thought they were perfect and actually do realize they want kids will have waited until they’re 39 to want kids and by then the Supreme Court will have outlawed invitro and they’ll be up sht creek without their avocado toast and latte.

I mean nothing matters anyway, so it’s fine. The world will turn. The sands of the desert will shift. The higher power will watch over.