Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you treat him like a child and “manage” him like he is an imbecile. In that context, yes, every little thing you are controlling about implies that he is incompetent and would cause boiling rage.

This. I would love to just be a fly on the wall to know all the facts. Do you nag him? Or pester him about idiotic, annoying things? You know men don’t like that sht, right? How would you feel if he constantly told you to do mundane things or critiqued your every move? Maybe watch your mouth, lady. Just watch it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you treat him like a child and “manage” him like he is an imbecile. In that context, yes, every little thing you are controlling about implies that he is incompetent and would cause boiling rage.

This. I would love to just be a fly on the wall to know all the facts. Do you nag him? Or pester him about idiotic, annoying things? You know men don’t like that sht, right? How would you feel if he constantly told you to do mundane things or critiqued your every move? Maybe watch your mouth, lady. Just watch it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Laugh in his face. Tell him he has eroded any love you once had for him. Move to the guest room. Recoil in disgust when he reaches for you.

This is terrible advice. Pp is trying to get you to provoke your husband.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you treat him like a child and “manage” him like he is an imbecile. In that context, yes, every little thing you are controlling about implies that he is incompetent and would cause boiling rage.

Anonymous wrote:For the last five to ten years, my husband yells at me loudly literally every single day if I bring up anything that he doesn't like to hear -- i.e. asking him to remember to lock the door when he comes in or leaves the house, saying that we should leave a little earlier for a destination because there is extra traffic that day (he says I am trying to control him when I say that). Just about everything upsets him, and he starts yelling at the top of his voice, eyes bulging, saliva coming out of his mouth. It's particularly strange because it's not even "hot topics" that might generate this level of anger. It is his daily response to just about everything. I used to get upset back and insist that the things he was saying weren't true. But it has gotten to the point where I just keep calmly repeating, "Why are you screaming? This is not something to get so upset about and can just be discussed calmly." Nothing seems to calm him down. He has recently started ADHD medication, which I was hoping would help him control his temper, but it has not helped so far in that department. Has anyone dealt with this? If so, what worked? He will not go to see a psychologist because "he does not have an anger issue." He is approaching sixty years old, so I don't know if this is some kind of male menopause issue, but he has become a raging monster.

Anonymous wrote:I have told him that I have read articles indicating that men who are depressed often exhibit greater signs of anger, but that again angered him, and he insisted that I am the root of all his problems. I have been begging him for years to get tested for ADHD and, more recently, to see a psychologist about possible depression. He finally got the ADHD testing and was indeed diagnosed after nearly thirty years of my begging him to go. He still refuses to discuss the possibility of depression though.

Anonymous wrote:Laugh in his face. Tell him he has eroded any love you once had for him. Move to the guest room. Recoil in disgust when he reaches for you.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you treat him like a child and “manage” him like he is an imbecile. In that context, yes, every little thing you are controlling about implies that he is incompetent and would cause boiling rage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have told him that I have read articles indicating that men who are depressed often exhibit greater signs of anger, but that again angered him, and he insisted that I am the root of all his problems. I have been begging him for years to get tested for ADHD and, more recently, to see a psychologist about possible depression. He finally got the ADHD testing and was indeed diagnosed after nearly thirty years of my begging him to go. He still refuses to discuss the possibility of depression though.

If this is OP posting the PP then gtfo. He is untreated mental disorders big time.

He’s probably pretty incompetent too so at a minimum he needs to live alone in a small apartment. A nice simple life.

You need to go blossom and have a real life Op.

Live in separate homes. ASAP.

Or divorce, but he’ll be a big albatross around your and the adult kids’ necks forever.

He needs lexapro and prob something for bipolar or borderline. He sounds insane, clinically.
He can’t verbally communicate without raising his voice and yelling. F that.