Are you sure he is not on spectrum? Mine may have been according to family, but they said it after we had already parted ways.
Had I known, I would have tried to understand why he was the way he was. He definitely didn't know. Everyone else was strange according to him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to develop your inner resources to comfort and soothe yourself through the stressful times you are experiencing. It is unrealistic to expect your DH to soothe you all of the time when he has his own stresses, and this pressure likely adds to that stress and may cause him to withdraw further. It is at least worth trying, as divorcing and being a single mom will be even more stressful.

This. This. This. Accept DH the way he is. You need to learn to sooth your stressful times yourself and build resiliency.

Ok I’m done venting. My point is that I want to know how to gracefully carry all this without leaning on DH, but it’s just a lot.

Highly recommend Mindful Self Compassion: https://centerformsc.org/live-online-mindful-self-compassion-lomsc-course/ It is online, live with a cohort of people for 10 weeks - there is a time investment while you are taking it, but well worth it if you can find a class time that works for you.

Talking through patterns in therapy can help so that the emotions don't feel as personal and easier to accept and let pass so that you can respond rather than react. (meditation can help with this too but therapy, as long as you find a good match who doesn't push you toward divorce, can help too)

It sounds like you need a therapist.

Hope for me to stop doubting whether he loves me and parlaying that doubt into fights.

Sounds like this issue would carry over to any relationship you’d end up in. The grass would not be greener.