how disgusting... go on the special needs forum and see some real problems.

Amy Chua herself has expressed big regrets.

Anonymous wrote:If you have missed the window, that’s a good thing. Amy Chua’s kids basically hate her. So do her students.

'
As she looks back on her college experience, Lulu has a newfound appreciation for her mother’s brutal parenting style.

“People assume that tiger parenting would beget low self-esteem because there isn’t that constant praise, but I think I’m exiting with a lot more confidence than some others, because my confidence is earned,” she says. “[My mom] gave me the tools to drive my own confidence.”

While she’s still figuring out what she will do after graduation — she’s considering law school and a move to New York City — she says she does know one thing.

“I will definitely be a tiger mom,” she says. “It’s not a blanketly bad thing to push. Sometimes it just means you really believe in your child.”'

Anonymous wrote:op - this thread has helped so much. thank you.

I think there is a lot of guilt and second guessing when you come up against - hey my kid can't get into the 'best' school. and i knew on some level all along that i was making that 'deal' by not tiger momming it, but i think on some level i also wanted to believe i could 'have it all' and a kid who was self motivated and we focused on mental health and friendships and the academics would just sort themselves out, based on his testing and his self motivation. And that's just not always the case. obviously

Parenting is tough, and there’s lots of second guessing. Keep loving the kid you have. Good luck, op

op - this thread has helped so much. thank you.

I think there is a lot of guilt and second guessing when you come up against - hey my kid can't get into the 'best' school. and i knew on some level all along that i was making that 'deal' by not tiger momming it, but i think on some level i also wanted to believe i could 'have it all' and a kid who was self motivated and we focused on mental health and friendships and the academics would just sort themselves out, based on his testing and his self motivation. And that's just not always the case. obviously

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you could have become the Tiger Mom, you would have been one already.

Becoming a Tiger Mom means that you have to be super organized, super strategic and super hardworking. The angst against TM happens mainly because others can'y work that hard and make that many sacrifices for their children.

The word is anger, not angst. And many of us believe that the tiger mom approach is bad parenting.

How do you know that the Tiger Mom approach is bad parenting? If you did not have a Tiger Mom and if you did not do Tiger parenting, then the only exposure to Tiger Parenting you have is just seeing the Tiger Cubs of Tiger parents doing very well and surpassing your own kids.

So the angst which gives rise to anger, both are misplaced. You made a decision to not Tiger parent your kid. Now make peace with it. Why start threads about missing the window to be a Tiger Mom?

Are you a troll or an idiot? Can't tell which.

If you have missed the window, that’s a good thing. Amy Chua’s kids basically hate her. So do her students.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you could have become the Tiger Mom, you would have been one already.

Becoming a Tiger Mom means that you have to be super organized, super strategic and super hardworking. The angst against TM happens mainly because others can'y work that hard and make that many sacrifices for their children.

op - i disagree that if I could have, I would have. I operate at a super high level at work, and have had no problem with organization or implementing a strategy as it pertains to anything I have prioritized.
I didn't do it for a bunch of other reasons, primarily that I think I just thought it would happen organically...

I'm not the PP you replied to OP but I agree that you would already be a Tiger Mom by now. You simply do not have the tunnel vision of a Tiger Mom - who would push achievement at the expense of all else - you are more nuanced and able to be a good parent to your "whole child" not just to some external outcome. In the long run the social part is very important, not just for mental health but for managing life and work.

I am a moderate tiger mom who has backed off somewhat on the academics because

a) Academics is going well and I am at a school I trust to do a good job. This does not mean it's a school that would qualify as "elite" by a useless measure of prestige; it's a school that does a good job with my kids.

b) Academics is not going to be his long term problem. Being fit and socially functional is. Therefore some of the tiger mom energy goes there.

By 2t and 1t I assume you mean 2nd tier and 1st tier? If so, the reason he wasn't admitted probably had little to do with him. It's so competitive.

If he's genuinely a bright kid, remember he's 10. I think you're doing the right thing to focus on the social stuff and the academics will come. No kid can do well academically if he's feeling disliked or uncomfortable at school. Especially as you're going into middle school, which is tough anyway.

I am glad you are in a school which supports him in the way he needs!! Many aren't so lucky.

Whatever will you do if you can't follow in the footsteps of a woman who married sexual deviant and mentored JD Vance. Your child might grow up to live and work in the company of decent human beings who enjoy each other's company.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you could have become the Tiger Mom, you would have been one already.

Becoming a Tiger Mom means that you have to be super organized, super strategic and super hardworking. The angst against TM happens mainly because others can'y work that hard and make that many sacrifices for their children.

The word is anger, not angst. And many of us believe that the tiger mom approach is bad parenting.

How do you know that the Tiger Mom approach is bad parenting? If you did not have a Tiger Mom and if you did not do Tiger parenting, then the only exposure to Tiger Parenting you have is just seeing the Tiger Cubs of Tiger parents doing very well and surpassing your own kids.

So the angst which gives rise to anger, both are misplaced. You made a decision to not Tiger parent your kid. Now make peace with it. Why start threads about missing the window to be a Tiger Mom?