3
But I do want to stick up for DH a little. I am an absurdly warm and caring person, but my kid respecting others/elders is very big for me. I can see reacting (somewhat) like that, especially if I have some emotions about the thing that happened. I am thinking maybe the thing is something that DS has been warned about, or showed poor judgment in, or something... and maybe that is why your DH reacted that way. Maybe I'm reaching Idk.
I know we all just want to say 3! We're perfect! But adults make mistakes as well as kids.