Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same I get $1900/m but my ex makes $600K, so it’s not a lot considering his income.

Who was his lawyer? I was ordered to pay $1100 a month on a $50k salary.

I’m in the same boat OP! Except in my case my ex cheated on me and was abusive and still ended up with the kids. On top of CS I am in a 5 year bankruptcy plan paying money I charged to escape the marriage.

Good times.

I don’t know, man. If you make $50k/yr, then you probably both need to work. If you have two kids, $1100/month is probably half of the cost of childcare, before you have paid for anything else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neighbor waited until kids were 18 to file on his cheating whore wife.

That’s obviously the most ideal for men. Then the $ they want their children to have can go directly to them and not go mother using it for Botox and self care.

Hopefully, his kids were old enough that he did t have to put up with her much longer.

Does alimony phase out? MD? VA?

Wait, what?
I don’t get this. If you remain married, your money is joint. If your wife wants to spend money on Botox and self-care, she doesn’t need to get a divorce to do it. She can just get a credit card.

Or are you advocating for some kind of abusive marriage where one spouse doesn’t have access to any money?

OP, My long term boyfriend was in the same situation as you. He had alimony and child support and did not have much to live on after that. I did not know him during this time. This was not in Virginia.

My boyfriend got a second and a third job so he could pay his bills. He got an overnight stocking job at the grocery store and he worked an inventory job overnight for RGIS. RGIS liked him so much they made him a supervisor. His second and third jobs were on top of his main 40 hour M-F job.

I'd get some side work going.

How long is the alimony for?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I receive child support from my ex. Raising children is expensive. People who pay child support often underestimate all the cost. My ex is not rich nor is he poor. However the amount he sends me no doubt put me in a much better financial situation than him. He agreed to the amount and I wonder if he regrets it. We shouldn’t be quick to dismiss people who feel they are being strangled with the payments. Using our kids to punish our exes for whatever they have or have not done in the marriage is poor form.

Well this is why 50/50 should be the norm.

If you can’t afford to take care of your kids than he should keep them.

As for men, staying away from marriage is the best course if action for most men

He probably doesn’t want them, pp.
There are a lot of men out there who do not want primary custody of their children, or even 50/50.

Anonymous wrote:I’m totally certain that OP did everything in his power to let his ex wife flourish in her career. He probably did most night wake ups, helped with drop off and pick up evenly, took care of sick days and appointments and classes and sports and valentines and birthdays and vacations just as much. I’m sure that she didn’t have to step back her earning potential or give up dreams to be married to him with kids. Keep complaining, OP..

I’m kind of with you, pp. I don’t know OP’s situation, but everyone I know who complains about child support and alimony (male or female) kind of took their lower earning spouse for granted with regards to childcare.

Anonymous wrote:Neighbor waited until kids were 18 to file on his cheating whore wife.

That’s obviously the most ideal for men. Then the $ they want their children to have can go directly to them and not go mother using it for Botox and self care.

Hopefully, his kids were old enough that he did t have to put up with her much longer.

Does alimony phase out? MD? VA?

Anonymous wrote:I receive child support from my ex. Raising children is expensive. People who pay child support often underestimate all the cost. My ex is not rich nor is he poor. However the amount he sends me no doubt put me in a much better financial situation than him. He agreed to the amount and I wonder if he regrets it. We shouldn’t be quick to dismiss people who feel they are being strangled with the payments. Using our kids to punish our exes for whatever they have or have not done in the marriage is poor form.

Well this is why 50/50 should be the norm.

If you can’t afford to take care of your kids than he should keep them.

As for men, staying away from marriage is the best course if action for most men

Anonymous wrote:Key is to forego marriage . Women will have sex with you without commitment.


Avoiding marriage is the best thing for men now

Really, it’s avoiding having children.
I mean, he would probably be paying a lot for the kids even if he remained married or never married.

Key is to forego marriage . Women will have sex with you without commitment.


Avoiding marriage is the best thing for men now

I don’t really get being upset over child support.
What do you the need money for that’s more important than taking care of your kids?

Move to a different country and give up your citizenship. Send checks only to coveje kids.

US divorce courts are GROSSLY unfair to men. Period.

The faster you get out the better. Singapore speaks English everywhere. You are literally a modern day slave who'll keep laying alimony for for. It's slavery.

Neighbor waited until kids were 18 to file on his cheating whore wife.

I receive child support from my ex. Raising children is expensive. People who pay child support often underestimate all the cost. My ex is not rich nor is he poor. However the amount he sends me no doubt put me in a much better financial situation than him. He agreed to the amount and I wonder if he regrets it. We shouldn’t be quick to dismiss people who feel they are being strangled with the payments. Using our kids to punish our exes for whatever they have or have not done in the marriage is poor form.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m totally certain that OP did everything in his power to let his ex wife flourish in her career. He probably did most night wake ups, helped with drop off and pick up evenly, took care of sick days and appointments and classes and sports and valentines and birthdays and vacations just as much. I’m sure that she didn’t have to step back her earning potential or give up dreams to be married to him with kids. Keep complaining, OP..

Oh sh***t up please lol. Your classic assumption that Dads are just laying on the couch doing nothing is so old. Come up with a new one please.

The assumption is that OP’s wife most likely back tracked her own career so they could have kids. So his complaints about her salary are misogynistic and gross.

You should equally shut up!

OP you won’t get a lot of sympathy here because child support and alimony hurt people in the middle class the most. I do pay child support and alimony, but I barely feel it because I have a high income. People telling you to work more and save are not people who are struggling financially.

For people in the middle class in particular, there are good financial incentives for filing for divorce. Remove some of the incentives and see how many will change their mind. People are quick to say they would leave regardless but they are lying. They are living because they know they will be okay financially.