Anonymous wrote:At 40-45 most women still look great (and many haven't changed in appearance at all since their early 30s!)

It's really 46+ when looks go off a cliff for women. I've seen this in 50 or more friends and fellow parents at school, etc. Perimenopause hits, estrogen begins to drop and women age almost overnight.

Signed,
49 year old woman

+ a million on this! Speaking as another 49 year old. I feel like I have aged 15 years in the last 5!!!

I think the sad truth is that for a near- or post-menopausal woman to still be considered beautiful by conventional standards, she will inevitably be normal weight or thin and have at least some cosmetic intervention: botox, hair, skincare, tailored clothing, and money at a minimum. These are standards that many upper middle class women can maintain and they don't make you look crazy but they also don't come cheap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about Michelle Pfeiffer? She looks great, no? Hasn't chopped her hair or seemingly had lots of work done.

LOL if you think she hasn't had a facelift. Someone with her face shape would have jowls at her age, but you can cut glass with her jawline. That being said, she looks fantastic and has allowed for just a bit of aging around the eyes. It makes it look "natural" when it is anything but.

I would believe this.

I think women who have facelifts look much, much more natural and beautiful than those who do a lot of piecemeal things like botox and fillers. Even thought facelifts are expensive and elaborate, they end up looking very natural and like themselves.

I've noticed that a lot of major movie stars (like Nicole Kidman) look much better than some of the TV stars (Courtney Cox!) of the same age, and I wonder if it's because major opt for facelifts for some reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 40-45 most women still look great (and many haven't changed in appearance at all since their early 30s!)

It's really 46+ when looks go off a cliff for women. I've seen this in 50 or more friends and fellow parents at school, etc. Perimenopause hits, estrogren begins to drop and women age almost overnight.

Signed,
49 year old woman

This. This. This. The wall is ckming, but you have more time. Perimenopause is nature saying you're done keeping the species going so no need to attract mates or be a strong vessel for carrying young. Things start to dry up, dry out, thin where you don't want it (hair, skin) and thicken where you don't want it (fat distribution).

The good news, is you can maintain what you have by being more thoughtful about self-care and couple that with the realization that only youthfulness=attractiveness.

This is scaring me. Im 44

Have you been taking Botox since your 20s?, rentina, sun screen. exercise and keep your BMI in the high teens? Those are important

These all help, but at some point everyone falls off the menopause cliff. Your skin changes (both color and texture), gravity starts to kick in (jowls, marionette lines, nasolabial folds), your neck gets weird, your waist loses curve... It is what it is. And LOL to the prior poster who thinks that not drinking and a clean diet will save them from this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 40-45 most women still look great (and many haven't changed in appearance at all since their early 30s!)

It's really 46+ when looks go off a cliff for women. I've seen this in 50 or more friends and fellow parents at school, etc. Perimenopause hits, estrogren begins to drop and women age almost overnight.

Signed,
49 year old woman

This. This. This. The wall is ckming, but you have more time. Perimenopause is nature saying you're done keeping the species going so no need to attract mates or be a strong vessel for carrying young. Things start to dry up, dry out, thin where you don't want it (hair, skin) and thicken where you don't want it (fat distribution).

The good news, is you can maintain what you have by being more thoughtful about self-care and couple that with the realization that only youthfulness=attractiveness.

This is scaring me. Im 44

Have you been taking Botox since your 20s?, rentina, sun screen. exercise and keep your BMI in the high teens? Those are important

Anonymous wrote:What about Michelle Pfeiffer? She looks great, no? Hasn't chopped her hair or seemingly had lots of work done.

LOL if you think she hasn't had a facelift. Someone with her face shape would have jowls at her age, but you can cut glass with her jawline. That being said, she looks fantastic and has allowed for just a bit of aging around the eyes. It makes it look "natural" when it is anything but.

As a 50-something woman, seeing the aging hit this decade has been harder than I anticipated. I'm resisting work. But, as we were watching the Grammy's this weekend, my teen age daughter said something that really made me okay with aging. Lionel Richie came on and he just looked so odd from all the work he had done. My daughter then said that all really old people (70+) tend to look bad with plastic surgery but the ones who have had no work done but stay health are the beautiful older people. And she's right! Not that I don't think people like Helen Mirren aren't just blessed with good genetics and that some light work is fine. But stay vital and healthy and embrace you.

Anonymous wrote:Naming celebrities is pointless. You don’t have access to their support network that helps them look that way, nor the time they have to devote to it, and realistically you weren’t as attractive as they were at their baseline, ever. Find women in your real life you think are beautiful.

100% agree. Even if you are as attractive as celebrities who have aged well, it is likely you have not been doing their regime of medical and non-medical interventions for skin care. If you are asking, I'm guessing in part it is a bit too late to maintain like a celebrity. It is not too late to maintain like a normal person though!

For me it’s the neck skin and crepe that hit the hardest. The under chin slack and the jowls on my formerly gorgeous neckline. That and the hair loss. I can deal with the rest.

Anonymous wrote:Isabella Rossellini is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I have been following her since White Nights.

Ironically, a boyfriend from years ago told me the most beautiful woman he had ever seen is Ingrid Bergman.

There is nothing ironic about this.

Anonymous wrote:At 40-45 most women still look great (and many haven't changed in appearance at all since their early 30s!)

It's really 46+ when looks go off a cliff for women. I've seen this in 50 or more friends and fellow parents at school, etc. Perimenopause hits, estrogren begins to drop and women age almost overnight.

Signed,
49 year old woman

Only if you keep drinking regularly and eating crap!

Agree Michelle Pfeiffer and Maria Bello are examples of women in their 50s/60s who haven't totally destroyed their faces with procedures and are aging somewhat naturally. Both naturally very beautiful, of course.

The takeaways I've gotten from looking at photos of some of these women listed in the thread are this:

- Teeth. I think my teeth are really aging me. Most of these women have good teeth, whether naturally good or they've had work done. Having good (white but not too white) can help a lot. I'm sure some of them have veneers but if they do they are natural looking.

- Hair. Most of these women are dying their hair or wearing a wig. That's fine, it's an accessible option. I'm on the fence about this because I actually kind of like the salt and pepper in my hair. But even if I embrace the grays, obviously having a good cut and healthy hair that moves and looks soft helps a lot. None of these women have stiff, set hair or wiry, unkempt hair.

- Good skincare/Minimal makeup. This is a big one. When you are young, doing more with makeup can be an easy way to feel more attractive or confident. It just does not work as you age. You need really moisturizing makeup and you need to adjust the application to suit the fact that older women tend to be more washed out. I feel like the some color on the cheeks and lips is good, but more minimal eye makeup because heavy makeup seems to emphasize lines/hoods/bags.

- More comfortable, relaxed fits. Most of these women are dressing in more forgiving clothes. Maybe to conceal things they don't want to show on their bodies, or maybe for their own comfort. But I think trying to squeeze into skintight clothes or super body-conscious clothing can be aging after a certain age. You don't have to wear a mumu, but I think clothes that give your body room to move seem to look more youthful.

Also - Maria Bello. She has embraced menopause and is still beautiful and vibrant.

What about Michelle Pfeiffer? She looks great, no? Hasn't chopped her hair or seemingly had lots of work done.

Anonymous wrote:Naming celebrities is pointless. You don’t have access to their support network that helps them look that way, nor the time they have to devote to it, and realistically you weren’t as attractive as they were at their baseline, ever. Find women in your real life you think are beautiful.

Agree that it's important to remember that most celebrities started out at a baseline level of attractiveness that is higher than most people. But the advantage to looking to celebrities, as opposed to people in your own life, is that you can really LOOK. Like examine and pull apart and figure out what they are doing that is helping them look better at an older age. It's hard to do that with a regular person unless they are posting a million photos of themselves online. Most are not.

I know I'll never look like Isabella Rossellini, but what I take from looking at photos of her is that she has accepted/embraced certain aspects of aging but held on to certain youthful features that have a big impact. Dying her hair really has a high impact because she has allowed her face and neck to age pretty normally and she wears her hair short. If you look at her Instagram, she's got a photo of her twin sister up from recently and her sister is also beautiful but has gone gray, and you can see it really makes a difference in their appearance. I think her sister looks fantastic, too, but it's an older look (her sister is also thinner, which also impacts how their faces have aged).

Also, Isabella is a Lancome spokesmodel, but she often posts photos on her Instagram without any makeup at all. This is really useful if you have a similar face (no Botox, no fillers, a lot of fine lines plus deeper lines around the eyes, pretty prominent jowls) because you can see pretty much exactly what she (or the makeup artist) is doing with her makeup to bring out her best features and downplay the lines/jowls. If I was her age and had an event coming up, I'd literally just take a before and after of her to a makeup artist and say "can you help me achieve this?" It's absolutely an accessible look for a regular person.