I don't call too often, but I get at least 3 emails and several texts a day from her, so there's really no need. She lives about 20 minutes away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is so sad to see so many people estranged from their families. This site seems to have a higher percentage than anyone I know in real life.

People don’t realize that their kids are watching and learning.

I have been open with my kids about why I don't have a close relationship with my mother and have used it as an opportunity to have discussions.

My mother is a pathological liar who never takes any accountability for anything she says or does. She is now old and completely alone. It is an excellent life lesson on what happens to people like that, so the kids are in fact watching and learning.

Staying in a toxic and abusive relationship out of perceived obligation is a terrible example to set for kids. I'm sure you agree.

I'm 44 and my mother lives 16 hours away/2.5 hour flight. We communicate (combo of me calling, her calling, texting) at least a few times a day. Sometimes the calls last a minute; if I have time, they could go on for an hour (I work full time and have three kids).

I see her probably 5-6 times per year.

Anonymous wrote:1. How often do you call your mother? At least twice a week
2. How old are you? 39
3. How far does she lives? Half the year 1300 miles, half the year in my town
4. How often do you see her?

when in town 3-4 times a week or more.

Once a week but I try to text her more often
I'm 38, she's 76
She lives about a 3 hr drive away and I see her about every 6 weeks but generally as a means to let her and DH spend time together

My mom was borderline emotionally abusive growing up. She was controlling and it seemed her life motto was "react first, think later" which often led to complete overreactions and fake back pedaling later. After my dad died, she did a lot of therapy and has changed a ton. We've gotten closer but our relationship will always be strained for me.

1. How often do you call your mother? Rarely as neither of us loves to talk on the phone, but we text almost daily. One of us calls the other when we have something to discuss that's too complicated for text, maybe once or twice a month.

2. How old are you? 44

3. How far does she lives? Couple hours by plane. A 12 hour drive.

4. How often do you see her? Probably about three times a year for a week or so at a time. I'd love to see her more often.

I'm 51, my mother is 80. I love in DC, she lives in FL with my Dad.

I talk to them both about once a week. It used to be more often but I can tell my mother's cognition is declining and being on the phone is harder for her than it used to be.

I see my parents about 4x a year, as much as I can

1. How often do I call? Every morning on way to work
2. Am 56. Mother is 92 and in sound mind, though physically frail.
3. she lives 500 miles away
4. Every 6 to 8 weeks. It used to be less while she was still capable of living independently in her house. Back then she was still healthy enough to come on summer vacation with us.

She never complains and is very independent. She has a great sense of humor and perspective on life. She is incredibly loving and supportive and always has been even though I have lived over 500 miles away for over 30 years. Yes, she can drive me crazy at times---as I think all mothers can. But I will miss her so much when she is gone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is so sad to see so many people estranged from their families. This site seems to have a higher percentage than anyone I know in real life.

People don’t realize that their kids are watching and learning.

This. THis is what worries me.

DH's mother is a B***. He had limited contact for a long time, went through some sort of midllife crisis, and now talks to her several times a week. And seems to blame me for not having spent more time with her....which isn't exactly where the blame lies.

I talk to my mother about 3x per week. Used to see her a lot, then COVID and she refused to travel. Still does. I need to go see her soon (It's a flight not driveable).

Anonymous wrote:1. How often do you call your mother? Never, she died when I was 24.
2. How old are you? I probably talked to her pretty much every day before she died.
3. How far does she lives? At the time that she died, I lived about 20 minutes from her.
4. How often do you see her?

At least weekly at the time.

Anonymous wrote:It is so sad to see so many people estranged from their families. This site seems to have a higher percentage than anyone I know in real life.

People don’t realize that their kids are watching and learning.

Anonymous wrote:1. How often do you call your mother?
2. How old are you?
3. How far does she lives?
4. How often do you see her?

1. Every day. it has been this way since I left for college.
2. 43
3 4 hrs flight away.
4. Twice a year for 10 days.

It is so sad to see so many people estranged from their families. This site seems to have a higher percentage than anyone I know in real life.

1. How often do you call your mother? I was used to call as needed (from multiple times a week to once in 2 weeks). Now we are estranged. I text as needed.
2. How old are you? 50+
3. How far does she lives? 30 minutes driving
4. How often do you see her? I was used to see her once a week and then once every other week. Now I see her along with my sibling once every other month.

1. How often do you call your mother? Once every couple of weeks, begrudgingly.
2. How old are you? 43
3. How far does she lives? 300+ miles
4. How often do you see her? One to three times per year depending on schedule.

This thread has been very helpful, FYI. I went no contact with my mom for a few years but reconnected when she went through some health issues. We'll never have a good relationship but I was feeling guilty for not calling more often and I'm just thankful to not be alone in that context