Anonymous wrote:Does your teen do nothing at all? No sports. Does she menstruate? I do agree that teens should generally shower daily. Sure, skip a day here and there if too tired or whatever. Every other day should be a rarity, not common practice and every third day is just gross.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the teens and adults I know who only shower every other day or third day do in fact smell. They think they don’t, but they do.

Is that perhaps a you problem?

DP but it's true. You non bathers think nobody knows. But they do.

Anonymous wrote:My dermatologist told me I should shower every other day for my dry skin. My teen has the same dry skin, so she does the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, first of all THANK YOU for all the answers, I appreciate everyone who took the question seriously even though there was a range of answers.

To answer the couple of people who asked what the issue the meeting was to discuss, it was bedtime routines that will help her sleep better. It's not that I silently disagreed with a nightly shower as a way to relax, I get that. It's that the therapist said "How about you do ______ every night before you take your shower to save time, then take your nightly shower, then - " and the teen interrupted and said "I don't shower every night. Usually every other night." And the therapist was visually surprised and bothered, and instead of asking questions like "So, tell me about your choice not to shower every night, or is there something that stops you from doing it?" And she said "I just don't feel like it every night" and then the therapist went on to say she had to, that it was the only way to stay adequately clean and not smell. AS IF your genital health will actually be compromised and your body odor noticeable if you don't, in every case.

That's what I took issue with, since the therapist had been seeing the girl in person for over a year and no one had complained about any smell or odor, she'd never been bullied or made fun of about it (bullying wasn't an issue at all in her case), and she has many friends.

Again, I am fine with the idea of a shower every night to help relax and make it more likey she'll fall asleep faster (getting to sleep was sometimes an issue for her so overall the parents are being advised to have a more structured routine, which makes perfect sense). It was the therapist going straight in on insisting on daily showers and telling her it was a healthy body/healthy privates issue and very important she do it daily that bugged the hell out of me.

Anonymous wrote:This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.

Thank you for this, I explained the bigger point above, but you're right, it was originally about the routine but there were other things she offered as ideas to get to sleep faster that the teen or her parents shot down, and the therapist was very flexible. But this she was like "Oh, NO, you MUST SHOWER DAILY!!!" Specifically for medical/health reasons, and that is what bugged me because I've never ever had anyone (and I used to have to train temporary care parents and adoptive parents in the basic necessities and basic practices and of course hygeine was important for both physical and emotional/mental reasons, but never was a daily shower insisted on by the experts. Daily recommended, but clean and at least a few showers/baths a week was mandatory.

Thank you and thanks everyone!

What is one downside to showering daily? You may not like the advice but how is it wrong or unhelpful?

Anonymous wrote:OP here, first of all THANK YOU for all the answers, I appreciate everyone who took the question seriously even though there was a range of answers.

To answer the couple of people who asked what the issue the meeting was to discuss, it was bedtime routines that will help her sleep better. It's not that I silently disagreed with a nightly shower as a way to relax, I get that. It's that the therapist said "How about you do ______ every night before you take your shower to save time, then take your nightly shower, then - " and the teen interrupted and said "I don't shower every night. Usually every other night." And the therapist was visually surprised and bothered, and instead of asking questions like "So, tell me about your choice not to shower every night, or is there something that stops you from doing it?" And she said "I just don't feel like it every night" and then the therapist went on to say she had to, that it was the only way to stay adequately clean and not smell. AS IF your genital health will actually be compromised and your body odor noticeable if you don't, in every case.

That's what I took issue with, since the therapist had been seeing the girl in person for over a year and no one had complained about any smell or odor, she'd never been bullied or made fun of about it (bullying wasn't an issue at all in her case), and she has many friends.

Again, I am fine with the idea of a shower every night to help relax and make it more likey she'll fall asleep faster (getting to sleep was sometimes an issue for her so overall the parents are being advised to have a more structured routine, which makes perfect sense). It was the therapist going straight in on insisting on daily showers and telling her it was a healthy body/healthy privates issue and very important she do it daily that bugged the hell out of me.

Anonymous wrote:This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.

Thank you for this, I explained the bigger point above, but you're right, it was originally about the routine but there were other things she offered as ideas to get to sleep faster that the teen or her parents shot down, and the therapist was very flexible. But this she was like "Oh, NO, you MUST SHOWER DAILY!!!" Specifically for medical/health reasons, and that is what bugged me because I've never ever had anyone (and I used to have to train temporary care parents and adoptive parents in the basic necessities and basic practices and of course hygeine was important for both physical and emotional/mental reasons, but never was a daily shower insisted on by the experts. Daily recommended, but clean and at least a few showers/baths a week was mandatory.

Thank you and thanks everyone!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the teens and adults I know who only shower every other day or third day do in fact smell. They think they don’t, but they do.

Didn't take you long. You must have an alert set for shower posts.

Admit it, you're the 3 times a day underwear changer.

OP, it's perfectly fine to not shower every day. Ignore these nutjobs.

Look, just because you are nose blind to your own pungent funk doesn't mean others don't notice it.

DP here. I have one teen that needs a daily shower and one that doesn’t. Sorry nuance is hard for you.

Just says one of your kids is inactive and lazy.

Jesus woman. You are a massive b1tch.

Anonymous wrote:This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.

And honestly, even if you’re just bumming at home, it is much more relaxing to be clean and cozy rather than unshowered.

Anonymous wrote:My 10 yo showers three times a week: Sunday night, Tuesday night and Thursday night. It's fine. She doesn't smell. Those times correspond to sports practices, so she's clean after swimming or sweating.