Anonymous wrote:Right before my wedding I had a number of family members cancel due to unforeseen circumstances. I then asked some coworkers who I was friendly with if they would like to come (wedding was local), but I was upfront and honest about the cancellations, and I told them “please do not bring a gift, just come enjoy yourselves and a nice meal and open bar and some dancing!”

I’m the OP and I think this is great, I would’ve definitely come to your wedding!

Anonymous wrote:OP did she come/was she invited to your wedding? How many people were at your wedding?

I did invite her to my wedding (we invited about a hundred people) and she did not come. It was a legitimate conflict though (her fiancé’s brother’s wedding).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years back my husband 's friend called and let him know that enough family members couldn't make it that we'd made it off the B list. It made me laugh as neither guy thought there was anything weird about this conversation. We went and had a terrific time.

Good point. Men really are not this petty about life events.

They are certainly petty about other stuff, however.

Your husband's friend was upfront about it though. That made it less awkward all around.

Right before my wedding I had a number of family members cancel due to unforeseen circumstances. I then asked some coworkers who I was friendly with if they would like to come (wedding was local), but I was upfront and honest about the cancellations, and I told them “please do not bring a gift, just come enjoy yourselves and a nice meal and open bar and some dancing!”

Anonymous wrote:Of course I would attend. My ego wouldn't get in the way of someone else's happy occasion. I understand that people have to balance family obligations and dynamics - they must invite Uncle Ted to avoid family drama even if they haven't seen him in three years.

Be mindful and flexible.

Well said! OP-ED you sound like a big bay. Do the wedding couple a favor and stay home with your sorry puss attitude.

Do you like weddings? Is it in a fun place? Do you think you'd have a good time? If yes, then go. If no, send your regrets and call it a day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always feel like I'm the last person invited to a wedding. And that's FINE! Someone has to be the last invitee and I love weddings. Imma cha cha slide my way to the bar and say something embarrassing in the wedding video.

I love your attitude, I’d invite you to my wedding!

OP, go if you want to. I’m a fan of the “don’t cut off your nose to spite your face”. If you like this person & her fiancé, if you think you will have fun, go! Yes, your friend was a little tacky posting the save the date/invite on social media. We all have our flaws.

I would think about the relationship. Is this one you value and will continue? And/or will you catch up with a bunch of friends you want to see? Then go. If it’s a relationship that’s dying, then just don’t go.

I had a couple friends on our list who ended up there because we were in the same group and we had just been invited to theirs. I invited them more so my other friends didn’t think we were petty. I haven’t seen them except at other people’s events since our wedding. It is what it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be friends with her?

We were close in college, and would see each other a couple times a year - I did invite her to my wedding; but (thinking back) I guess it made sense I wasn’t invited to hers. I’m more put off by this obvious tier system because she posted multiple times about sending save the dates 9 months ago and invitations a few months back lol. I just think it’s tacky.

No you’re not. Youre putt off by the fact that you weren’t (or at least you perceive that you weren’t) a priority invite. This is standard for almost any party. Go, don’t go, just don’t blame the bride because your ego is hurt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't go... tell her why.

What purpose does this serve?

friends let each other know when they're being tacky.

If you want to go, go.

If you dont, dont go.

You're not obligated one way or the other.

I agree B List is tacky except if it's to add on plus ones.

OP did she come/was she invited to your wedding? How many people were at your wedding?

Anonymous wrote:A few years back my husband 's friend called and let him know that enough family members couldn't make it that we'd made it off the B list. It made me laugh as neither guy thought there was anything weird about this conversation. We went and had a terrific time.

Good point. Men really are not this petty about life events.

They are certainly petty about other stuff, however.

Anonymous wrote:I always feel like I'm the last person invited to a wedding. And that's FINE! Someone has to be the last invitee and I love weddings. Imma cha cha slide my way to the bar and say something embarrassing in the wedding video.

I love your attitude, I’d invite you to my wedding!

OP, go if you want to. I’m a fan of the “don’t cut off your nose to spite your face”. If you like this person & her fiancé, if you think you will have fun, go! Yes, your friend was a little tacky posting the save the date/invite on social media. We all have our flaws.

Anonymous wrote:If you don't go... tell her why.

What purpose does this serve?

If you don't go... tell her why.