Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 14:25     Subject: Re:Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:State that you would like to get married at the courthouse next week.

If you separate now, you’ll get child support and that’s it.


So I would get child support? This seems unclear to me because I’m not married.


Child support is purely about supporting the kid. It doesn't matter whether or not the parents are married (that's alimony). Even a one night stand has to pay child support if paternity is proven through a blood test.


This
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 14:24     Subject: Re:Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Anonymous wrote:State that you would like to get married at the courthouse next week.

If you separate now, you’ll get child support and that’s it.


She will get child support regardless.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 14:23     Subject: Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Anonymous wrote:You are not entitled to anything.

You are a fool.

You know this already.



+1

I can’t believe you got yourself into this situation. You are not entitled to anything.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 14:16     Subject: Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Watch the show Maid
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 14:16     Subject: Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Sensing a second family somewhere out there.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 14:15     Subject: Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
OP, I recognize you from other threads you've written before. Honestly, you are not engaged to be married after 8 years. A 2-year engagement with a wedding date is a stretch; 8 years is a fantasy. You are the mother of one of his children and his current live-in companion.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 14:08     Subject: Re:Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Op here. Appreciate all the replies. Even the unkind ones. I am the one who put myself in this awful situation. Now I’ve got to crawl out.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 14:07     Subject: Re:Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:State that you would like to get married at the courthouse next week.

If you separate now, you’ll get child support and that’s it.


So I would get child support? This seems unclear to me because I’m not married.


You absolutely 100% will get child support, but no property or “marital funds” as you are unmarried.

What matters the most to you? Can you get a job?


She would get child support for ONE child…

She has 3 children.

And she wouldn’t even get to keep the car she drives because it’s in his name. She would have no transportation and no housing since he owns the house she lives in. Even the most generous child support would still leave her VERY financially vulnerable.

I am curious. What’s the custody situation with the older children? Is their dad involved? Does he pay child support? Is he in the same state?


I have full custody. He pays child support monthly.

I have talked to my fiancé and when I tell him I’m not happy he tells me to leave. He has told me to leave on several occasions. Agree I’m trapped and could be homeless soon.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 13:37     Subject: Re:Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have a master’s degree. When I moved to this state, over 10 years ago, I had a horrible time finding a job. I ended up taking a minimum wage job for a few years. When I became pregnant he told me I could quit. That was over 7 years ago.


Op here again. I’m so out of touch with technology and am awful with computer programming and I feel so scared to go back to the workplace.

You don’t have the luxury of feeling scared and doing nothing about it. Get back in touch with technology (using the same Al Gore’s internet you’re on right now) and get a job. You have 3 minor children for goodness’ sake woman!
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 13:36     Subject: Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You may be entitled to "palimony" depending on which state you're in, and for sure child support.

Because you have a child together, you may not be able to move to another state.

Go talk to a lawyer, OP. Then you can move forward with a clear mind.

Seriously, OP, talk to a lawyer! You need to know your rights first. But you are right in your instinct that you need to take action. Maybe also talk to a therapist to get a sounding board. But lawyer first!


Talk to a lawyer BUT for the love of god, pay in cash and cover your tracks.

You're basically one argument away from homelessness.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 13:36     Subject: Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
You sound trapped. He likely did this by design. Do what you must do to become independent.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 13:34     Subject: Re:Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:State that you would like to get married at the courthouse next week.

If you separate now, you’ll get child support and that’s it.


So I would get child support? This seems unclear to me because I’m not married.


You absolutely 100% will get child support, but no property or “marital funds” as you are unmarried.

What matters the most to you? Can you get a job?


She would get child support for ONE child…

She has 3 children.

And she wouldn’t even get to keep the car she drives because it’s in his name. She would have no transportation and no housing since he owns the house she lives in. Even the most generous child support would still leave her VERY financially vulnerable.

I am curious. What’s the custody situation with the older children? Is their dad involved? Does he pay child support? Is he in the same state?
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 13:33     Subject: Re:Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have a master’s degree. When I moved to this state, over 10 years ago, I had a horrible time finding a job. I ended up taking a minimum wage job for a few years. When I became pregnant he told me I could quit. That was over 7 years ago.


Op here again. I’m so out of touch with technology and am awful with computer programming and I feel so scared to go back to the workplace.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 13:31     Subject: Re:Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Op here. I have a master’s degree. When I moved to this state, over 10 years ago, I had a horrible time finding a job. I ended up taking a minimum wage job for a few years. When I became pregnant he told me I could quit. That was over 7 years ago.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 13:30     Subject: Engaged 8 years. I am 50.
Anonymous wrote:You may be entitled to "palimony" depending on which state you're in, and for sure child support.

Because you have a child together, you may not be able to move to another state.

Go talk to a lawyer, OP. Then you can move forward with a clear mind.

Seriously, OP, talk to a lawyer! You need to know your rights first. But you are right in your instinct that you need to take action. Maybe also talk to a therapist to get a sounding board. But lawyer first!