Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 13:01     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again. I think it sounds self-centered and juvenile. Like they are not aware that THEIR mom isn’t “Mom” to everyone they are talking to. My children probably referred to me as “Mom” when talking to other people when she was 2 because to her it was my whole identity. But by the time she was 3 she was aware that most people also have someone they call “Mom,” so she switched to “my mom” when referring to me. I think adults who have never made that switch have some peculiar perspective-taking flaw going on.


Let's unpack this. You know, and they know, that you have different moms. Yet you're indignant that they're not referencing the existence of your mom by differentiating her from their own mom, in a statement about their mom, and that's proof that they're self-centered.

You're essentially yelling "what about MY mom" in your head the whole time they're talking their mom (and then going online to yell "but what about MY mom" at us), simply because they called her mom and not "my mom"? This is truly not how most people engage in conversations.

I say "my mom", btw.


I don’t feel indignant. I feel judgmental of their brand of innocent narcissism.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:58     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
Anonymous wrote:OP again. I think it sounds self-centered and juvenile. Like they are not aware that THEIR mom isn’t “Mom” to everyone they are talking to. My children probably referred to me as “Mom” when talking to other people when she was 2 because to her it was my whole identity. But by the time she was 3 she was aware that most people also have someone they call “Mom,” so she switched to “my mom” when referring to me. I think adults who have never made that switch have some peculiar perspective-taking flaw going on.


Let's unpack this. You know, and they know, that you have different moms. Yet you're indignant that they're not referencing the existence of your mom by differentiating her from their own mom, in a statement about their mom, and that's proof that they're self-centered.

You're essentially yelling "what about MY mom" in your head the whole time they're talking their mom (and then going online to yell "but what about MY mom" at us), simply because they called her mom and not "my mom"? This is truly not how most people engage in conversations.

I say "my mom", btw.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:58     Subject: Re:What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
Its weird. Even weirder, my godmother used to refer to her parents as Mommy and Daddy to non-related people. In her 40s and 50s.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:56     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
Anonymous wrote:With your siblings? Don't think anything at all.

Doing this with everyone else? Weird. Really weird. Like there's something stunted about them.


Sure, referring to your SHARED parents as Mom and Dad is completely normal. That’s not the weird thing.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:53     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
OP again. I think it sounds self-centered and juvenile. Like they are not aware that THEIR mom isn’t “Mom” to everyone they are talking to. My children probably referred to me as “Mom” when talking to other people when she was 2 because to her it was my whole identity. But by the time she was 3 she was aware that most people also have someone they call “Mom,” so she switched to “my mom” when referring to me. I think adults who have never made that switch have some peculiar perspective-taking flaw going on.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:49     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Mom is just a name in this usage, not a relationship signifier. If they were talking to a stranger, they would say "my mom" but to someone they know it's just "mom", in the same way I would tell a friend I can't make the event because "Jack has a baseball game" but someone who doesn't know my kid would get "my son has a baseball game".


This is OP. I have never met the dads of these people.


Why would you need to? These people only have 1 dad. You know who they are talking about whether you know what they look like or not.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:48     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
With your siblings? Don't think anything at all.

Doing this with everyone else? Weird. Really weird. Like there's something stunted about them.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:46     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
Anonymous wrote:Mom is just a name in this usage, not a relationship signifier. If they were talking to a stranger, they would say "my mom" but to someone they know it's just "mom", in the same way I would tell a friend I can't make the event because "Jack has a baseball game" but someone who doesn't know my kid would get "my son has a baseball game".


This is OP. I have never met the dads of these people.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:46     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
Anonymous wrote:This is one of the most petty posts I’ve seen on the family relationship forum in a long time, and that’s saying a lot.

I've been around dcum for awhile and this has been discussed here before. It was petty then, too.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:45     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
Anonymous wrote:It’s a variation of normal.

I use father and mother, husband, son and daughter. I’m sure it feels weird to people who already know who they are. It’s probably because I am a formal sort of person.

The people who use Dad and Mom are usually more casual. It feels natural, unforced, and perfectly fine. Sometimes I wish that came naturally to me!



Um you’re missing the point. It’s not about father versus dad. It’s about dad versus my dad.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:44     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
I am completely confused. If a person is talking about mom, what more clarification is needed?
They might say Josh's mom if they are not talking about their mom.
What a hugely weird post.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:43     Subject: Re:What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
Anonymous wrote:I’m one of these people! I never would have noticed, but a friend pointed it out once. She said it was funny, but I wonder if I was getting on her nerves. It’s completely unconscious—like someone said, I think I sort of just treat Mom as a name.


Yes by funny she meant strange.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:41     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
My SIL does it and I think it makes her sound like a loser.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:36     Subject: Re:What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
I find it weird as well, OP.

The only person I would think would use just Mom or Dad in a conversation with you would be a sibling, but I know people who say Mom/Dad when they mean their parent, not mine. It's not that I can't figure out what they mean, it just strikes me as odd.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2024 12:12     Subject: What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”
Anonymous wrote:Mom is just a name in this usage, not a relationship signifier. If they were talking to a stranger, they would say "my mom" but to someone they know it's just "mom", in the same way I would tell a friend I can't make the event because "Jack has a baseball game" but someone who doesn't know my kid would get "my son has a baseball game".


Exactly.

To answer OP, I make nothing of it. This is minor, a non-issue, nothing to notice. It's not something I personally do, but truly, nothing to spend time thinking about.