Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he joined the school's STEM/STEAM club? At least he's smart enough to know an average player is not a good player. You should be honest with yourself about that and be careful with team placement when there are people like that potentially lowering his self confidence. It can be very damaging.

With so many people posting how athletic their kids are I have a feeling a lot of people over estimate their kid's skills.

Sports has become a big business, a massive money maker. That doesn’t mean everyone has to sign up for it. If he was an average player, which would mean he was somewhere in the middle of the pack, then he wouldn’t be a target. Is it recreational sports?

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

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Anonymous wrote:Has he joined the school's STEM/STEAM club? At least he's smart enough to know an average player is not a good player. You should be honest with yourself about that and be careful with team placement when there are people like that potentially lowering his self confidence. It can be very damaging.

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

They'll knock it off if I push them, but there's a certain amount of skepticism that it hurts peoples' feelings, and my kids are considered pretty nice. All of which is to say that maybe the boys aren't down on your son that much--they're just being jerks and feeding off each other, and maybe he could have fine relationships with them in smaller numbers if he wanted.

Kids can indeed be dumb and annoying. I'm sorry your son was feeling so sad, but I'm really glad you let him cry and get it out. Most of the time when mine are upset, they just want someone to affirm their feelings.

Anonymous wrote:This is what happens in middle school when there’s no homework or academic expectations and all the focus is on ECs, largely sports. It’s even worse now than before because everyone thinks they are hot shit when school has so little demands. In the old days there were at least groups that focused and competed on academics that your son could be part of.

I would recommend considering transferring to a G&T program somewhere.

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

They'll knock it off if I push them, but there's a certain amount of skepticism that it hurts peoples' feelings, and my kids are considered pretty nice. All of which is to say that maybe the boys aren't down on your son that much--they're just being jerks and feeding off each other, and maybe he could have fine relationships with them in smaller numbers if he wanted.

Kids can indeed be dumb and annoying. I'm sorry your son was feeling so sad, but I'm really glad you let him cry and get it out. Most of the time when mine are upset, they just want someone to affirm their feelings.

Anonymous wrote:All of your kids sound like magnet STEM kids who are stuck with normies. They are being picked on because they are high achievers.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm sorry your son is struggling. That's really hard as a parent.

I will say, though, that I think the trash talking among boys especially is pretty universal, even if it's not right, and it can target anything, not just academics and STEM.

Keep trying to encourage connections where you can. But I'd also suggest avoiding commentary about smarts over sports. Putting another entire category of talent down is not okay, either....

Anonymous wrote:All of your kids sound like magnet STEM kids who are stuck with normies. They are being picked on because they are high achievers.

Anonymous wrote:My ds is 9 and already dealing with this, I agree it is awful. These boys treat each other so terribly and it’s all very much based on whatever a few kids decide is the most compelling “currency”. I’m hopefully that ds will find some nice friends but he’s really struggling. There are days when he doesn’t want to go to school at all because of the bullying behavior of the other boys.
Sorry I don’t have any advice, just solidarity.

Anonymous wrote:This is what happens in middle school when there’s no homework or academic expectations and all the focus is on ECs, largely sports. It’s even worse now than before because everyone thinks they are hot shit when school has so little demands. In the old days there were at least groups that focused and competed on academics that your son could be part of.

I would recommend considering transferring to a G&T program somewhere.