Three pages of posters who don’t know the difference between jealousy and envy, yet think that their kid should have gotten into a better school…..

Yes because I know a lot of people with kids with hooks and it seems unfair that their kids go to great schools because they are legacies/their parents donate a lot/ have the resources and talent to get recruited for a sport. If there is a kid who I think is truly deserving, then I am happy for them.

The word is envious people, not jealous.

Anonymous wrote:No.

I don't want the things most people here want. I think big state schools suck for undergrad, and I'm secretly thrilled DC doesn't have a shot at College Park. I'm jealous, maybe a little, of people whose kids are going to Chicago or Williams or Swarthmore... but I don't have that kind of kid. I have the 60-110 US News &World Report kid.

I have also come to realize this is the tranche of American schools I like the most.

Yes! Me too! Surprised me.

Anonymous wrote:No, not about college entries for some reason!

It's the exact feeling of some parents driving a Lamborghini vs my beat-up BMW or new Rav4.
Don't get me wrong, I will think wow look at that Lamborghini for sure!

But I love my beat-up BMW and enjoy driving the Toyota Rav4 just good enough.

No, not about college entries for some reason!

Not there yet, kid is just a junior, but honestly? sure. Especially if the kid is a jerk. I do think that would burn. But c’est la vie!

Anonymous wrote:No because that one that got into Ivy really truly deserved it and we knew it from the time the kids were like 10 years old. And at least for our year, the acceptances Made Sense. There was Ivy level, then Georgetown, then USC, then BC, then UMiami …. And literally it all made sense based on the resumes, grades, classes, scores, etc. It was the opposite in a way of the crapshoot that everyone talks about.
Now if the Umiami kid got into Georgetown, and the Georgetown kid was WL or rejected, I wouldn’t be jealous, I’d be raging mad.

This is very strange.

No.

I don't want the things most people here want. I think big state schools suck for undergrad, and I'm secretly thrilled DC doesn't have a shot at College Park. I'm jealous, maybe a little, of people whose kids are going to Chicago or Williams or Swarthmore... but I don't have that kind of kid. I have the 60-110 US News &World Report kid.

I have also come to realize this is the tranche of American schools I like the most.

Anonymous wrote:Not jealous. Sometimes anxious about the American economy, and how my kids will fare given the widening chasm between haves and have-nots.

Same!

Happy for the kids that are successful but jealous that my kid isn’t there yet and that she’s having a hard time making sense of it all.

Of course people are jealous of great college outcomes, just as people are jealous of great spouses, great wealth, great connections, and great vacations.

However, I’d make a caveat: to be jealous, the item/issue has to be desired and somewhat within reach, yet out of reach. For example, some might think that owning a jet would be great. And, if you have $100 million or a billion, it probably is. But, even if you have $10 million, a jet mostly sucks your money while it sits in the hangar. I’d prefer to fly first class in a commercial jet whenever I want. I just don’t travel that much and would prefer a really nice home.

Relating that to college, if your kid is personally awesome, but has a B average and 1100 SAT, Harvard isn’t close. So, if a friend's kid gets into Harvard, and the student is amazing, the admission seems well earned, but nothing your kid could have remotely dreamed about. So, no jealousy.

Finally, college is one course in life. There are spouses, inheritances, employers, investments, etc. Just because a kid gets into Harvard doesn’t mean they’ve won all that life offers.

Anonymous wrote:Jealous of the fat financial aid package my divorced friend is expecting to get for her kid after being admitted to Princeton, but practicing saying (and thinking) "good for you!"

In case the double-income parents don't know, it's incredibly difficult for kids from divorced families to end up in ivy schools. A single-parent household is not a hook because all the forces are against these children' success in life. You will rarely see kids from divorced families at ivies.

Another myth is single-parent kids get the "fat" FA package. Schools get financial info from both parents. They calculate EFC for each parent - and add them together. This despite the fact that there are 2 households with double expenses.

- divorced parent with an ivy kid.

Anonymous wrote:Not jealous. Sometimes anxious about the American economy, and how my kids will fare given the widening chasm between haves and have-nots.

Same. Genuinely happy for kids and definitely don’t compare though.

Anonymous wrote:My DS will be lucky to graduate from high school and will have to do some community college before he can get into a 4 year school. So yeah, I feel some jealousy. He’s not lacking in ability, it’s mental health. But I have to remind myself to love the kid I have, not the one I thought I would have.

He is lucky to have a mom like you. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. There’s no telling how far he’ll go, so celebrate him.