Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP but I have two co-workers who kept their infants at home for a full year while working full-time without any additional help (other than two WFH parents). One of them said she couldn't find childcare, the other one one said her mom was living with them (mom was definitely not living with them, we had mutual friends).

It’s like you are sad that two moms actually got to spend time with their infants!
No work is as important as this. And if they left work they would have a hard time going back because of policies that are hostile to mothers (and to everyone frankly with all the endless interviews).
I am glad infants are getting quality care instead of being in daycares

Then these moms need to quit and be SAHMs.

Compare PTO usage rates before and after WFO, excluding extended/vacations.

The abuse is blatant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think housing has gotten so expensive that people are stretched super-thin. They can’t afford childcare so they try to wfh without it.

Was waiting for you to show up. Surprised you haven't blamed the boomers for this, too.

I was talking with a younger colleague last week. They're paying over $5000 a month between rent and childcare (we're not in DC) and I couldn't believe it. My kids are all older, but I have no idea how people manage with costs like that. I know how much he makes and his salary alone isn't enough to cover that.

Most don’t pay that much. They move to lower costs areas or don’t pay for the highest cost centers.

But yes, it’s not uncommon for rent and daycare to cost more than one salary. That was true when I had my kids 15 years ago. In fact, my daycare alone was more than my salary. Thankfully daycare is temporary and my salary increased over time. If you were lucky enough not to find yourself in that position, it’s more likely a function of having a higher salary at a younger age than time.

I raised my kids in the aftermath of the Great Recession. That sucked for my cohort.

Anonymous wrote:Housing is only expensive for people who bought a first time home in last two years.

People who are remote don’t even need to live on an expensive area

People with child care issues are normally two income literally making double many people. They have the funds to pay for child care.

It is really people don’t want to work, use vacation days or spend their going out or vacation money on child care.

Nothing wrong asking but don’t expect people to believe it.

*people with childcare issues are normally 1 income. Guess that varies with workplace

I went to the mall to return some things on Friday afternoon and the parking lot was full!! I did wonder how many of these people were WFH.

That isn’t allowed in most work places. But I also wonder why you being a mom of two is relevant.

Anonymous wrote:Parents who WFH aren’t just working 9:00-5:00. They are working before and after kids sleep.

MYOB

Some are. Some are not. Some are abusing WFH and company telework/childcare requirements. I am not going to mind my own business because these abuses will impact my kids and my employees.

I am a manager that provides as much flexibility as possible to working parents. But I am 100% against those who abuse WFH, including those who violate company regulations about core hours without notice, because they strip my ability to be flexible.

Good for you if you are not abusing the privileges and flexibility set forth by your company. You aren’t the target of OP’s concerns. But we can and are permitted to be concerned about WFH abuse, whether it’s some lazy, white 60+ year old coasting to retirement and refusing to learn new technology or a 32 year old new parent who disappears during core hours and blows deadlines because they refuse to pay for childcare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP but I have two co-workers who kept their infants at home for a full year while working full-time without any additional help (other than two WFH parents). One of them said she couldn't find childcare, the other one one said her mom was living with them (mom was definitely not living with them, we had mutual friends).

It’s like you are sad that two moms actually got to spend time with their infants!
No work is as important as this. And if they left work they would have a hard time going back because of policies that are hostile to mothers (and to everyone frankly with all the endless interviews).
I am glad infants are getting quality care instead of being in daycares

+1 agree maybe this will help end some of the teenagers running around committing crimes while the parents are at work. Over time I think this will be a better system

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think housing has gotten so expensive that people are stretched super-thin. They can’t afford childcare so they try to wfh without it.

Was waiting for you to show up. Surprised you haven't blamed the boomers for this, too.

I was talking with a younger colleague last week. They're paying over $5000 a month between rent and childcare (we're not in DC) and I couldn't believe it. My kids are all older, but I have no idea how people manage with costs like that. I know how much he makes and his salary alone isn't enough to cover that.

Parents who WFH aren’t just working 9:00-5:00. They are working before and after kids sleep.

MYOB

Housing is only expensive for people who bought a first time home in last two years.

People who are remote don’t even need to live on an expensive area

People with child care issues are normally two income literally making double many people. They have the funds to pay for child care.

It is really people don’t want to work, use vacation days or spend their going out or vacation money on child care.

Nothing wrong asking but don’t expect people to believe it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any parents skipping daycare but know several who gave up afterschool care (and they can definitely afford it). They also take an hour each day (outside of lunch) to pick their kids up at school and walk them home (but still log off at 5-5:30).

It’s frustrating to see as someone with kids who does the right thing, but I don’t work for their employers. If these are your coworkers, complain if it’s impacting you. Otherwise just smile politely when they complain about not getting raises or watch as their career stall.

Maybe it’s time to reevaluate priorities and see that a walk with your kids is more meaningful than achieving some made up goals at work.
Unless you are a doctor or teacher or someone like that, your job can wait

Don’t be stupid or disingenuous. Nobody gives a flying F if you are picking your kids up at school if you aren’t (1) saying you are not available for a meeting or delaying a deadline to do so or (2) are making up that time somewhere else. But the clean implication from the post is that these folks are not making up the time.

Making up all these excuses for those who abuse telework is going to hurt parents in the long run. I am really lost on how so many women fail to see that. The only reason I can come up with is that they are the ones intentionally abusing the situation and really don’t give a crap how it affects others.

I want parents to have flexibility that I did not have raising my kids. But just as some people abused telework during the pandemic and created scenarios where others need to RTO, so to will these parents hamper progress on by abusing WFH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any parents skipping daycare but know several who gave up afterschool care (and they can definitely afford it). They also take an hour each day (outside of lunch) to pick their kids up at school and walk them home (but still log off at 5-5:30).

It’s frustrating to see as someone with kids who does the right thing, but I don’t work for their employers. If these are your coworkers, complain if it’s impacting you. Otherwise just smile politely when they complain about not getting raises or watch as their career stall.

I am sort of like this, except I start my day at 7 AM, frequently eat at my desk, and only take 20-30 minutes for pickup, so I'm definitely working a minimum of 8 hours a day. My 9 year old just wants to come home and veg on the couch until I'm done work. I don't see how this is abusing WFH. Maybe you don't see your coworkers logging on super early to make up time.

Well with all those caveats it certainly sounds like you are not abusing WFH and should probably be slightly annoyed with those that are, and whose actions could jeopardize your flexibility.

Yet one more thread OP? You are relentless. Are you not getting the validation you obviously crave elsewhere?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most jobs are BS paper pushing anyway. If we're talking a lawyer missing filing deadlines, that's a different story.

Lawyers don’t have to miss deadlines to be a problem. I’ve seen more than one lazy gov lawyer tell their boss they are too busy to take on new cases, and then play candy crush all day. The new cases then go to the lawyers who already have a pile of work that they are actually doing.

When I was a newly minted gov lawyer (back in the days of 100% in office) one of the first things my mentor told me was to take a minimum of two weeks to reply to any email from outside our department, otherwise we would just get asked more and more. I did not listen and eventually became that go to helpful person everyone came to because I got things done whether it was my assignment or not. I came to regret that.