Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who think addiction is normal? Never met any of those.

Here’s how that sounds: If I don’t buy Larla or Larlo alcohol/drugs in high school, then they won’t know how to handle social life in college”.

Careful, you are dating yourself

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family full of recovering addicts here- here is my take.

Alcoholism runs in my family. As a child, I watched my parents throw parties, over consume and continue on with their lives.

As I aged, I saw the self-destructive behavior and wanted no parts of it. My relationship with alcohol is complicated. For a long time, I felt guilty and self conscious consuming any form of alcohol. Today, I consume when I want without restrictions, but out of preference usually only have 1-2 drinks per month or indulge on special occasions.

As a parent, I'm hyper aware of how I consume alcohol around my kids. I've made the choice to normalize drinking as something that can be a social activity.

That being said, we've allowed the kids (13 &16) to have sips of our drinks on occasion.

Our now 16 year old has zero interest in drinking on his own. We've expressed to him that he's allowed to have 1 drink with us on special occasions. We don't encourage it at those times, but we do have active conversations about drinking and it's effects in the moment.

Our 13 year old is highly interested in alcohol and this is where it gets tricky. We don't want his curiosity to cause him to hide his drinking as he ages.

I'll be honest, I don't know how I'm going to approach high school and party's with my 13 year old. Too much restriction and he will rebel, too little and I'll be to blame.

Part of me wants to control the situation and likes the idea of introducing alcohol to him in a controlled environment. The other part of me knows how insane that sounds.

All this to say, I understand OP's question, it's not black or white.

The law is pretty black and white! Well, you can change the color of the font, but it is very clear that it is ILLEGAL to give alcohol to a minor.

Pretty sure that was a troll.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. There’s no justification. It is a red herring.
I am trying to understand why parents allow kids to throw parties and either turn a blind eye to alcohol use and abuse and/or supply it.

Why isn’t there massive parental community backlash against this?

The backlash is not letting your child go to the party or hang out with the kids whose parents do this. You hear about someone’s mom or dad storming into a party and grabbing their kid or confronting a reckless parent but it’s not super common.

If another parent provides my kid with alcohol you'd better be aware I will file a police report because it is illegal. Same if you hit my kid or molest my kid, etc. It is my job to protect them - yours too. Do your job as a parent!

🙄

Anonymous wrote:Family full of recovering addicts here- here is my take.

Alcoholism runs in my family. As a child, I watched my parents throw parties, over consume and continue on with their lives.

As I aged, I saw the self-destructive behavior and wanted no parts of it. My relationship with alcohol is complicated. For a long time, I felt guilty and self conscious consuming any form of alcohol. Today, I consume when I want without restrictions, but out of preference usually only have 1-2 drinks per month or indulge on special occasions.

As a parent, I'm hyper aware of how I consume alcohol around my kids. I've made the choice to normalize drinking as something that can be a social activity.

That being said, we've allowed the kids (13 &16) to have sips of our drinks on occasion.

Our now 16 year old has zero interest in drinking on his own. We've expressed to him that he's allowed to have 1 drink with us on special occasions. We don't encourage it at those times, but we do have active conversations about drinking and it's effects in the moment.

Our 13 year old is highly interested in alcohol and this is where it gets tricky. We don't want his curiosity to cause him to hide his drinking as he ages.

I'll be honest, I don't know how I'm going to approach high school and party's with my 13 year old. Too much restriction and he will rebel, too little and I'll be to blame.

Part of me wants to control the situation and likes the idea of introducing alcohol to him in a controlled environment. The other part of me knows how insane that sounds.

All this to say, I understand OP's question, it's not black or white.

The law is pretty black and white! Well, you can change the color of the font, but it is very clear that it is ILLEGAL to give alcohol to a minor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. There’s no justification. It is a red herring.
I am trying to understand why parents allow kids to throw parties and either turn a blind eye to alcohol use and abuse and/or supply it.

Why isn’t there massive parental community backlash against this?

The backlash is not letting your child go to the party or hang out with the kids whose parents do this. You hear about someone’s mom or dad storming into a party and grabbing their kid or confronting a reckless parent but it’s not super common.

If another parent provides my kid with alcohol you'd better be aware I will file a police report because it is illegal. Same if you hit my kid or molest my kid, etc. It is my job to protect them - yours too. Do your job as a parent!

Danger danger? 🙄

Family full of recovering addicts here- here is my take.

Alcoholism runs in my family. As a child, I watched my parents throw parties, over consume and continue on with their lives.

As I aged, I saw the self-destructive behavior and wanted no parts of it. My relationship with alcohol is complicated. For a long time, I felt guilty and self conscious consuming any form of alcohol. Today, I consume when I want without restrictions, but out of preference usually only have 1-2 drinks per month or indulge on special occasions.

As a parent, I'm hyper aware of how I consume alcohol around my kids. I've made the choice to normalize drinking as something that can be a social activity.

That being said, we've allowed the kids (13 &16) to have sips of our drinks on occasion.

Our now 16 year old has zero interest in drinking on his own. We've expressed to him that he's allowed to have 1 drink with us on special occasions. We don't encourage it at those times, but we do have active conversations about drinking and it's effects in the moment.

Our 13 year old is highly interested in alcohol and this is where it gets tricky. We don't want his curiosity to cause him to hide his drinking as he ages.

I'll be honest, I don't know how I'm going to approach high school and party's with my 13 year old. Too much restriction and he will rebel, too little and I'll be to blame.

Part of me wants to control the situation and likes the idea of introducing alcohol to him in a controlled environment. The other part of me knows how insane that sounds.

All this to say, I understand OP's question, it's not black or white.

Anonymous wrote:You’re looking for a study to justify giving alcohol to teens?

+1 Such a weird question, OP. You want us provide studies to justify your personal point of view?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who think addiction is normal? Never met any of those.

Here’s how that sounds: If I don’t buy Larla or Larlo alcohol/drugs in high school, then they won’t know how to handle social life in college”.

Seriously? Pathetic

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This generation of "parents" is more interested in being liked by their kids. Hence, more interested to provide alcohol, and in some cases, get bombed w/them.

I've also heard parents say they want their kids to be liked.

Great, great pt.

My DC was at a Freshman Homecoming party at St. Andrew's and the parents had provided alcohol. Needless to say, we have forbidden or DC to go over that house again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This generation of "parents" is more interested in being liked by their kids. Hence, more interested to provide alcohol, and in some cases, get bombed w/them.

I'm Gen X and this is nothing new. There were definitely parents who were allowing teens to have parties with alcohol in their home.

Yes, there have always been loser parents. True.
Not as many then though.

Just because a child may try something, it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be punished/disciplined for it. Underage drinking is against the law, but just saying you can’t stop it and letting your kids carry on, you are condoning law breaking. Please think about the message you are sending your kids, I.e. if you don’t like a law, you don’t have to follow it.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a fan of parents who are permissive about young alcohol (or weed) use.

There are many kids who can use a few times and walk away. There are kids who will become addicted and have their life go completely sideways. I absolutely believe that there are people who just have a genetic (not necessarily hereditary but genetic) tendency towards addiction. You really don't know how your kid stands in this regard until they grow up and start trying (or not) addictive substances.

Best to stay away as much as possible in the young years.

True, but you are living in a fantasy world if you think the only thing stopping your kids from drinking is the fact that you don’t condone it. My kids know that we don’t approve. They also know that we aren’t stupid and that they will drink or experiment just like most people did when they were teenagers. They know that drinking and driving is a non- starter and they have a free pass to call us anytime day or night if they need a ride. We aren’t trying to be their friends. They know that. But we also aren’t going to bury our heads in the sand and play dumb. Signed -Mom of two teenagers.

Anonymous wrote:Parents who think addiction is normal? Never met any of those.

Here’s how that sounds: If I don’t buy Larla or Larlo alcohol/drugs in high school, then they won’t know how to handle social life in college”.