Anonymous
Post 01/20/2024 09:11     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
Anonymous wrote:My brother and his wife once shipped me 10 empty plastic diet coke bottles with crochet covers and a dollar store black ball as a "bowling set" for our 4 year old's Christmas gift. They were heavily into environmental recycling at the time.
They tried something similar for his birthday gift and me/ wife took it back to post office and refused delivery, had it marked " return to sender".
We have gone none contact with them for about 5 years now.


Maybe it's just me, but your return to sender response was over the top. And going no contact speaks to a much deeper issue in the relationship.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2024 09:01     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if this was passive aggressive or just a last minute dash. A classmate gave a wrapped STEM subscription box for my kid’s birthday. Not a subscription, but a single box that was clearly the birthday guest’s.


That’s actually a great gift.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2024 08:11     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
My brother and his wife once shipped me 10 empty plastic diet coke bottles with crochet covers and a dollar store black ball as a "bowling set" for our 4 year old's Christmas gift. They were heavily into environmental recycling at the time.
They tried something similar for his birthday gift and me/ wife took it back to post office and refused delivery, had it marked " return to sender".
We have gone none contact with them for about 5 years now.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2024 08:06     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
I do this to my sister but it benefits my niece and nephew. My sister is an over the top minimalist who wants the same values for her kids. Nothing new, no brand names, nothing expensive. She’s very anti brand name anything. It’s not about finances.

I enjoy sending them nice expensive presents. They like it and it is totally passive aggressive to my sister. I just sent them late New Years presents out of the blue. Think along the lines of the trendy sneakers teens want. I always ask the kids first or have my own kids check to see what’s currently in.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2024 07:59     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
Anonymous wrote:At age 18, after I visibly lost a TON of weight and dropped from a size 10 to a size 4, one of my best friends gave me a swim suit that was a size 14.

And no, 30 years later, I have NOT regained all the weight. I go between a 4 and a 6.


I’ve heard some “friends” don’t take it well when a person they know loses weight. Ugh.

Congratulations to you!!

Anonymous
Post 01/20/2024 07:57     Subject: Re:S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
My sociopathic boss gave my alcoholic coworker a bottle of wine for Christmas.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2024 18:18     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A potted orchid as a threat.


Huh?


My horrible neighbor have me a potted orchid and then hung the most annoying windchime right up next to our property line.


NP

I don’t get the problem with the potted orchid either. Is this a reference to a movie or something else? I gave my neighbor a poinsettia for Christmas. I hope she wasn’t offended.


I don't get it either. Orchids are pretty.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2024 17:54     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
When we had kids, once the became toddlers, BIL gave all kidns of noisy gifts: musical instruments (toys, not real ones), electronics that beeped and buzzed, etc.

It made me nuts, until spouse explained those were the kinds of gifts he gave BILs kids when they were that age (I wasn't in the picture then).
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2024 16:39     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When DH and I were dating, his parents gave me an alcohol related gift every Christmas and would comment "we know how much you like to drink." I don't drink because of alcoholism in my family. I would comment that I don't drink but it would be great to have on hand when we host. Many years later and we get along great now.

My mom will ask what I want and then buy it for me in a close variation or color I won't like. This year I suggested a brand of pajamas that had about 20 different colors to choose from. She handed it to me saying "I know you hate lilac, but here you go." WTH? If she knew I hated the color, why not choose one of the 19 other colors?


OMG. This is truly awful and bizarre. Was it because one color was on sale and mom couldn’t pass up the deal? I would disown DH’s parents. You have such a great attitude, though.


My parents do a variation of this. More like, “I know you don’t like this color, but I loved it and it would be great on you, so I’m giving you this.” Every present is about what they want and not what I want. It is very bizarre.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2024 16:24     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
Every year, at their request, I provide clothing sizes to DH'S mom and sister (size XS/S, no wool because I'm allergic). I usually receive, from both of them, a wool sweater in either XL or XXL. There is never a gift receipt so they just get donated.

I don't think it's passive aggressive, they just simply don't give a shit. (Or who knows, maybe I look 60 pounds heavier than I am). SIL likely shops for both of them and grabs the first thing she sees. Meanwhile, I always make sure DH picks thoughtful gifts for them and usually buy them additional items because he is cheap.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2024 15:03     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
Anonymous wrote:When DH and I were dating, his parents gave me an alcohol related gift every Christmas and would comment "we know how much you like to drink." I don't drink because of alcoholism in my family. I would comment that I don't drink but it would be great to have on hand when we host. Many years later and we get along great now.

My mom will ask what I want and then buy it for me in a close variation or color I won't like. This year I suggested a brand of pajamas that had about 20 different colors to choose from. She handed it to me saying "I know you hate lilac, but here you go." WTH? If she knew I hated the color, why not choose one of the 19 other colors?


OMG. This is truly awful and bizarre. Was it because one color was on sale and mom couldn’t pass up the deal? I would disown DH’s parents. You have such a great attitude, though.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2024 14:51     Subject: Re:S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
Anonymous wrote:In elementary, when picking out Valentines for the class, I gave the mean girls in my class the cards with pictures of skunks on them. The bullies actually thought they were cute and thanked me for them. I gave up on passive aggressive gifts after that.


Lol, I admit to assisting my child with intentional Valentine's messaging.

Best ever were some Jurassic World Valentines.

Some of them were basically like: "Try not to get eaten alive."

But they were straight out of the box and the kids section.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2024 14:50     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When DH and I were dating, his parents gave me an alcohol related gift every Christmas and would comment "we know how much you like to drink." I don't drink because of alcoholism in my family. I would comment that I don't drink but it would be great to have on hand when we host. Many years later and we get along great now.

My mom will ask what I want and then buy it for me in a close variation or color I won't like. This year I suggested a brand of pajamas that had about 20 different colors to choose from. She handed it to me saying "I know you hate lilac, but here you go." WTH? If she knew I hated the color, why not choose one of the 19 other colors?


Lol!

My MIL will give me a variation of something I have but in uglier colors and a much bigger size. Like " I know you like those casual long sleeve tees from lands end for layering under sweaters. [I have one in black I must've mentioned sometime] Here's one in a hideous orange and yellow paisley in XXL." I'm a size 6 or lands end S.


She got it on clearance, probably like $6 and the last available print/size of the style she knew you liked. That's my attempt at making sense of it


Maybe she grabbed the last one on a 6/S hanger and didn’t think to check the size on the actual garment.

Maybe she ordered a small and didn’t realize someone sent the wrong size. Maybe the colors looked different on her computer screen, maybe they were the last colors listed in your size.

Maybe she actually thinks orange and yellow paisley is great. Apparently there’s at least one person who does, because someone at Land’s End liked it enough to decide to make it and sell it.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2024 14:45     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
Thank you cards from my in laws who prefer paper cards to emails and in person expressions of thanks. But only from women, men do not need to send them.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2024 14:40     Subject: S/o Passive aggressive gifts you have received (or given!)?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When DH and I were dating, his parents gave me an alcohol related gift every Christmas and would comment "we know how much you like to drink." I don't drink because of alcoholism in my family. I would comment that I don't drink but it would be great to have on hand when we host. Many years later and we get along great now.

My mom will ask what I want and then buy it for me in a close variation or color I won't like. This year I suggested a brand of pajamas that had about 20 different colors to choose from. She handed it to me saying "I know you hate lilac, but here you go." WTH? If she knew I hated the color, why not choose one of the 19 other colors?


Lol!

My MIL will give me a variation of something I have but in uglier colors and a much bigger size. Like " I know you like those casual long sleeve tees from lands end for layering under sweaters. [I have one in black I must've mentioned sometime] Here's one in a hideous orange and yellow paisley in XXL." I'm a size 6 or lands end S.


She got it on clearance, probably like $6 and the last available print/size of the style she knew you liked. That's my attempt at making sense of it