Anonymous wrote:There are some things I miss of course (sleeping in, quiet mornings with long coffees). But on the whole, I don’t miss my life before kids at all and can’t relate when people talk about how much they miss their 20s, the freedom to travel, the parties and the fun. I did that, and found all that quite meaningless.

Life with kids feels richer, fuller and more meaningful than anything before. There is day to day drudgery but I feel bursts of joy at little things my children in a way I never used to feel. I don’t see this sentiment shared very often. Anyone relate? Or was I just a boring person before kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids?

I miss the travel. I skied out west a lot, had a ski house with friends, weekends in Nantucket, Europe, etc. what used to be $1,000 now starts at $3,000. We still travel to all those places but on a much more limited basis.

Meh. We did this too - we will do it again when the kids go to college. NBD.

You will hop back on the slopes with all your friends piled into a ski house and it will be like you are all in your 20s? Even if you do it won't even remotely be the same experience. How could it be? It's fine to admit you won't experience those things again.

Here is the part you don't want to see. Yes we will do things like that, but as wealthier, more mature people. The ski house will be fully stocked with king size beds and ensuite bathrooms. Dinners will be steakhouses and fine wine versus pizza and beer. The night won't be quite as late, but the sleeping in will be worth it.

It is ok to admit that your life stopped at pregnancy, but to many of us, the younger child raising years were a mere detour.

Anonymous wrote:Posts like this are so wretched and smug. Implicit in them is that lives without kids are empty and meaningless and that being a parent makes you a superior human being.

In fact, many parents are among the most selfish people on the planet because they only think of themselves and their kids as an extension of themselves.

We have four adult children. Three are married, and two of the three have children. The third married child doesn’t want kids, and the fourth doesn’t want either to get married or have kids. All four are happy with their choices and supportive of their siblings’ choices, and we are equally proud of all four. But there is no question that the two without children are doing more to help the broader society than the two with children - or, for that matter, than we ever could because we had children ourselves.

So, bottom line: stop patting yourself on the back and stop implicitly judging everyone else. You’re not that special.

Anonymous wrote:JFC why does every thread turn into a “yuck my yum” competition. Bunch of defensive biddies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids?

I miss the travel. I skied out west a lot, had a ski house with friends, weekends in Nantucket, Europe, etc. what used to be $1,000 now starts at $3,000. We still travel to all those places but on a much more limited basis.

Meh. We did this too - we will do it again when the kids go to college. NBD.

You will hop back on the slopes with all your friends piled into a ski house and it will be like you are all in your 20s? Even if you do it won't even remotely be the same experience. How could it be? It's fine to admit you won't experience those things again.

Here is the part you don't want to see. Yes we will do things like that, but as wealthier, more mature people. The ski house will be fully stocked with king size beds and ensuite bathrooms. Dinners will be steakhouses and fine wine versus pizza and beer. The night won't be quite as late, but the sleeping in will be worth it.

It is ok to admit that your life stopped at pregnancy, but to many of us, the younger child raising years were a mere detour.

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I am in my 40s and don't have kids, and I also feel like my life is more fulfilling now than it was when I was in my 20s or early 30s. I do not miss that time. While I have some freedoms with time that a parent doesn't have, I don't have the same life now that I did 15 years ago either.

I think at least some of this feeling comes with the maturity and self assurance of aging and isn't necessarily about kids. It can be hard to disengtangle since raising kids and middle age go hand in hand for the vast majority of people.

Anonymous wrote:Ehhh. I miss traveling before we had to be on a school schedule. I miss sex whenever I wanted, anywhere I wanted. I enjoy my small humans very much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids?

I miss the travel. I skied out west a lot, had a ski house with friends, weekends in Nantucket, Europe, etc. what used to be $1,000 now starts at $3,000. We still travel to all those places but on a much more limited basis.

Meh. We did this too - we will do it again when the kids go to college. NBD.

You will hop back on the slopes with all your friends piled into a ski house and it will be like you are all in your 20s? Even if you do it won't even remotely be the same experience. How could it be? It's fine to admit you won't experience those things again.

Here is the part you don't want to see. Yes we will do things like that, but as wealthier, more mature people. The ski house will be fully stocked with king size beds and ensuite bathrooms. Dinners will be steakhouses and fine wine versus pizza and beer. The night won't be quite as late, but the sleeping in will be worth it.

It is ok to admit that your life stopped at pregnancy, but to many of us, the younger child raising years were a mere detour.