Maybe I’m an anomaly but I was born to “older” parents who married later in life (30) and had my first baby when I was 29. So when DC was born, my parents were active and healthy senior citizens, age 65. My ILs were a full decade younger: nearly teen parents.

Fast forward 25 years and my father died 8 years ago and my mom has end stage heart failure and is hospitalized. My ILs are just now hitting the wall health-wise but are still driving, doing yard work, home improvements.

I've got some friends who are grandparents in their early to mid 50s. One has a 10 year old grandchild, so in 15 years that child will be 25 and granny will be 70 and likely still active.

My mom is 85 and has five kids, who in turn had 11 grandchildren, who so far have borne 7 great grandchildren. She is active, cooks healthy meals and bakes, gardens, visits friends for coffee every morning, and even has a nice boyfriend. She walks 3 miles or so a day and eats no processed food. Her mother lived to be 101. She’s had a good life!

My Dad is 83 and slower, but he still goes for walks and even short bike rides. It’s excellent for his mobility and balance, though he makes me more nervous now.

My mom is 76 and has never been an athlete. But she never stops moving. Cooking, walking, hosting friends for dinner. She babysits the grandkids and in general has very good health.

I attribute a lot of it to inertia. Once you slow down it’s hard to restart.

When I was a kid we had a neighbor who would babysit us after school. She was in her 80s and had 7 kids and several adult grandchildren. She lived to see 4 or 5 of her great-grandchildren. She had kids young and they had kids reasonably young too. And she was a blast. I don’t know if she could have hosted a 20-person Thanksgiving dinner, but she could and did babysit my sister and me 5 days a week (mostly watching us do our homework, but still) and was fully mentally and physically healthy. She died at 87, but she had a steep decline over 3ish weeks and ended up in the hospital, where she passed. Until then she was in remarkable shape.

My siblings and I were raised by our grandmother and great grandmother, there were five generations at one time, for about ten years. Unfortunately, my grandmother passed when my youngest was six months old.

I think life, as one gets older, becomes less about "traveling the world" and more about spending time with your immediate family (who are logistically close, too). No one cares about your checked boxes, or what you were not able to do when your DH was alive. Your legacy should be how you cared for and treated your family, ideally.

Growing up, we walked to our grandmother's and cousins homes, several times per week, and we lived with our great grandmother. If you are competent and caring, that goes a long way in enriching your family, and your life. Not everyone has that.

Traveling the world is great, but not if you barely make time for your grandkids.

My grandmother (mother's mother) came out to help me with my children when my 3rd child was born. This was back in 2004 and my husband deployed to Iraq when the baby was three weeks old, and I had a 2 year old and 4 year old.

If I recall correctly, my grandmother was around 22 or 23 when she had my mom. My mom was around 26 when she had me, and I was 29 when I had my 3rd...so my grandmother was probably in her late 70s at the time.
She was a huge help with laundry and cooking and just generally keeping an eye on the kids so I could take a shower/take care of the baby.

You see fewer of these in upper middle class circles because having babies at 20 for multiple generations is incompatible with generational wealth building. Go to college and establish a good career before having babies. I think the sweet spot is 27-33.

Have kids young and stay active and engaged throughout your life. But there’s still a large element of stuff that’s outside of your control, like genetic predispositions to cancer or dementia. Or things like car accidents and falls which are worse for the elderly. My grandmother was a 79 year old GREAT grandmother to my cousin’s children. But she unfortunately suffered a fall at home at 82 and was unable to recover from a broken hip and died in the hospital.

This guy is 90:


This gal is 86:
[img]https://www.seniorzyjuniorzy.pl/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/14066243_1075644575805009_6515961428219317354_o.jpg[url]


If you live your life right and take care of yourself, which must include substantial efforts to stay strong and fit in your elder years, and you are lucky enough to avoid the random death by accident or environmental carcinogens, then it is entirely possible to be in your 90s preparing and hosting Thanksgiving dinner for your children, grandchildren and even great grandchildren.

Anonymous wrote:My mom had us at 28 and 30. So she is still very able bodied in her early 70s

That’s your mom. What about your grandparents? That is OP’s question.

My mom had us at 28 and 30. So she is still very able bodied in her early 70s

I’m 44 and my grandma just passed away at 95. 14 years ago she was still skiing, kayaking and hosting us for dinner. I feel lucky and hope my kids have kids earlier than I did (31/34).

I’m 51 and my in-laws are still fully functional and traveling the world in their 80s. My parents,also in their 80s, not so much. Getting off the couch for them is an adventure. It’s genetics and lifestyle. My parents could be more active if they actually tried.

I am the oldest cousin so I had this with my grandparents until my late 30s. My last grandparent recently passed and I am 47.