Anonymous wrote:A man is not a plan. She needs to be able to stand up on her own two feet if she expects a partner to support her. And in case, something happens with her partner, she will still be standing.

+1

A marriage is a relationship, not a life plan for economic dependency.

Of course! Part of why people go to college is to learn, to teach the brain to think in new ways, to meet a wider variety of people, etc. You get so much more out of college than just a degree that'll get you a job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming that debt or at very least, sacrifice on behalf of family is involved.
My friend, who has a postgraduate degree but quit as soon as was pregnant and never went back, tells me her daughter says she wants to be a stay at home parent, but wants to go to college 'because it's fun' and maybe she will meet someone there.
I am never at a loss for advice but I was here.

Do you need a college degree to be an internet troll? Did you minor in pot-stirring? Take all the extra time you have in your day and get a part-time job or something. You sound like a 13-year-old or an adult who is just incredibly stupid.

I don’t think she’s a troll because I spend a lot of time on TikTok and the SAHM lifestyle is heavily promoted to teen girls on that platform. Even stay at home girlfriend is a thing. That’s likely where the friend’s daughter got her idea from. It’s too bad because to catch a high earning man who can support you, you generally need to be an interesting person from my experience (in addition to having good looks) and girls who are set on being SAHMs from the get go (unlike professional women who fall into that path) tend to be pretty dull. That doesn’t help with securing marriage to high value men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. It is difficult to find a high-earning man without a college degree.

but then is the college degree obtained to make the person 'marriage quality'?

At least for the first wife. Perhaps not the trophy second, etc wives.

Anonymous wrote:Of course she should go if she's interested in going. What if she doesn't get married? Or spouse dies/leaves? Or she becomes a SAHM and hates it? Or spouse loses their job and they need to support their family?

Options are a good thing. It doesn't necessarily have to be college, but she needs a way to be financially self sufficient in case life happens. Some sort of livable career prospect needs to be on the table, and most of them involve college.

+100 And for most of the women I knew who spent time as a SAHM (including me) it was just for a season of life. They worked before kids, and went back to work later.

What about being a smarter, better educated, mom? That should be part of the calculation somewhere.

I agree it’s probably not worth going into debt for about even community college would be better than just high school, in my opinion.

Yes. She should get an education.

Without one, she’s completely dependent on a hypothetical person for her survival.

Education is never a waste.

Besides, as a practical matter, college is a great place to meet a future spouse. Family-minded guys who are interested in a SAHM setup tend to be off the market early. Nearly all the SAHMs I know met their spouses in college, grad school, or first jobs out of college.

To me, it's insane not to but I don't know their situation. I wouldn't advise anyone not related to me about their educational plans unless asked.
Most of the scant few fellow sahms I know didn't plan on this path until there was a baby in arms, work demands/bad employment prospects and/or high need for flexibility. It seems like an odd (maybe religious?) choice to have that goal set before knowing your options. I wonder if she is being influenced by some media she leans toward?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think she’s asking for advice.

op - no, fair, she wasn't - I just am one of those people who always thinks they 'have the answer' and I had nothing. which was fine.
i dont think she knows really either.

I wouldn't say anything but ... The daughter should still go to college and study something that she can fall back on in case being a SAHM doesn't work out (i.e. divorce).
Also, she is young. What she thinks she may want now may not be what she wants later. It's always good to have options

May Rihani, who formerly co-chaired the UN Girls’ Education Initiative, said that educated mothers raise educated children. The more intelligent, experienced, educated and worldly a mother is, the better, because there is so much she can teach and share with her children.

Of course she should go if she's interested in going. What if she doesn't get married? Or spouse dies/leaves? Or she becomes a SAHM and hates it? Or spouse loses their job and they need to support their family?

Options are a good thing. It doesn't necessarily have to be college, but she needs a way to be financially self sufficient in case life happens. Some sort of livable career prospect needs to be on the table, and most of them involve college.

Anonymous wrote:Assuming that debt or at very least, sacrifice on behalf of family is involved.
My friend, who has a postgraduate degree but quit as soon as was pregnant and never went back, tells me her daughter says she wants to be a stay at home parent, but wants to go to college 'because it's fun' and maybe she will meet someone there.
I am never at a loss for advice but I was here.

Do you need a college degree to be an internet troll? Did you minor in pot-stirring? Take all the extra time you have in your day and get a part-time job or something. You sound like a 13-year-old or an adult who is just incredibly stupid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. It is difficult to find a high-earning man without a college degree.

but then is the college degree obtained to make the person 'marriage quality'?

This used to be referred to as “getting your MRS”

A man is not a plan. She needs to be able to stand up on her own two feet if she expects a partner to support her. And in case, something happens with her partner, she will still be standing.