Nah. I have a propane cooktop and heater for times when the power goes out in winter. I can chop firewood and build a fire. I can navigate with a compass, fish, and shoot a deer, rabbit, or quail. But it's always better to have a partner at your side who can do all that and more. Do I NEED a man? No. But it sure is nice to have one who can get shxt done by my side.

Anonymous wrote:This whole “makes feel safe” thing is so cliche lol. Ladies for 99% of you, if ah**t goes down it’s likely that your man will not be up to the task keep it real please. Protect ya self. These modern guys walking around with big muscles etc are not going to protect you. So please drop that cliche in your view of masculine man.

Good point…you ladies don’t need no man, you are all independent women who slay queens. Defend yourselves….

Real men don't worry about what's masculine.

This whole “makes feel safe” thing is so cliche lol. Ladies for 99% of you, if ah**t goes down it’s likely that your man will not be up to the task keep it real please. Protect ya self. These modern guys walking around with big muscles etc are not going to protect you. So please drop that cliche in your view of masculine man.

Broad shoulders, smells good, can do things around the house (outdoor stuff but also other domestic chores), can change a tire, makes me feel safe and cared for, and has something about him that makes me want to have him naked most of the time.

Other traits like smarts and a sense of humor are nice but not what I consider as stereotypically masculine.

Anonymous wrote:Does penis size matter?

And classically educated man knows that a man's virility is in his testes. The penis is gauche.

Does penis size matter?

A pickup truck may be involved. Not one that never gets dirty and is used only to drive to Pilates or to your men's rights group. One that is used to haul firewood that you cut yourself, or supplies for the cabin you are building. Bonus points if it's for a deer you shot. And totally ok to drive your four-year-old daughter to dance class in, or your four-year-old son who thinks he wants to be a ballerina too. Because that is how a real man rolls.

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't this thread have people trying to explain that masculinity a social construct that doesn't really exist? Or that masculinity is a result of matriarchy that forces men into restrictive gender roles?

It seems to be women speaking about what they find attractive in men, but the "feminine woman" thread was full of women explaining what the concept of feminity is wrong, old fashioned and materialistic.

Ok, I'll bite! Masculinity is a social construct and a result of matriarchy that forces men into restrictive gender roles!

This thread has made me think about how to separate "masculinity" from "things I like about my husband," because one thing I like is that he isn't married to restrictive gender roles. He does more than his share of stuff around the house, and is an equal parent. He also doesn't worry about seeming "manly" enough, which is an insecurity I find pretty unattractive.

I wouldn't redefine those things as "good masculinity" because they aren't gender-specific, but at the same time, I appreciate that he is a good role model of a confident, competent man for our sons, who I hope will feel affirmed as men just being themselves.

On the "traditional" side, yeah, I think being able to build and fix stuff is a stereotypically masculine quality that I appreciate. It was never on my list for a partner but a handy man is good to have around!

Why doesn't this thread have people trying to explain that masculinity a social construct that doesn't really exist? Or that masculinity is a result of matriarchy that forces men into restrictive gender roles?

It seems to be women speaking about what they find attractive in men, but the "feminine woman" thread was full of women explaining what the concept of feminity is wrong, old fashioned and materialistic.

Anonymous wrote:If you’re looking in a forum of entitled suburban moms for an answer you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here. 70% of the conversations are about these women divorcing their husbands and how they hate them.

If you want to find masculinity it’s simple. Get in shape, take charge of your life, make good financial decisions and be a good role model for your kids. Not complicated.

If you’re an overweight piece of garbage who can’t even put up some curtain rods it’s time to man up. Learn another skill and trade. Stop eating crap and get in shape . Take charge of your finances. Deliver it in the bedroom like it’s your last night alive.

But trying to find advice among a group of miserable cat ladies….come on

If you’re so much better than everyone on here, why are you on here, posting?

For me, it means a guy who likes sports, knows about cars and can fix and build stuff. Physically he is on the bigger, muscular side and probably has facial and body hair. I'll admit that this is totally my type. (My current BF looks and dresses like a lumberjack and can fix just about anything.)

Anonymous wrote:Turnabout is fair play, right?

My definition includes broad shoulders, body and facial hair, a "roll up your sleeves and do what needs to be done" attitude, and a total lack of defensiveness about gender roles. Self-identifying alpha males, men who won't nurture because nurturing is feminine, etc, are not masculine. If you have to say it, you aren't.

Nailed it.
-NP

Anonymous wrote:DH is the quite reserved masculine, but when you witness it in action, swoon.

He’s a sigma; that’s even better!

Anonymous wrote:If you’re looking in a forum of entitled suburban moms for an answer you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here. 70% of the conversations are about these women divorcing their husbands and how they hate them.

If you want to find masculinity it’s simple. Get in shape, take charge of your life, make good financial decisions and be a good role model for your kids. Not complicated.

If you’re an overweight piece of garbage who can’t even put up some curtain rods it’s time to man up. Learn another skill and trade. Stop eating crap and get in shape . Take charge of your finances. Deliver it in the bedroom like it’s your last night alive.

But trying to find advice among a group of miserable cat ladies….come on

That’s a good definition. I’d add he’s someone who can solve problems and stay calm when the shit hits the fan.