I had my first at 30 and my third at 38. I thought this was a good age as I was able to enjoy life in my twenties, go to grad school, travel, etc.

My mom had me at 30 and is now 75 with a lot of health problems. If my daughter waits until 35 to have a child, I will be a 73yo grandmother.

I see some friends whose parents had them younger and the grandparents seem healthy and able to hang out and travel together. Then again, I also have friends whose parent(s) died young before even seeing their grandchildren.

Anonymous wrote:Why wait at all? first period, pump them out. That's all women are good for right? (insert eyeroll)

Wish I did that! I’d be home free right now

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, not another forum for brunch granny to berate us for choosing to have children after age 35.

tears.

I was 31. It was pretty perfect. Established enough in my job but not insane responsibility where being out on maternity leave was a huge thing like it would be for me now at 38. I had fertility issues that were not age related so I am happy I got started sooner. DH and I had been married for a few years and had outgrown the late 20s social scene. We were relatively financially stable. I bounced back pretty easy from birth.

My friends who are having their first kids at my age seem to almost all be having a really hard time going from doing whatever the heck they want to having the massive responsiblity of kids.

I adopted one at 33 and birthed one a year later at 34. If I could do it over again (but with the same kids), I’d have them maybe at 30 and 31.

I had twins a week after my 35th birthday. Worked well for me.

If I could go back I would have had them earlier. I had my first at 31. I thought it was better to wait until I was "ready" but realize now it didnt really matter, it was going to chance my life and I would have been physically better off in my 20s.

Had my first at 29 and my second at 32. Am 34 now and deciding whether to have a third. I feel old. I think 27-35 is ideal.

That said, I think kids age you no matter when you have them.

I had mine just after turning 37 and just after turning 41. Would have liked to have them earlier but so happy just to have them, it doesn’t really matter. Threads like these are so boring. It’s best to have your children when it’s right for you, whenever that is, and be thankful that you can have children.

Anonymous wrote:I’d say, despite some risks, mid thirties. You have lived a life, you likely have a career, have traveled, made some mistakes and acquired some wisdom. You are still young enough to have one or two or three!

You have a baby when you can financially afford to do so, irrespective of age!

Anonymous wrote:The problem with waiting so long is that you end up being really too old to enjoy being a grandparent. 30s is better for finances, 20s is better for life after kids.

What's with the shaming of teen parents? If you want to have kids at 40 that's fine but no need to be nasty to young mothers who make the difficult decision to keep their babies.

Yeah, and when you are younger you just dump them off at grandparents and never really learn to parent or manage your household, and then the entire family crashes when they are teens because everyone babied you throughout your young parenthood. ask me how i know

I know a lot of friends and family members that started trying in their mid-to-late 30s and had real difficulties conceiving. For some it became a huge issue and struggle. For that reason I advise everyone not to wait too long if they can avoid it.

I would say 30 to 34 is ideal.

I had my first at 32, my second at 35, my third at 37 and now my 4th at 41.

It has all felt the same to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:29-33

+1

Yes. And best age (statistically) to get married is 28-32 so best to have kids soon after that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with waiting so long is that you end up being really too old to enjoy being a grandparent. 30s is better for finances, 20s is better for life after kids.

What's with the shaming of teen parents? If you want to have kids at 40 that's fine but no need to be nasty to young mothers who make the difficult decision to keep their babies.

The hate on DCUM seems to be largely reserved for any women who has the temerity to procreate past age 40.

Oh no, I've been here for years, and the hate is equally distributed towards women who had kids in their early 20s or past 40. I had my first at 25, and had a couple of miscarriages past 40, so I noticed!!!