Our child was touched inappropriately in a private preschool and the school handled it really horribly ... based on the details of our incident I was concerned that the other child had been exposed to inappropriate touching from another child or an adult.

I asked that they let the other parent know it had been reported by my child and they refused to, stating that the child was "from a good family" whatever the heck that means. I was also told by a teacher that you can't trust what four-year-olds say because 4yos lie all the time ... and I was super uncomfortable with that line of thought as well.

We pulled our child and when we looked for a new school we asked questions like: how do you handle an incident of inappropriate touching? What rules do you have about children being alone, or an adult and child being alone? etc.

It is very telling when a school doesn't have a policy or says that their families are all "good families" so they don't worry about this stuff (hint: run in the other direction).

With school age kids I think it isn't unusual for CPS to be involved to interview kids and kind of make sure that everyone is safe. Maybe there's a way to find out about how that works.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea as to the nature of the touching, so will not comment on that. But I will say that I could tell this was a private from the get-go. Here’s the deal. An adult should have been properly supervising the children. The school messed up because no one was watching the kids. That’s because many private elementary school teachers just aren’t up to scratch. Instead of watching the children, they’re setting them up and then talking about feelings and consequences down the road, while leaving the parents in the dark. I personally would not sue, but you do what feels right to you.

Go public. You will be shocked by how much better it is.

NP and at our public kids go to the bathroom in small groups so this could in theory happen there too.

Yes, but public school teachers are better trained and usually have much better benefits. Because of this, they pay better attention to whom they are sending together in small groups. A lot of private schools these days have this kumbaya attitude of “we’re all friends” and “we can work it out” through conversation and more interactions. Whereas, public schools might involve a guidance counselor and classroom support to stop bullying, but will otherwise separate the bully from his/her target.

I’ve had kids in both public and private, I can assure you that inappropriate touching is much, much more likely to happen at a private.

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea as to the nature of the touching, so will not comment on that. But I will say that I could tell this was a private from the get-go. Here’s the deal. An adult should have been properly supervising the children. The school messed up because no one was watching the kids. That’s because many private elementary school teachers just aren’t up to scratch. Instead of watching the children, they’re setting them up and then talking about feelings and consequences down the road, while leaving the parents in the dark. I personally would not sue, but you do what feels right to you.

Go public. You will be shocked by how much better it is.

NP and at our public kids go to the bathroom in small groups so this could in theory happen there too.

Yeah, you should report and press charges. Someone in that kid's house was watching porn and they are not careful about it.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/jan/10/children-now-biggest-perpetrators-of-sexual-abuse-against-children