OMG YES! I'm 58 now and this was one of the things that surprised me in life. I fall so hard and deeply, when you're in it, it's impossible to imagine not feeling that way, or that the torture of the loss will ever end.

It will! As long as you don't indulge in the torture (like, drive by their place of work, or go through old photos or snoop on them online). That prolongs the pain and thwarts the healing process.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be honest.

Forget they exist entirely, no.

Go years without thinking about them at all, yes.

This. Had two significant relationships before dh. Wouldn’t mind catching up with the first one, my college boyfriend. We became friends after the romantic relationship ended.

I feel much less amicably about the guy after that, the one who sucked up most of my twenties. No desire to catch up there and can easily go years without thinking of him at all. That wouldn’t have been true before I met my now-dh. But my marriage really put those thoughts behind me.

No

Absolutely. I was with my high school and college sweetheart for 7 years. We were engaged and we lived together for 4 years. Sometimes I go years without thinking about him. He never crosses my mind randomly. We were madly in love but in the end, just not perfect and I left him. I’m very happily married. I never reminisce over things we’d done and we had a good relationship. We had an album of love letters and I couldn’t bring myself to trash it. I thought maybe when I’m ancient I might enjoy looking back, but I never have.

Friends I grew up with ask me still about him and I honestly have no idea where he lives, what state, what he does for a living. I know he married.

Hasn’t happened so far, think of them every day, just 3 degrees off from a mansion.

I think about all my exes from time to time. Some I'm still friends with, although I don't see them very often. That includes one that had a relatively easy breakup, and one that was very, very hard, but somehow amicable. A third had a breakup that was both hard and ugly. We tried to get along due to mutual friends, but it eventually blew up and we cut off all contact. I ran into her parents and siblings a few times over the years, but there's been no direct or indirect contact in 20 years.

I do think about get fairly regularly. She was a big part if my life for 5+ years, and even now it feels a little strange that it ended like that. Early on there was quite a bit of anger. And then, when that died off, a little bit of wondering about "what if." But it really didn't take terribly long for it to mostly turn into "wtf". Maybe a year.

I probably had more "what if" thoughts withn the amicable, but hard, breakup. But I actually think staying in contact with her made me feel much better about it over the years, seeing that we were meant to go different places.

Anonymous wrote:My post college boyfriend broke my heart HARD. I was hung up on him for about three years, but pushed myself to move on and date. I am an emotional, social person and probably thought about him daily for 5-7 years. 15 years later I don’t think of him often, maybe a few times per year. My male college buddy who I had major feelings for but never acted on, but alluded to and was rejected, I still think of daily.

This is close to my experience too. When I do think about him, I think back to when I thought I would never get over him and how weird it is that I never think about him anymore. He’s been married twice and has no kids. He seems lonely to me so if anything I feel a little sorry for him.

Before my husband I only had one real love right out of college but he broke my heart and it took a long time for me to get over him. Meeting my DH was the cure and he ended up having a sad life with a couple of marriages and he passed away two years ago. I certainly haven’t forgotten him but I’m glad he’s just a memory.

Anonymous wrote:Be honest.

No. Looking back they were just crushes due to proximity not real loves.

Yes, totally possible!

My post college boyfriend broke my heart HARD. I was hung up on him for about three years, but pushed myself to move on and date. I am an emotional, social person and probably thought about him daily for 5-7 years. 15 years later I don’t think of him often, maybe a few times per year. My male college buddy who I had major feelings for but never acted on, but alluded to and was rejected, I still think of daily.

I mean, for one person I think of every day.

Some of them I don’t even know their names

Anonymous wrote:Be honest.

Forget they exist entirely, no.

Go years without thinking about them at all, yes.

I can’t believe I actually felt I loved two other guys before I met my husband. But it wasn’t real love. I haven’t forgotten them but I’m so glad I didn’t end up with either of them.