Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem really pushy OP
If you feel this way, just don't ask them or ask all ahead of time. I hate pushy people who rush others. Your imaginary deadline isn't anyone's issue. It's yours

Not op but how long does it take to decide whether to see a movie? She gave them an hour advance notice? And do you really need to hem and haw over the chick fil a menu????

I never decide to see a movie in an hour’s time. Ever.

You are my people op. I avoid perpetually difficult friends/ family. Occasionally is fine and understandable but some people have issues EVERY SINGLE TIME and I don't know how they function in life.

Team OP. We keep the world spinning for those afflicted with aboulomania.

My take is that it is actually attention-seeking.

They love having people wonder what they’ll do, whether they’ll condescend to participate, whether they’ll bless a plan with their presence. Oh please, grandma, come to the movies with us…

This is confirmed by the microbiologist or whatever. Every meal is super important and must be treated like a trip to Komi. Every day is super special and wide open and full of possibility (never mind that some days have boring constraints like kid birthday parties or karate practice). Yes, yes, you’re curing cancer.

Anonymous wrote:Yep, team OP.

Same.

My DH is the same way. He can’t do anything spontaneously. Everything - even a small outing - has to be planned in advance. It also takes him ages to get out the door.

After all these years, the only explanation I can come up with like a previous poster mentioned is it’s tied to his anxiety and control.

I think these people must not be understanding that you've actually made a decision, not so much throwing an idea out. If you've already decided to see Migration, it's not "do you feel like seeing a movie today?" They think there's room to negotiate or come up with alternatives. For indecisive people, maybe your language needs to be more direct without question marks.

And yet you have the time to write a big long post..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, I couldn't live with you either. I am a perfectionist sort of person who married another perfectionist sort of a person and we had perfectionist kids. It's a wonder we can get anything done! But when we do, we're happy and the quality is great

We're research scientists, BTW.
If ever you get cancer, you'll be reassured to know that the people who worked on your treatment didn't go: "Eh what the heck, Molecule A is practically the same as Molecule B: just throw whichever in the mix. DONE!"

It takes all kinds, right?

Well, certainly, but some of us know the difference between working on cancer treatments and getting tired, hungry kids some fast food as requested by the birthday girl on the way home from an excursion. I’m not rushing anyone along when ordering at a fine dining establishment. There is an art to knowing when to be a perfectionist and when to go with the flow. I think it’s a valuable skill. -OP

"Going with the flow" is forcing your choices onto them (which place to eat) and (a movie) then forcing them to decide on the spot YOUR choice.

Did you not get that the Chick-fil-A was chosen by a birthday kid? Did you miss the part where the specific movie was requested by kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, I couldn't live with you either. I am a perfectionist sort of person who married another perfectionist sort of a person and we had perfectionist kids. It's a wonder we can get anything done! But when we do, we're happy and the quality is great

We're research scientists, BTW.
If ever you get cancer, you'll be reassured to know that the people who worked on your treatment didn't go: "Eh what the heck, Molecule A is practically the same as Molecule B: just throw whichever in the mix. DONE!"

It takes all kinds, right?

Well, certainly, but some of us know the difference between working on cancer treatments and getting tired, hungry kids some fast food as requested by the birthday girl on the way home from an excursion. I’m not rushing anyone along when ordering at a fine dining establishment. There is an art to knowing when to be a perfectionist and when to go with the flow. I think it’s a valuable skill. -OP

"Going with the flow" is forcing your choices onto them (which place to eat) and (a movie) then forcing them to decide on the spot YOUR choice.

My mom is like OPs husband but its an overall issue with her anxiety and control problems. I try to make the choices simpler for her. "mom they have sandwiches and nuggets. Which do you want and do you want grilled or fried?". I've found that cutting out a lot of the options makes a huge difference. If I'm taking her out to eat, I don't ask what she's in the mood for. I ask if she wants Italian, sushi, or seafood and then I choose the restaurant from there. It's not a perfect system but I've found it helps quite a bit.

Yep, team OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem really pushy OP
If you feel this way, just don't ask them or ask all ahead of time. I hate pushy people who rush others. Your imaginary deadline isn't anyone's issue. It's yours

Please explain how giving people more than an hour to decide whether they want to see a specific movie is “rushing” them.

You're smart enough to figure this out, OP.

I’m an attorney, and I’m not smart enough to figure this out. Would you please explain it to me? There’s not a desire to see any movie, there is a desire to see a specific movie. An hour is long enough to read the description of the movie, and even to find the trailer on YouTube. Between reading a review or two and watching a trailer, what else do you need to make a decision? Especially if it is essentially a decision whether to spend time with your grandkids doing something they are excited about.

I’m 100% with OP. How some people make it through the day without being able to make basic decisions is beyond me.

Anonymous wrote:You seem really pushy OP
If you feel this way, just don't ask them or ask all ahead of time. I hate pushy people who rush others. Your imaginary deadline isn't anyone's issue. It's yours

I’m not OP, but how do you get anything done? A movie starts at a set time. That’s not an imaginary deadline. If you show up 40 minutes late, they don’t restart it from the beginning for you.