My dad moved on really fast and not with someone we liked. My sibling and I don't have a close relationship with him, and he was terrified of being alone with his thoughts. To each their own. It's not my place to dictate how someone mourns.

This happened with my cousin, who was in her 40s and died really suddenly. I have actually seen this a lot with men. I think many of them throw themselves in a new relationship to avoid dealing with grief. It is very hard for those around them though. My cousin’s widow, for example, has lost his relationship with his 21 year old daughter because she was so upset by how fast he moved on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DW. Been happily married for 18 years. I don't want anyone but my husband. But if something happened to him, I wonder how long I could last before I am paralyzed by loneliness. I'm used to him always being there. I think it would be the same for him.

We have agreed though, to never trust anyone new with our assets. They are all going to our disabled kid.

In Relationships, whenever a divorced dad talks about making sure his kids inherit his assets rather than a new wife getting them, the women chime in with “why would a woman marry you if she’s not going to inherit your money after you die, reeeeeeee.”

I have never in my entire life heard anyone end a sentence with "reeeeeeee." What does reeeeeeee mean?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He had had the new girlfriend on deck for awhile. If not more than on deck.

People always underestimate the elderly, lol.

OP again.
Whatever the case may be, I think it must be hurtful for my cousin's adult children.
I get that the husband doesn't want to be alone for the remaining years of his life, but 3 weeks after the funeral feels way too soon. And if he'd already had someone new lined up he could at least have made an effort to hide it for a little longer, for the sake of her children.

For another perspective, I got too much information from my grandfather. My grandmother was dying of cancer, and she made a plan and actually picked out who my grandfather should date after she died. That's who he picked. He told me that there were so many women after him in his condo, that he had no choice but to make a selection rapidly and make it clear. So, in his case, it was something that he and his partner actively wanted, and it was a move to fend off other suitors. Unfortunately, eligible old men are scarce, I guess.

I wish that my relative would find companionship. Loneliness sucks.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DW. Been happily married for 18 years. I don't want anyone but my husband. But if something happened to him, I wonder how long I could last before I am paralyzed by loneliness. I'm used to him always being there. I think it would be the same for him.

We have agreed though, to never trust anyone new with our assets. They are all going to our disabled kid.

In Relationships, whenever a divorced dad talks about making sure his kids inherit his assets rather than a new wife getting them, the women chime in with “why would a woman marry you if she’s not going to inherit your money after you die, reeeeeeee.”

My FIL had a new relationship very quickly after MIL died. We don't know exactly when they started "dating" because they are intentionally vague about it, but they were engaged within four months.
They were in their early 60s at the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father was off on a tropical vacation with my mother's friend about 6 weeks after mom's death. He declared it his best vacation ever, including all the ones he took with us kids.

Was that aberrant behavior for him or is he typically self centered and casually cruel?

He's died now. That was another big mess with my siblings.

Anonymous wrote:He had had the new girlfriend on deck for awhile. If not more than on deck.

People always underestimate the elderly, lol.

OP again.
Whatever the case may be, I think it must be hurtful for my cousin's adult children.
I get that the husband doesn't want to be alone for the remaining years of his life, but 3 weeks after the funeral feels way too soon. And if he'd already had someone new lined up he could at least have made an effort to hide it for a little longer, for the sake of her children.

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine, but this is why you have to be absolutely sure to protect your assets for your kids to inherit. Because otherwise they will go to some random lady’s kids instead of yours.

New PP. This happened to a friend of ours. Mom passed away, dad married a gold digger, dad passed away soon after, his considerable fortune went to gold digger and her family, friend and her siblings got zip zero nothing.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DW. Been happily married for 18 years. I don't want anyone but my husband. But if something happened to him, I wonder how long I could last before I am paralyzed by loneliness. I'm used to him always being there. I think it would be the same for him.

We have agreed though, to never trust anyone new with our assets. They are all going to our disabled kid.

Recommend you do what the pp above mentioned and create trusts. As someone currently helping a family member navigate a nightmare scenario with a very unexpected untimely death and a disabled child, you just really can’t predict the future and having a trust already set up is so so helpful.

I'm a DW. Been happily married for 18 years. I don't want anyone but my husband. But if something happened to him, I wonder how long I could last before I am paralyzed by loneliness. I'm used to him always being there. I think it would be the same for him.

We have agreed though, to never trust anyone new with our assets. They are all going to our disabled kid.

Anonymous wrote:My sister hooked up with my mother's long-term boyfriend after mom was paralyzed by a stroke and had to living in a nursing home.

Just wow and ew all @ once.

Anonymous wrote:My father was off on a tropical vacation with my mother's friend about 6 weeks after mom's death. He declared it his best vacation ever, including all the ones he took with us kids.

I’m so sorry, that must’ve been so hard to hear.

Anonymous wrote:Let's remember that there is a population of older women who are more than happy to pick up the widower ASAP. It's not only the man who raises eyebrows sometimes.

Yeah, people seem to be putting too much blame on him. He's 81. The pool of eligible men in that age bracket is low -- it's probably 10-1 women to men. He's a hot commodity on the elderly dating scene.

There's a reason there have been outbreaks of the clap in retirement villages. The few able-bodied elderly men do very well with all the women pining after them, and they're from a generation that never had much educated about preventing STDs.