Anonymous wrote:Yes of course its so rude not to!

Nope. Learn the rules of etiquette.

Anonymous wrote:Of course they do

Omg little Mary or John can not sit for a few minutes and do this !

Not only is this the right thing it prepares them for life

This is not a hard thing to do. You people are lazy parents

You are impressively wrong. Dislodge the stick, MeeMaw.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course its so rude not to!

It’s not though. If the gift was given, opened, and the giver was thanked in person, a thank you note is not required. Thank you notes are the substitute for when thanking someone in person after opening the gift in person isn’t possible. They’re not meant to reinforce an in person thank you or to double down and thank people multiple times.

Can you not see how important it is to teach your kids this skill?

Of course you should have them do it, OP. it is for the KIDS's sake, not the grandparents or other recipients.

Don't listen to all of the lazy mothers here.

You’re saying to teach kids not to follow the rules of etiquette so they can be polite. Also, by writing thank you notes in appropriate situations, my kids learned to write thank you notes properly AND when they needed to write them. It seems like the lazy parents are the ones who apply blanket rules when unnecessary to avoid teaching their kids that there are different rules for different situations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Thank you notes are not necessary when you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them at that time.

Yes, actually, they are. And you are doing your kids a disservice by not teaching them this.

It’s not a disservice to teach my kids correct etiquette. They write thank you notes for gifts not opened in person. If you thank someone in person, a thank you note is not required.

Says who? You?

Put it this way: many people will judge your kids, and by extension, judge you, for not teaching them to write thank you notes. There is no harm in doing so, even if the giver was verbally thanked. So, why not teach them to go the extra mile and stand out from the sea of ingrates?

People who know etiquette. It’s the standard etiquette rule.

Someone could misunderstand any rule and judge my family based on their ignorance, but I’m not going to demand my children do things incorrectly to make adults feel good about their lack of knowledge. If a thank you note is needed, we’re on it. But the OP’s hypothetical does not require a thank you note based on standard etiquette. You might demand one and judge people for not doing it, but that’s a you problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Thank you notes are not necessary when you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them at that time.

Yes, actually, they are. And you are doing your kids a disservice by not teaching them this.

It’s not a disservice to teach my kids correct etiquette. They write thank you notes for gifts not opened in person. If you thank someone in person, a thank you note is not required.

Says who? You?

Put it this way: many people will judge your kids, and by extension, judge you, for not teaching them to write thank you notes. There is no harm in doing so, even if the giver was verbally thanked. So, why not teach them to go the extra mile and stand out from the sea of ingrates?

NP. I don’t think teaching my kids that they need to bow and scrape to feed the ravenous and ever-unsatisfied egos of manipulative gift-givers is a healthy lesson. They need to learn to identify and stand up to people who aren’t satisfied with a gracious in-person thank you. I am okay with them being judged by people like that. In fact, I consider that a win. It means that that I’ve taught them healthy boundaries and the ability to recognize manipulative people.

Of course, my kids write thank you notes to people who did not give the gift in person, and they graciously thank givers in person. But writing an extra note for someone who demands more than that? No. That’s bad manners from the gift giver that my kids need to learn not to indulge. No child should be taught that a gift-giver who is having a temper tantrum should be catered to.

Miss Manners says no need for a note if the gift is given in person and thanks are expressed in person. But there’s no harm in having your kids practice doing thank you notes if it means a lot to your mother. But it sounds like your mother is not a reasonable person, since you called her narcissistic. So just show her the page from Emily Post or Miss Manners that says notes aren’t required.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Thank you notes are not necessary when you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them at that time.

Yes, actually, they are. And you are doing your kids a disservice by not teaching them this.

It’s not a disservice to teach my kids correct etiquette. They write thank you notes for gifts not opened in person. If you thank someone in person, a thank you note is not required.

Says who? You?

Put it this way: many people will judge your kids, and by extension, judge you, for not teaching them to write thank you notes. There is no harm in doing so, even if the giver was verbally thanked. So, why not teach them to go the extra mile and stand out from the sea of ingrates?

I would rather my kids write nice letters to grandparents about what they’re doing and how school is going. We especially don’t write them if gifts were given in person.

I do write thank you cards for weddings and baby gifts. But the baby gift one sent me over the edge. I didn’t have a baby shower because my best friend was serving overseas and family doesn’t throw showers because it’s impolite. So I got hundreds of baby gifts when my first was born. Postpartum depression and sleep deprivation made it really hard to write all those. I daydreamed about giving back gifts so I didn’t have to write another card.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Thank you notes are not necessary when you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them at that time.

Yes, actually, they are. And you are doing your kids a disservice by not teaching them this.

It’s not a disservice to teach my kids correct etiquette. They write thank you notes for gifts not opened in person. If you thank someone in person, a thank you note is not required.

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Thank you notes are not necessary when you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them at that time.

Yes, actually, they are. And you are doing your kids a disservice by not teaching them this.

Of course not. Thank you notes are not necessary when you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them at that time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course its so rude not to!

It’s not though. If the gift was given, opened, and the giver was thanked in person, a thank you note is not required. Thank you notes are the substitute for when thanking someone in person after opening the gift in person isn’t possible. They’re not meant to reinforce an in person thank you or to double down and thank people multiple times.

Can you not see how important it is to teach your kids this skill?

Of course you should have them do it, OP. it is for the KIDS's sake, not the grandparents or other recipients.

Don't listen to all of the lazy mothers here.

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course its so rude not to!

It’s not though. If the gift was given, opened, and the giver was thanked in person, a thank you note is not required. Thank you notes are the substitute for when thanking someone in person after opening the gift in person isn’t possible. They’re not meant to reinforce an in person thank you or to double down and thank people multiple times.

Yes of course its so rude not to!

Yes, it is much appreciated and takes little time and effort.