Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sorry to hear this and I know it must be extra difficult since everyone always says that “you’re safe after you see the heartbeat” too.

I've lost many after seeing their heartbeats several times. So I, obviously, don't believe that BS anymore. I understand the stats but for some people it's very common to lose pregnancies like this.

OP here: it was super unexpected, because the baby’s heartbeat was strong and it measured right on target at the ultrasound. No cause was determined at the hospital, it just stopped growing. But the hospital sheet said too much exercise or caffeine could contribute to the miscarriage and now I’m wondering if I overdid it.

Never heard of this. I am sorry OP.

I didn’t know either. My mom said it wasn’t my fault but then this sheet had “Lifestyle Contributing to Threatened Miscarriage” and it listed excessive exercise and caffeine (also nicotine and drugs, but I don’t take those). I had been walking a lot as exercise and drank coffee daily so now I’m wondering what that meant. Like can a healthy baby become unviable because of too much coffee? Or is it like a borderline healthy baby was pushed over the edge by exercise? I’m sorry I sound morbid, I’m just trying to understand.

No, OP. I'm sorry about the m/c. The hospital should not be handing out misinformation like that-nothing you did caused it. You weren't doing anything excessive, and I'm not certain what the sheet calls 'excessive' even is (other than the illicit substances). Women have done physical labor throughout history and carried pregnancies.

I've had 3 m/c's myself, two after I saw the heartbeat. I've also had 6 healthy babies. Truly, what causes the vast majority of m/c's is something wrong chromosonally with the pregnancy. And with technology now, we know we are pregnant much earlier than in the past-in past times, a woman might think, oh I 'missed' a month of period but it finally came. In today's day, she would probably know she was pregnant and had a m/c.

Again, I'm sorry. Please take care and the time you need to rest and recover.

I’m so sorry, OP.

I’m so sorry, OP. I don’t know why the idiot hospital sheet said that, but you going for walks or drinking a coffee did NOT cause this. Miscarriages at your stage just happen. I’m sure hyper advanced testing that may not even exist would show some kind of developmental problem with the fetus so the process stopped. I have been there. The mental trick that helped me was realizing that Frances Bean Cobain was born healthy so external factors don’t mean much at all.

Take care of yourself, and go easy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sorry to hear this and I know it must be extra difficult since everyone always says that “you’re safe after you see the heartbeat” too.

I've lost many after seeing their heartbeats several times. So I, obviously, don't believe that BS anymore. I understand the stats but for some people it's very common to lose pregnancies like this.

OP here: it was super unexpected, because the baby’s heartbeat was strong and it measured right on target at the ultrasound. No cause was determined at the hospital, it just stopped growing. But the hospital sheet said too much exercise or caffeine could contribute to the miscarriage and now I’m wondering if I overdid it.

I don’t believe the stats on this and wonder if they are old (ie, from a time before early monitoring was common or early ultrasounds we’re routine). I m/c after a “nice strong heartbeat” and so did every one of my closest friends. In fact none of us in our friend group had m/c (that we know of) WITHOUT having a good heartbeat first. Definitely don’t blame yourself, it’s incredibly common in my experience and although very sad, just one of those things. We all went on to have normal pregnancies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sorry to hear this and I know it must be extra difficult since everyone always says that “you’re safe after you see the heartbeat” too.

I've lost many after seeing their heartbeats several times. So I, obviously, don't believe that BS anymore. I understand the stats but for some people it's very common to lose pregnancies like this.

OP here: it was super unexpected, because the baby’s heartbeat was strong and it measured right on target at the ultrasound. No cause was determined at the hospital, it just stopped growing. But the hospital sheet said too much exercise or caffeine could contribute to the miscarriage and now I’m wondering if I overdid it.

Never heard of this. I am sorry OP.

I didn’t know either. My mom said it wasn’t my fault but then this sheet had “Lifestyle Contributing to Threatened Miscarriage” and it listed excessive exercise and caffeine (also nicotine and drugs, but I don’t take those). I had been walking a lot as exercise and drank coffee daily so now I’m wondering what that meant. Like can a healthy baby become unviable because of too much coffee? Or is it like a borderline healthy baby was pushed over the edge by exercise? I’m sorry I sound morbid, I’m just trying to understand.

This is not your fault, OP. Daily walks and coffee didn't do it. Please don't go down the hole of blaming yourself. I've been there, and it is a pointless misery, I promise.

+1. Marathoners carry to term, OP - women who run 10, 20, 30 miles a day. Women who drink caffeine and smoke and do drugs carry to term too. This was not your fault.

Unfortunately this just happens. It's happened to many of us. Nearly always there is something wrong with the fetus, an incompatibility with life. Occasionally, as a PP noted, it may be something in your body, but that is very rare (though I too was part of that crowd) and not something to jump to unless you've had several miscarriages in a row. In any event if it were that rare scenario, it still would not be anything you are doing or anything under your control. It's pretty hard to dislodge a viable pregnancy, whereas many non-viable pregnancies dislodge themselves at early stages. It's why many people don't announce until the second trimester, because hearing the heartbeat at 7, 9, 10 weeks is great but not determinative.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sorry to hear this and I know it must be extra difficult since everyone always says that “you’re safe after you see the heartbeat” too.

I've lost many after seeing their heartbeats several times. So I, obviously, don't believe that BS anymore. I understand the stats but for some people it's very common to lose pregnancies like this.

OP here: it was super unexpected, because the baby’s heartbeat was strong and it measured right on target at the ultrasound. No cause was determined at the hospital, it just stopped growing. But the hospital sheet said too much exercise or caffeine could contribute to the miscarriage and now I’m wondering if I overdid it.

Never heard of this. I am sorry OP.

I didn’t know either. My mom said it wasn’t my fault but then this sheet had “Lifestyle Contributing to Threatened Miscarriage” and it listed excessive exercise and caffeine (also nicotine and drugs, but I don’t take those). I had been walking a lot as exercise and drank coffee daily so now I’m wondering what that meant. Like can a healthy baby become unviable because of too much coffee? Or is it like a borderline healthy baby was pushed over the edge by exercise? I’m sorry I sound morbid, I’m just trying to understand.

Oh OP I'm so sorry. Please note the "excessive" part of the hospital information. Walking and normal amounts of coffee are not excessive. I totally understand the desire to find a why for what happened and maybe one day you will discover something specific about your body. Keep in mind that if you do find a biological reason, it's most likely something that you cannot control, not something trivial like walking.

But most likely, this was just simply a common miscarriage. I know hearing how common it is doesn't help the immediate hurt. I encourage you to try and view your miscarriage as if it were happening to a dear friend. Would you be looking to blame her and find out what she did wrong? Probably not. Try and have the same compassion and grace that you'd have for a friend for yourself. I know, easier said than done.

Mostly, it's just hard. It's going to be hard for a while.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sorry to hear this and I know it must be extra difficult since everyone always says that “you’re safe after you see the heartbeat” too.

I've lost many after seeing their heartbeats several times. So I, obviously, don't believe that BS anymore. I understand the stats but for some people it's very common to lose pregnancies like this.

OP here: it was super unexpected, because the baby’s heartbeat was strong and it measured right on target at the ultrasound. No cause was determined at the hospital, it just stopped growing. But the hospital sheet said too much exercise or caffeine could contribute to the miscarriage and now I’m wondering if I overdid it.

Never heard of this. I am sorry OP.

I didn’t know either. My mom said it wasn’t my fault but then this sheet had “Lifestyle Contributing to Threatened Miscarriage” and it listed excessive exercise and caffeine (also nicotine and drugs, but I don’t take those). I had been walking a lot as exercise and drank coffee daily so now I’m wondering what that meant. Like can a healthy baby become unviable because of too much coffee? Or is it like a borderline healthy baby was pushed over the edge by exercise? I’m sorry I sound morbid, I’m just trying to understand.

Oh my gosh, no, and it’s crazy the hospital would provide this bad info. Please talk to your OB as they will give you much better and more research backed information. Coffee and exercise do NOT cause miscarriages

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sorry to hear this and I know it must be extra difficult since everyone always says that “you’re safe after you see the heartbeat” too.

I've lost many after seeing their heartbeats several times. So I, obviously, don't believe that BS anymore. I understand the stats but for some people it's very common to lose pregnancies like this.

OP here: it was super unexpected, because the baby’s heartbeat was strong and it measured right on target at the ultrasound. No cause was determined at the hospital, it just stopped growing. But the hospital sheet said too much exercise or caffeine could contribute to the miscarriage and now I’m wondering if I overdid it.

Never heard of this. I am sorry OP.

I didn’t know either. My mom said it wasn’t my fault but then this sheet had “Lifestyle Contributing to Threatened Miscarriage” and it listed excessive exercise and caffeine (also nicotine and drugs, but I don’t take those). I had been walking a lot as exercise and drank coffee daily so now I’m wondering what that meant. Like can a healthy baby become unviable because of too much coffee? Or is it like a borderline healthy baby was pushed over the edge by exercise? I’m sorry I sound morbid, I’m just trying to understand.

This is not your fault, OP. Daily walks and coffee didn't do it. Please don't go down the hole of blaming yourself. I've been there, and it is a pointless misery, I promise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sorry to hear this and I know it must be extra difficult since everyone always says that “you’re safe after you see the heartbeat” too.

I've lost many after seeing their heartbeats several times. So I, obviously, don't believe that BS anymore. I understand the stats but for some people it's very common to lose pregnancies like this.

OP here: it was super unexpected, because the baby’s heartbeat was strong and it measured right on target at the ultrasound. No cause was determined at the hospital, it just stopped growing. But the hospital sheet said too much exercise or caffeine could contribute to the miscarriage and now I’m wondering if I overdid it.

Never heard of this. I am sorry OP.

I didn’t know either. My mom said it wasn’t my fault but then this sheet had “Lifestyle Contributing to Threatened Miscarriage” and it listed excessive exercise and caffeine (also nicotine and drugs, but I don’t take those). I had been walking a lot as exercise and drank coffee daily so now I’m wondering what that meant. Like can a healthy baby become unviable because of too much coffee? Or is it like a borderline healthy baby was pushed over the edge by exercise? I’m sorry I sound morbid, I’m just trying to understand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That happened to me with both my pregnancies that led to kids. Both times I went to the ER: the first time, I was told to rest and monitor at home. The bleeding stopped rapidly. The second time, the ER doc told me I was miscarrying, and gave me a pill to help it along. I did not take it, the bleeding stopped soon after, and that baby is 13 years old now.

However, I've had two miscarriages that also started like this at around 9 weeks and where the bleeding became heavy (as in, filling more than a large overnight pad every two hours), with cramps, for multiple days.

So at this point you just don't know, and you need to rest and hydrate. Best of luck to you!!!

Wow!!! The doc told you to take a pill without confirming it wasn’t viable?

Correct. She was a young doctor, a little overwhelmed that evening, and I even wondered whether she'd got me confused with the other pregnant woman who was in the ER at the same time as me. It was a very strange interaction.

I know this was long ago but I do hope you complained at the time. That is not OK.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sorry to hear this and I know it must be extra difficult since everyone always says that “you’re safe after you see the heartbeat” too.

I've lost many after seeing their heartbeats several times. So I, obviously, don't believe that BS anymore. I understand the stats but for some people it's very common to lose pregnancies like this.

OP here: it was super unexpected, because the baby’s heartbeat was strong and it measured right on target at the ultrasound. No cause was determined at the hospital, it just stopped growing. But the hospital sheet said too much exercise or caffeine could contribute to the miscarriage and now I’m wondering if I overdid it.

Never heard of this. I am sorry OP.

Anonymous wrote:Update: it was a miscarriage. I went to the ER and the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. It had no heartbeat. I’m on pain meds and passing clots and feeling sad. Thanks.

I am sorry. I will always remember the thanksgiving morning I spent in the ER confirming a miscarriage. It was a sad week and I felt so spent and tired and I hated bleeding through the holiday

I got pregnant with my daughter very shortly after though, and I hope things work out for you too. But take the time you need if you need it. Hugs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sorry to hear this and I know it must be extra difficult since everyone always says that “you’re safe after you see the heartbeat” too.

I've lost many after seeing their heartbeats several times. So I, obviously, don't believe that BS anymore. I understand the stats but for some people it's very common to lose pregnancies like this.

OP here: it was super unexpected, because the baby’s heartbeat was strong and it measured right on target at the ultrasound. No cause was determined at the hospital, it just stopped growing. But the hospital sheet said too much exercise or caffeine could contribute to the miscarriage and now I’m wondering if I overdid it.

I hope that you never join the club that I'm in, but I've lost many, very viable and chromosomally normal pregnancies and was not exercising or drinking caffeine the last time.

Turns out about 3 years ago I suddenly developed 1) rare clotting disorder that only kills fetuses 2) serious immune dysfunction (elevated NK cells) and none of my doctors were able to identify these issues. I still don't know if I'll ever carry to term, but now I know that my body is killing my babies.

I’m so sorry. The same thing happened to me years ago right before Christmas. It sucked. I was so sad but I got pregnant again a few months later and had my baby in my arms the next Christmas. He’s still my favorite present.

And I’ve never heard caffeine or exercise cause a first tri miscarriage. It’s more likely something just not growing right and becoming unviable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very sorry to hear this and I know it must be extra difficult since everyone always says that “you’re safe after you see the heartbeat” too.

I've lost many after seeing their heartbeats several times. So I, obviously, don't believe that BS anymore. I understand the stats but for some people it's very common to lose pregnancies like this.

OP here: it was super unexpected, because the baby’s heartbeat was strong and it measured right on target at the ultrasound. No cause was determined at the hospital, it just stopped growing. But the hospital sheet said too much exercise or caffeine could contribute to the miscarriage and now I’m wondering if I overdid it.

No. No you did not. I am being concise with my words deliberately.

You did not overdo it.