One time years ago, my wife was having a nightmare and made this hideous, tormented sound that I can only describe as downright ghoulish. It was so loud it woke me up, and I screamed out loud like a girl (think the Marv scream from Home Alone, but only about a second long) because I thought something evil was in our room. We were both so embarrassed respectively that we mentioned it the next morning with an awkward chuckle, and have never brought it up to each other again. 😂

I’ve though someone was touching me only to realize it was my own hand that had lost feeling because I slept on it the wrong way.

Anonymous wrote:Punched DH in the chest, then tried to shove him out of bed. I was fast asleep, I swear!

I recently punched myself! I got cold and tried to pull the blanket over my head while falling asleep. It got stuck, so I pulled it swiftly and hit my eye with a fist. Fortunately, I'm not strong enough to give myself a black eye. Not sure anyone would've believed this story otherwise.

Punched DH in the chest, then tried to shove him out of bed. I was fast asleep, I swear!

Anonymous wrote:Once, back in college, a guy who had been drinking heavily woke up, walked over to an big chair, lifted the seat cushion, and proceeded to pee like it was a toilet.

Had a roommate who would get really drunk. Once I woke up feeling a hand on my knee, it was him using my knee to balance, and proceeding to pee all over my floor and partly on my bed. Other roommate found him another time peeing from the stop of the stairs to the stair landing.

I've had awesome sex in my dreams but only since I was widowed.

Anonymous wrote:Once, back in college, a guy who had been drinking heavily woke up, walked over to an big chair, lifted the seat cushion, and proceeded to pee like it was a toilet.

Also not sleep related: years ago in a large men’s room at Wrigley Field in Chicago they had those trough urinals along the walls. In the middle of the room were large round industrial-style sinks (with foot-pedal activated water spouts) made from the very same metal as the urinals.

I saw a guy about 20 pissing into one of the sinks, which he had apparently mistaken for a urinal.

When he was done, he glanced around for a place to wash his hands, & he quickly realized he had just pissed in a sink in front of about 50 guys, not one of whom apparently knew the proper etiquette for informing a stranger he was peeing in a sink. If it was New York or Boston, I’m sure it would have been “Yo! Dude! Point the monster elsewhere!”

Once, back in college, a guy who had been drinking heavily woke up, walked over to an big chair, lifted the seat cushion, and proceeded to pee like it was a toilet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would I know? I was asleep! Just kidding.

On Christmas morning 1997 when I was 14, I was jolted out of a deep slumber by the sound of my mother shrieking in shock, followed by, “Oh honey…I didn’t realize…I’m so sorry!”, followed by a rush of cool air over my whole body. She had come in to wake me up to open presents, was in a very jolly mood, and thought it would be fun to just rip the covers off of us kids that morning. The problem? Not only was I wearing absolutely nothing, but also sleeping on my back in a position that left zero to the imagination.

I gather that was the last time she ever went into your room while you were asleep.

Not the last time she ever went into my room while I was asleep, but definitely the last time she ever ripped the covers off of me - or any of my siblings - again. From that point on until I went to college and then whenever I came home to visit, she would knock and say, “Are ya decent?” before entering. Not coincidentally, it was also the last Christmas I ever received pajamas as a gift. As mortifying as it was at the time, we still laugh about it almost three decades later, and it’s the reason I will NEVER wake my own children up in that manner.

That’s very wise. It’s pretty stupid to do that to anybody other than a little kid unless you’re asking for a show.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid, I was a terrible sleepwalker. One night, I woke up to find my perplexed dad, clad only in underwear, standing in the bathroom that opened to my room. The light was on and he was doing something with the bathtub.

Turns out that I had plugged the tub, started running a bath, and gone back to bed, all while fast asleep. My parents woke up to wet plaster falling from the ceiling of their bedroom, which was located right under the bathroom. My parents were amazingly nice about it—I basically ruined their ceiling.

I did something similar but no damage thankfully. My bedroom was in the main level but I used to shower in my sister’s bathroom upstairs because the main level one didn’t work. I came out of my room one night wrapped in a blanket, greeted my mom, and then walked upstairs to my sister’s room. She thought the tv noise was bothering me so I’d decided to sleep with my sister but eventually noticed the sound of the shower. She came upstairs and found the shower on and me asleep on the bathroom floor. I had no memory of any of it the next day.

Hope ya weren’t sleepin nekkid like some in these stories!