Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 17:32     Subject: I regret our wedding china

I got Spode Christmas Tree plates and later accessories every year for decades from DH family. I never really liked it and am thinking about selling via replacements Ltd. Maybe donating the rest. Two bankers boxes
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 17:20     Subject: I regret our wedding china

I registered for plain white and we use it daily. But my parents have started using their wedding china every day and putting it in the dishwasher, and it's going fine.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 17:16     Subject: I regret our wedding china

We have 2 sets if dead relatives China and 1 set of living relatives China in our basement. Ours is in a China cabinet and gets taken out for Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner, and on our anniversary. Wish we had never gotten it
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 17:15     Subject: I regret our wedding china

We keep ours in the attic. It skteches me out, so we have to wash it before we use it and then again before we put it away. We used to pull it down for every holiday when we hosted, but it hasn't come down since 2019. It might be time to give it away. I'm not at all sentimental about it. It just doesn't fit our lives. It we lived in a bigger house with space to keep in in the kitchen or dining room, maybe I'd reconsider.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 17:14     Subject: I regret our wedding china

Throw it in the dishwasher OP
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 17:02     Subject: I regret our wedding china

Forget the china ladies, the bigger issue is my Waterford crystal. The wine glass is small according today’s standard. I could 100% use the water glass as my wine glass 😝
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 16:45     Subject: I regret our wedding china

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wedding china is a vestigial aspect of a lost culture (that in my opinion, should stay lost).

Sell it if you can. Donate it if you can't. If you are anything like me, there just isn't room in the kitchen for something that rarely if ever gets used.


Could you expand on this? Interested to hear and understand.


Registering for china when one gets married is a 20th century tradition deeply related to class. Specifically the UMC. You don't register for china unless you are expected to entertain at a certain level (and if you are above that level you don't need to crowd source your china, crystal, etc by way of your wedding registry). Virtually no one entertains in that formal way anymore -- it just doesn't fit into contemporary life for many reasons (the primary one being that people simply enjoy more casual get-togethers now, the secondary one being that people don't have the kind of help that people of a certain class used to--who wants to wash that china by hand and polish all that silver? No one. It is extremely inconvenient -- so the help did it.). You don't want guests carrying plates that cost $300 each around your living room, piled with taquitos and pigs-in-a-blanket at your NYE get together. You don't need silver chafing dishes for the chili mac you serve at your Super Bowl party. Even dinner parties don't involve all the plated courses and whatnot where a full place setting with china, crystal and sliver would make sense. My grandmother (b. 1917) got all of that stuff out for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter in the 80s; that's the last I've seen of someone regularly entertaining in that way.

Bottom line, most people (no matter their class or ses) do not entertain like this anymore. So ... it's lost culture. It's old-fashioned to invite people over and use linens, crystal, china and silver. Many guests would find it uncomfortable, or charming because it's novel these days, or try-hard. It just isn't what most people do nowadays. Do some people still do it? Sure. That's the vestige.

As far as my opinion that it should stay lost? I am not a fan of conspicuous displays of wealth, and I'm not a fan of overly formal entertaining. But that's really just taste. Just a personal opinion.


I entertain often and I do use all the parts of our china set, because I have adapted to modern hosting. The bread plates I use for standing apps -- all around a charcuterie board, for example. I don't use the coffee cups every time, but the dessert plates get used, soup bowls sometimes and definitely the dinner plates and serveware. I don't think many people we know (UMC professionals) entertain with the kind of tailgate-level food you describe.


Hilarious. The "people we know (UMC professionals)" is such an embarrassing attempt at a flex. It sounds stupid (that's pretty much everyone I know -- and they aren't busting out fine china and "serveware" (sic) for parties). "Modern hosting" lol. Is that what the Junior League calls it nowadays? wouldn't know -- I don't have time for all that; as a "professional," I'm too busy to do much of it.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 16:38     Subject: Re:I regret our wedding china

Use it and put it in the dishwasher! What's the worst that happens, it gets ruined? You don't like it.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 16:18     Subject: I regret our wedding china

We use ours every Sunday. Use it and enjoy it.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 16:08     Subject: I regret our wedding china

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wedding china is a vestigial aspect of a lost culture (that in my opinion, should stay lost).

Sell it if you can. Donate it if you can't. If you are anything like me, there just isn't room in the kitchen for something that rarely if ever gets used.


Could you expand on this? Interested to hear and understand.


Registering for china when one gets married is a 20th century tradition deeply related to class. Specifically the UMC. You don't register for china unless you are expected to entertain at a certain level (and if you are above that level you don't need to crowd source your china, crystal, etc by way of your wedding registry). Virtually no one entertains in that formal way anymore -- it just doesn't fit into contemporary life for many reasons (the primary one being that people simply enjoy more casual get-togethers now, the secondary one being that people don't have the kind of help that people of a certain class used to--who wants to wash that china by hand and polish all that silver? No one. It is extremely inconvenient -- so the help did it.). You don't want guests carrying plates that cost $300 each around your living room, piled with taquitos and pigs-in-a-blanket at your NYE get together. You don't need silver chafing dishes for the chili mac you serve at your Super Bowl party. Even dinner parties don't involve all the plated courses and whatnot where a full place setting with china, crystal and sliver would make sense. My grandmother (b. 1917) got all of that stuff out for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter in the 80s; that's the last I've seen of someone regularly entertaining in that way.

Bottom line, most people (no matter their class or ses) do not entertain like this anymore. So ... it's lost culture. It's old-fashioned to invite people over and use linens, crystal, china and silver. Many guests would find it uncomfortable, or charming because it's novel these days, or try-hard. It just isn't what most people do nowadays. Do some people still do it? Sure. That's the vestige.

As far as my opinion that it should stay lost? I am not a fan of conspicuous displays of wealth, and I'm not a fan of overly formal entertaining. But that's really just taste. Just a personal opinion.


I entertain often and I do use all the parts of our china set, because I have adapted to modern hosting. The bread plates I use for standing apps -- all around a charcuterie board, for example. I don't use the coffee cups every time, but the dessert plates get used, soup bowls sometimes and definitely the dinner plates and serveware. I don't think many people we know (UMC professionals) entertain with the kind of tailgate-level food you describe.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 16:05     Subject: I regret our wedding china

Anonymous wrote:Use it frequently and you’ll get scratches and chips. Then, buy a new set.


+1. And wash it in the dishwasher
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 16:02     Subject: I regret our wedding china

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wedding china is a vestigial aspect of a lost culture (that in my opinion, should stay lost).

Sell it if you can. Donate it if you can't. If you are anything like me, there just isn't room in the kitchen for something that rarely if ever gets used.


Could you expand on this? Interested to hear and understand.


Registering for china when one gets married is a 20th century tradition deeply related to class. Specifically the UMC. You don't register for china unless you are expected to entertain at a certain level (and if you are above that level you don't need to crowd source your china, crystal, etc by way of your wedding registry). Virtually no one entertains in that formal way anymore -- it just doesn't fit into contemporary life for many reasons (the primary one being that people simply enjoy more casual get-togethers now, the secondary one being that people don't have the kind of help that people of a certain class used to--who wants to wash that china by hand and polish all that silver? No one. It is extremely inconvenient -- so the help did it.). You don't want guests carrying plates that cost $300 each around your living room, piled with taquitos and pigs-in-a-blanket at your NYE get together. You don't need silver chafing dishes for the chili mac you serve at your Super Bowl party. Even dinner parties don't involve all the plated courses and whatnot where a full place setting with china, crystal and sliver would make sense. My grandmother (b. 1917) got all of that stuff out for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter in the 80s; that's the last I've seen of someone regularly entertaining in that way.

Bottom line, most people (no matter their class or ses) do not entertain like this anymore. So ... it's lost culture. It's old-fashioned to invite people over and use linens, crystal, china and silver. Many guests would find it uncomfortable, or charming because it's novel these days, or try-hard. It just isn't what most people do nowadays. Do some people still do it? Sure. That's the vestige.

As far as my opinion that it should stay lost? I am not a fan of conspicuous displays of wealth, and I'm not a fan of overly formal entertaining. But that's really just taste. Just a personal opinion.


I would love to live that way, but as you said, unless there's a staff to cook, serve and clean, no way. My grandparents' generation lived like this every day. We sat at the table (assigned seats by rank), and staff would carry around the platters and offer them to every person in turn. My parents never did this in their own house, and neither do I.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 15:56     Subject: I regret our wedding china

Anonymous wrote:Can I please offload it? I feel like it's taking up a lot of space in our small kitchen, we hardly ever use it, and it needs to be handwashed because of the metallic accents. But, I feel guilty. DH is oddly sentimental about it and will throw a fit if I even suggest donating or selling it.
Do you still have your wedding china? Did you get rid of it? Share with me your stories of your wedding china, please.


When I was looking for china, one salesman told me to be sure I got something that could go in the dishwasher, and I did, and it clearly helps, because we use it a lot more than we use the crystal or silver, which have to be washed by hand.

Make your husband responsible to getting out the china, washing it, and putting it away. He may come to see things your way. IF not, at least it's not your hassle.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 15:32     Subject: I regret our wedding china

It’s fine to put it in the dishwasher. Yes, some metal might flake over time but probably not (mine has been 99% fine). Might as well use it.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 15:24     Subject: I regret our wedding china

Anonymous wrote:How do you get rid of it, do you just throw it in the trash?

I have a Wedgewood tea set that I display, some blue Wedgewood that I like but don't use, and my mom's silver rimmed Ombre Rosenthal set which I don't really like.


Donate it to Goodwill or a battered womens shelter.