Maybe normal shouldn’t be the word used but it is still developmentally appropriate for a four year old child. Should they be doing it? Obviously not.
But it is doubtful they would kick a child out of school over a push. A slap , kick , bite, or punch maybe. My 3.5 year old (at the time) got bit in the eye by a classmate and all they did was move my son from the 3 year room into the 4 year old room so I doubt they would do much for a push.

Kid should be kicked out and can came back when he learns not to push anyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 4 year old? That's way over the top!

You tell them what they did hurt the teacher, ask how they would feel if pushed. And you have them apologize to the teacher the next day, end of story.

+1 Getting sent to the principal from pre-k was a pretty big consequence already. You should have reinforced that at home with a conversation about what it is okay for him to do when he's upset (kick a ball, run really fast, take some time alone, whatever), but everything else is OTT. This isn't a twelve year old.

I thought this as well. Unless she was pushed into something or fell over and was injured , it just seems over the top. I would have expected a note home or maybe the guidance counselor meeting with him for a few minutes to talk with him about managing his emotions. But not a visit to the principal if this is the first time he’s ever done this.

If this 4yo is at a daycare or preschool the only other person is a principal if you need to escalate. This sounds principal worthy as it's one thing for kids to push each other but another entirely to start lashing out at the teachers. If it happened again I'd expect this family to get bounced out.

Seriously. How is it “normal” for a 4 year old to push an adult!??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 4 year old? That's way over the top!

You tell them what they did hurt the teacher, ask how they would feel if pushed. And you have them apologize to the teacher the next day, end of story.

+1 Getting sent to the principal from pre-k was a pretty big consequence already. You should have reinforced that at home with a conversation about what it is okay for him to do when he's upset (kick a ball, run really fast, take some time alone, whatever), but everything else is OTT. This isn't a twelve year old.

I thought this as well. Unless she was pushed into something or fell over and was injured , it just seems over the top. I would have expected a note home or maybe the guidance counselor meeting with him for a few minutes to talk with him about managing his emotions. But not a visit to the principal if this is the first time he’s ever done this.

If this 4yo is at a daycare or preschool the only other person is a principal if you need to escalate. This sounds principal worthy as it's one thing for kids to push each other but another entirely to start lashing out at the teachers. If it happened again I'd expect this family to get bounced out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 4 year old? That's way over the top!

You tell them what they did hurt the teacher, ask how they would feel if pushed. And you have them apologize to the teacher the next day, end of story.

+1 Getting sent to the principal from pre-k was a pretty big consequence already. You should have reinforced that at home with a conversation about what it is okay for him to do when he's upset (kick a ball, run really fast, take some time alone, whatever), but everything else is OTT. This isn't a twelve year old.

I thought this as well. Unless she was pushed into something or fell over and was injured , it just seems over the top. I would have expected a note home or maybe the guidance counselor meeting with him for a few minutes to talk with him about managing his emotions. But not a visit to the principal if this is the first time he’s ever done this.

Anonymous wrote:A 4 year old? That's way over the top!

You tell them what they did hurt the teacher, ask how they would feel if pushed. And you have them apologize to the teacher the next day, end of story.

+1 Getting sent to the principal from pre-k was a pretty big consequence already. You should have reinforced that at home with a conversation about what it is okay for him to do when he's upset (kick a ball, run really fast, take some time alone, whatever), but everything else is OTT. This isn't a twelve year old.

This is definitely normal behavior for a 4 year old and I have seen much worse in 4 year olds I’ve worked with. But it still needs to be dealt with. He can have a consequence but he needs to be taught how he can manage his emotions when he’s upset or frustrated because that’s why he’s pushing. He didn’t make a decision to push , it was out of anger. Taking away an iPad isn’t going to prevent him from getting angry next time , he’s going to need tools to manage that by himself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.

I have taught four year olds, and it's definitely normal behavior, if undesirable. It's a rare four year old who never hits or pushes anyone, and usually those kids have other issues.

Managing normal behavior without drama is my job as a teacher. Consequences are important, and overdoing them is counter productive.

And I actually worry more about kids who never stand up for themselves.

Anonymous wrote:Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.

+1,000

Its not normal to push an adult at 4.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.

Good thing you're a former teacher. Absolutely no one here is saying they're ok with it. They're saying this is within the realm of normal for four, and punishing him (with something permanent?!) hours after the fact is useless and not age appropriate.

I supervise teachers now, so sit with that.

And no, it is absolutely not within the realm of normal for a four year old to push an adult in anger. Yes it is normal for some parents to consider such behavior to be normal/acceptable.

Do you have children?

DP. I’m also a former teacher and have two kids of my own. Agree that is not normal, and agree that many parents will say that it is.

Well the definition of "many parents saying it's normal" is that many children do it, hence it's normal. Glad your kids never pushed! It seems from this thread and your own experience than many parents have kids who push. An action being undesirable isn't the same thing as it being abnormal.

My kids pushed plenty, and that's normal and age-appropriate. My kids never pushed a teacher, though. Pushing a teacher when you're four and you're angry isn't normal.

As a special ed para I worked with a behaviorally challenged five year old who slapped me in the face. I had told him he needed to write one more word and then he could play with his cars (established reward). He slapped me. I took him to the principal's office. She called his father who left his job in DC and came to the VA suburbs within the hour. After the principal talked to him with the child present I was asked to come to her office where the child (and the father) apologized. I later received a written note from the child which I still have years later.

I worked many years with behaviorally challenged kids and this type of physicality against a teacher was very rare. This child had some issues although I don't think he got physical again with a teacher that year at least. His parents did not think it was in any way normal or ok for him or any child.

So many brats because so many parents think it's fine for your little darling to push a teacher. Next time maybe he'll push another kid who will push back..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.

I have taught four year olds, and it's definitely normal behavior, if undesirable. It's a rare four year old who never hits or pushes anyone, and usually those kids have other issues.

Managing normal behavior without drama is my job as a teacher. Consequences are important, and overdoing them is counter productive.

And I actually worry more about kids who never stand up for themselves.

Anonymous wrote:Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.

I have taught four year olds, and it's definitely normal behavior, if undesirable. It's a rare four year old who never hits or pushes anyone, and usually those kids have other issues.