Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 10:16     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Every woman that files for divorce thinks that not only she deserve better but is convinced that her next man will be an upgrade. You can thank our culture of giving every woman a queen crown whether deserved or not.


Most divorced moms don’t date the first year or two nor care to.

This post makes less and less sense.

Why is it even so long? Is the supposed male Op a YA writer?
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 10:14     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Ok,

We are 1 year post divorce. The divorce surprisingly was uneventful, we used a mediator and agreed on everything. She asked for the divorce after having given me a list of things I failed to do throughout our marriage. As soon as the divorce was finalized she started dating and seemed very happy. When I pick up the kids we have quick chats and every time I ask her how she is doing she reminds me how happy she is and make a point to point out how better her life is with her new flame etc.

Now she has turned into a complete maniac. The other day I told her I was going on a date if she could watch our kids. She said No. A few hours later I got close to 20 text messages quizzing me about this girl imposing demands declaring that our kids will never see her etc. Anyways I ignored her and I thought she was just having a bad day with her new flame . Nope it’s total nightmare. She is taking me to court to revisit child custody, she also thinks that I got a promotion and make more and therefore she is going to go to court for higher child support payments. And she is now also sabotaging my time with our kids. I feel like she doesn’t want me to be happy. If I cheated on her or treated her badly during our marriage maybe I could understand her nutty behavior. Nope. She has gone crazy.

Anyone dealt or is dealing with a crazy ex spouse? When you divorce someone isn’t it over? I am just confused. This cannot be jealousy because we are not married anymore. Anyways I hope she gets back to her senses….She is 42 years old, I don’t get it….


Why are you pestering her for babysitting to go on dates?
Is this some right of first refusal thing?
Does she do the same to you? Or does she make sure her dates are not during her custody time ( like most divorced adults do).
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 10:10     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Anonymous wrote:This behavior is a typical woman's behavior. Men will simply not react this way. Sure they may be triggered as well and act jealous but they are less likely to send a volley of 20+ text messages and/or using the kids as a bargaining chip.

I hope OP learns.


Oh you are wrong about that. My ex would get really irritated if he knew the reason I was doing x y z was to be with another man. I did exactly what is advised on here, keep it to myself. Date on my non custodial time.

It's not a gender thing, it's an exes thing. It's normal for people to have mixed feelings about their exes. You may think you are over everything then a new situation brings up feelings. Normal. But OP can skirt the conflict by being wiser. As I did.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 10:06     Subject: Difficult ex wife
This behavior is a typical woman's behavior. Men will simply not react this way. Sure they may be triggered as well and act jealous but they are less likely to send a volley of 20+ text messages and/or using the kids as a bargaining chip.

I hope OP learns.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 10:05     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Why should your ex babysit while you go on a date? Grow up! Get a babysitter. Or date when you don’t have the kids.


Also, date on your free time, not your custodial time. That's what I did for yeeeaaaarrrrss.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 10:04     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why did you tell her you had a date and ask her to babysit? That is 100% guaranteed to trigger most women shortly after a divorce. Her reaction is so obvious that it's almost like you did it intentionally because you like playing games with her.


What?’! The woman is already dating for God sake. And she started dating as soon as the divorced was final and OP waited a year. Come in now …


+1. Ways the man’s fault. Some of the women here are incredibly dumb they will defend what’s not defensible as long as it is a woman who is put on the spot


Op is omitting details. Sounds like mom has been dating during OPs custodial time whereas op is dating during his own custodial time and asking mom to babysit during it.


Another defense of the woman lol...incredible


PP is right. How is the man’s behavior defensible in this case?
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 10:04     Subject: Difficult ex wife
I hope you learned a lesson, keep your dating life private from her.
It's unlikely she will get any change in a just-settled divorce/custody. Remain calm, get through this, from now on pretend you aren't dating, keep her out of your private life. This will make YOUR life easier.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 10:01     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Women are crazy.

Agree
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 09:57     Subject: Difficult ex wife
In many custody agreements you are required to give your ex first shot at having the kids if you are not going to be with them during your custody time. Parent before babysitter, grandparent, siblings etc. Making a date during his custody time and then telling ex why not available was the error.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 09:56     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why did you tell her you had a date and ask her to babysit? That is 100% guaranteed to trigger most women shortly after a divorce. Her reaction is so obvious that it's almost like you did it intentionally because you like playing games with her.


What?’! The woman is already dating for God sake. And she started dating as soon as the divorced was final and OP waited a year. Come in now …


It's not a gender issue. If she did the same thing to him (soon after their divorce, ask him to babysit for her during her parenting time because she had a date), it would likely be triggering. That's just stupid behavior that is designed to elicit hard feelings.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 09:51     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why did you TELL her that you were asking her to take the kids because you had a date to go on? You were inviting drama. It's ridiculous but you should not have done that.

Hopefully things will calm down but wisen up. And you really should be using your time with the kids to spend with the kids, not on dates.


But OP's ex-wife is in a relationship herself. Why is she suddenly acting this way when OP finally is starting to date. Why would she even care????


Dating is one thing. "Can you watch the kids for me during the time I'm supposed to have them this week so I can go on a date" is another.

His ex is clearly jealous, and overreacting, and seems volatile. Going to court over this is nuts (unless he's dating a child molester and left that out or something). But OP was stupid to 1) arrange a date during his custodial time, and 2) ask this particular person, of all people, to be his free babysitter and tell her it was for his date.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 09:51     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Remain completely calm and document her meltdowns. Be polite, but less friendly chit chat with her. Reveal as little about you and your life outside the kids as possible.


No point in "documenting her meltdowns."
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 09:50     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why did you TELL her that you were asking her to take the kids because you had a date to go on? You were inviting drama. It's ridiculous but you should not have done that.

Hopefully things will calm down but wisen up. And you really should be using your time with the kids to spend with the kids, not on dates.


But OP's ex-wife is in a relationship herself. Why is she suddenly acting this way when OP finally is starting to date. Why would she even care????


Because she still cares and is not ready for him to be moving on. HE should not be over HER yet!
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 09:48     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Why did you TELL her that you were asking her to take the kids because you had a date to go on? You were inviting drama. It's ridiculous but you should not have done that.

Hopefully things will calm down but wisen up. And you really should be using your time with the kids to spend with the kids, not on dates.


But OP's ex-wife is in a relationship herself. Why is she suddenly acting this way when OP finally is starting to date. Why would she even care????
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 09:46     Subject: Difficult ex wife
Women are crazy.