Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are like the poster who said her Xmas is for fun frivolous things that don't cost that much. I think a more moderate Xmas is pretty common among our UMC friends because the kids all have everything they want anyway.

Our kids have everything OP listed and they were all just given during the year. They were purchased new. They all have multiple devices like a Macbook and an iPad in addition to phones and airpods. Clothes are purchased as needed.

We are lucky they don't really want for other material things. I know my niece has closets full of clothes and still wants more but DD is happy with her really small wardrobe.

Please, Most UMC families I know are VERY generous to their kids during Christmas. Piles of gifts - Uggs, Lululemon, Nike, gaming systems, expensive skin care products. On & on.

+1. I spent $1000 on each kid and that seems lower end compared to what some of their friends are getting. We aren’t traveling for the holidays either.

Anonymous wrote:My kids got a switch as a joint gift a few years ago. Neither has a personal tablet or computer. They are 13 and 8. We have nowhere to ride bikes, so while they know how, they don’t have bikes.

Neither asked for anything expensive. I think the most expensive thing was a $70 Lego set.

Go on Nextdoor and get them some used bikes probably for free. People throw their old bikes away all the time. (Depending on what type of space you have to store it)

A nearby high school with a track is usually where I see city kids riding bikes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids usually save money to buy things like a laptop or iphone. We do chip in a bit for the phone, but laptop is all them. They work PT jobs and/or save xmas/bday money.

We bought a WII a while ago for xmas. That's the only gaming console we have.

Where do they save the $ from?

Was going to ask this. My kids don’t have anyone regularly sending them large sums of money to make this possible. PPs kids much have rich relatives.

NP. My kids get a weekly allowance -- we feel it is very important that they learn to manage money, save up for the things they want, etc. (even if just small sums). They can also earn extra money for doing special, extra chores around the house. DD currently has her sights on a Switch, and my house is cleaner than it's ever been Win win!

We buy those things on an as-needed basis throughout the year.

For my kids, a bike is utilitarian. When they started middle school, they biked everywhere with friends. And they biked to school. The bikes weren't given as gifts, and they were bought when the need arose.

Same with a laptop. When they started having more homework and it was too logistically annoying to have the three of them fighting over our home desktop, we bought laptops. *shrug* Not a gift, something utilitarian that they needed and we supplied when the need arose.

My kids don't have gaming systems. Just not something they've ever expressed an interest in.

Also most people aren't rigid. It seems like you're envisioning this rigid "WE DON'T BUY GIFTS OVER $100!!! NEVER EVER!!! FAMILY RULE THAT MUST NEVER BE BROKEN!"" - I don't know anyone like that. *Usually* we don't do big ticket items for Christmas, it's not even an intentional "rule", that's just how we've always "rolled." But one year my daughter -- who loves baking -- asked for a KitchenAid mixer. So we got her it. It's really not that deep.

My boys (12 and 14) don't get much stuff outside of Christmas and birthdays. If they want something during the year, they just have to wait. When they outgrow their clothes, we replace them with basic essentials and save the "brands" for Christmas and birthdays.

I don't see what all this fuss is about. Some people give throughout the year and some people only give twice a year. We're in the twice a year camp. This year, though, there are no big ticket items because they have the big ticket things and we aren't upgrading things just to upgrade them. And, we've said no to a couple of things until they get older (AirPods, for example).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids usually save money to buy things like a laptop or iphone. We do chip in a bit for the phone, but laptop is all them. They work PT jobs and/or save xmas/bday money.

We bought a WII a while ago for xmas. That's the only gaming console we have.

Where do they save the $ from?

Was going to ask this. My kids don’t have anyone regularly sending them large sums of money to make this possible. PPs kids much have rich relatives.

I don't brag about the cheap presents, but the expensive ones were bought long ago by ex or relatives. They replace them as kids grow or break them. I don't know anything about the gaming stuff. Definitely not enough to buy it.
My sister and BIL got the kid a fancy bike, but because they take him to bike rides and live in a house. I live in apartment with little space.

^^sorry for typos. Not just a passing fad, etc

We only have the school Chromebooks and know many people in the same boat. No gaming systems.

But my kids also have spring/summer birthdays. So with Christmas on one side of the year and birthday on the other, we save up almost all the gifts for those occasions. So Christmas may look big, but that's more than half of what they get all year. There's usually enough leeway to just say "put it in your Christmas/birthday list," then when they are narrowing down their lists before they holidays we find some of their "needs" or "wants" get crossed off. That waiting time helps ensure that it wasn't just a pushing fad, but it's something that is important to them. And there's delayed gratification for the rest that we do get. Also there are basic replacement things like socks wrapped under the tree and new toothbrush heads in the stockings.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this question, OP! Every year I feel a bit judged because we do an expensive Christmas. The thing is we don’t do expensive gifts any other time of year except Christmas and birthday. If we determine kid can get a phone by X grade it’s a gift for the occasion that occurs before it. Computers were a Christmas gift during Covid (needed for school), etc.

Same. Christmas and Birthdays are for the big gifts in our family, and the rest of the year we don’t do much at all.

Anonymous wrote:We are like the poster who said her Xmas is for fun frivolous things that don't cost that much. I think a more moderate Xmas is pretty common among our UMC friends because the kids all have everything they want anyway.

Our kids have everything OP listed and they were all just given during the year. They were purchased new. They all have multiple devices like a Macbook and an iPad in addition to phones and airpods. Clothes are purchased as needed.

We are lucky they don't really want for other material things. I know my niece has closets full of clothes and still wants more but DD is happy with her really small wardrobe.

Please, Most UMC families I know are VERY generous to their kids during Christmas. Piles of gifts - Uggs, Lululemon, Nike, gaming systems, expensive skin care products. On & on.

We are like the poster who said her Xmas is for fun frivolous things that don't cost that much. I think a more moderate Xmas is pretty common among our UMC friends because the kids all have everything they want anyway.

Our kids have everything OP listed and they were all just given during the year. They were purchased new. They all have multiple devices like a Macbook and an iPad in addition to phones and airpods. Clothes are purchased as needed.

We are lucky they don't really want for other material things. I know my niece has closets full of clothes and still wants more but DD is happy with her really small wardrobe.

Anonymous wrote:My kids usually save money to buy things like a laptop or iphone. We do chip in a bit for the phone, but laptop is all them. They work PT jobs and/or save xmas/bday money.

We bought a WII a while ago for xmas. That's the only gaming console we have.

Where do they save the $ from?

Anonymous wrote:Just thought of another reason: If you set the precedent of getting an expensive gift for Christmas, this is what they will expect every year, and simpler gifts are then a let down. No kid or teen needs an expensive item every year around Dec 25. Laptops, bikes, phones, etc can last for many years and you get them when it's a good and convenient time. You don't upgrade just because it's the holidays.

OP here,

My kids have never really had trouble with that. They also don't have trouble with me buying something in advance of the holiday, because they need it in advance (e.g. the basketball shoes they want at the beginning of basketball season) and telling them "this is a Christmas gift".