Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

I think that is weird. None of the offspring have ventured out into the world? Sounds like people are stuck in a small town and don't know how to outgrow it. Sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

You'll have to accept that "different from me" does not equal "dysfunctional". It's hard, I know.
The reality is that you're in the DC area, capital of the world. There are MANY transplants from all over the planet who work here because their expertise is needed, and paid for. Their parents are far away. Sometimes they feel sad, sometimes they're fine with it.

But the mere fact that families live scattered across the globe is not dysfunctional. We are an international family, with parents who also didn't live close to their parents, and we know many families like ours. At one point, I have close relatives settled or working on every continent except Antarctica. This is the modern world, OP. I would never prevent my kids from following their heart's desire to the opposite side of the world, because of some strange notion that a "functional" family lives 20 minutes away from each other.

Just STFU. This thread is full of posts where posters are taking shots against their parents and affirmatively saying that it’s good to be as far away from family as humanely possible. And that is crazy dysfunctional bullshit. As I said in my post, we do have some family who don’t live near their parents - but they’re not happy about it. THAT is normal. Being happy about being away from your family is the definition of dysfunction.

DP. Well, how lucky we are to have you here to model how someone raised in an idyllic family communicates with others the appropriate judgment on their lives.

Sure I’m lucky. I’m also calling a spade a spade. To suggest that it’s not dysfunctional to actually WANT to live far away from your parents is nonsense. That’s all.

No, you misread. We're the lucky ones -- apparently your parents raised you to pass judgment with limited information and feel empowered to state it without nuance. Go you, bossbabe.

There’s no nuance to posts saying that they affirmatively WANT to live away from parents or family. If you WANT to do that, it by definition means your family relationship is dysfunctional. Captain Obvious.

You know what's obvious? If people are willing to move far away to minimize contact in a relationship, then it's not a pleasant, helpful, and functional relationship that brings them joy.

Come on. You need people to say this explicitly? That's the obliviousness here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

You'll have to accept that "different from me" does not equal "dysfunctional". It's hard, I know.
The reality is that you're in the DC area, capital of the world. There are MANY transplants from all over the planet who work here because their expertise is needed, and paid for. Their parents are far away. Sometimes they feel sad, sometimes they're fine with it.

But the mere fact that families live scattered across the globe is not dysfunctional. We are an international family, with parents who also didn't live close to their parents, and we know many families like ours. At one point, I have close relatives settled or working on every continent except Antarctica. This is the modern world, OP. I would never prevent my kids from following their heart's desire to the opposite side of the world, because of some strange notion that a "functional" family lives 20 minutes away from each other.

Just STFU. This thread is full of posts where posters are taking shots against their parents and affirmatively saying that it’s good to be as far away from family as humanely possible. And that is crazy dysfunctional bullshit. As I said in my post, we do have some family who don’t live near their parents - but they’re not happy about it. THAT is normal. Being happy about being away from your family is the definition of dysfunction.

DP. Well, how lucky we are to have you here to model how someone raised in an idyllic family communicates with others the appropriate judgment on their lives.

Sure I’m lucky. I’m also calling a spade a spade. To suggest that it’s not dysfunctional to actually WANT to live far away from your parents is nonsense. That’s all.

It's not dysfunctional to keep distance when people who want to enmesh you are grossly dysfunctional. That's crazy. Choosing distance is the functional part of growing up in those households.

Or are you blaming people for being born into families they had (and have) no control over? That's pretty sick.

I’m not blaming anybody for anything. But cmon - you can’t say that you want to live away from the dysfunctional “people” in your family then claim in the same sentence that your family isn’t dysfunctional.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

You'll have to accept that "different from me" does not equal "dysfunctional". It's hard, I know.
The reality is that you're in the DC area, capital of the world. There are MANY transplants from all over the planet who work here because their expertise is needed, and paid for. Their parents are far away. Sometimes they feel sad, sometimes they're fine with it.

But the mere fact that families live scattered across the globe is not dysfunctional. We are an international family, with parents who also didn't live close to their parents, and we know many families like ours. At one point, I have close relatives settled or working on every continent except Antarctica. This is the modern world, OP. I would never prevent my kids from following their heart's desire to the opposite side of the world, because of some strange notion that a "functional" family lives 20 minutes away from each other.

Just STFU. This thread is full of posts where posters are taking shots against their parents and affirmatively saying that it’s good to be as far away from family as humanely possible. And that is crazy dysfunctional bullshit. As I said in my post, we do have some family who don’t live near their parents - but they’re not happy about it. THAT is normal. Being happy about being away from your family is the definition of dysfunction.

DP. Well, how lucky we are to have you here to model how someone raised in an idyllic family communicates with others the appropriate judgment on their lives.

Sure I’m lucky. I’m also calling a spade a spade. To suggest that it’s not dysfunctional to actually WANT to live far away from your parents is nonsense. That’s all.

No, you misread. We're the lucky ones -- apparently your parents raised you to pass judgment with limited information and feel empowered to state it without nuance. Go you, bossbabe.

There’s no nuance to posts saying that they affirmatively WANT to live away from parents or family. If you WANT to do that, it by definition means your family relationship is dysfunctional. Captain Obvious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

You'll have to accept that "different from me" does not equal "dysfunctional". It's hard, I know.
The reality is that you're in the DC area, capital of the world. There are MANY transplants from all over the planet who work here because their expertise is needed, and paid for. Their parents are far away. Sometimes they feel sad, sometimes they're fine with it.

But the mere fact that families live scattered across the globe is not dysfunctional. We are an international family, with parents who also didn't live close to their parents, and we know many families like ours. At one point, I have close relatives settled or working on every continent except Antarctica. This is the modern world, OP. I would never prevent my kids from following their heart's desire to the opposite side of the world, because of some strange notion that a "functional" family lives 20 minutes away from each other.

Just STFU. This thread is full of posts where posters are taking shots against their parents and affirmatively saying that it’s good to be as far away from family as humanely possible. And that is crazy dysfunctional bullshit. As I said in my post, we do have some family who don’t live near their parents - but they’re not happy about it. THAT is normal. Being happy about being away from your family is the definition of dysfunction.

DP. Well, how lucky we are to have you here to model how someone raised in an idyllic family communicates with others the appropriate judgment on their lives.

Sure I’m lucky. I’m also calling a spade a spade. To suggest that it’s not dysfunctional to actually WANT to live far away from your parents is nonsense. That’s all.

It's not dysfunctional to keep distance when people who want to enmesh you are grossly dysfunctional. That's crazy. Choosing distance is the functional part of growing up in those households.

Or are you blaming people for being born into families they had (and have) no control over? That's pretty sick.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

You'll have to accept that "different from me" does not equal "dysfunctional". It's hard, I know.
The reality is that you're in the DC area, capital of the world. There are MANY transplants from all over the planet who work here because their expertise is needed, and paid for. Their parents are far away. Sometimes they feel sad, sometimes they're fine with it.

But the mere fact that families live scattered across the globe is not dysfunctional. We are an international family, with parents who also didn't live close to their parents, and we know many families like ours. At one point, I have close relatives settled or working on every continent except Antarctica. This is the modern world, OP. I would never prevent my kids from following their heart's desire to the opposite side of the world, because of some strange notion that a "functional" family lives 20 minutes away from each other.

Just STFU. This thread is full of posts where posters are taking shots against their parents and affirmatively saying that it’s good to be as far away from family as humanely possible. And that is crazy dysfunctional bullshit. As I said in my post, we do have some family who don’t live near their parents - but they’re not happy about it. THAT is normal. Being happy about being away from your family is the definition of dysfunction.

DP. Well, how lucky we are to have you here to model how someone raised in an idyllic family communicates with others the appropriate judgment on their lives.

Sure I’m lucky. I’m also calling a spade a spade. To suggest that it’s not dysfunctional to actually WANT to live far away from your parents is nonsense. That’s all.

No, you misread. We're the lucky ones -- apparently your parents raised you to pass judgment with limited information and feel empowered to state it without nuance. Go you, bossbabe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

You'll have to accept that "different from me" does not equal "dysfunctional". It's hard, I know.
The reality is that you're in the DC area, capital of the world. There are MANY transplants from all over the planet who work here because their expertise is needed, and paid for. Their parents are far away. Sometimes they feel sad, sometimes they're fine with it.

But the mere fact that families live scattered across the globe is not dysfunctional. We are an international family, with parents who also didn't live close to their parents, and we know many families like ours. At one point, I have close relatives settled or working on every continent except Antarctica. This is the modern world, OP. I would never prevent my kids from following their heart's desire to the opposite side of the world, because of some strange notion that a "functional" family lives 20 minutes away from each other.

Just STFU. This thread is full of posts where posters are taking shots against their parents and affirmatively saying that it’s good to be as far away from family as humanely possible. And that is crazy dysfunctional bullshit. As I said in my post, we do have some family who don’t live near their parents - but they’re not happy about it. THAT is normal. Being happy about being away from your family is the definition of dysfunction.

DP. Well, how lucky we are to have you here to model how someone raised in an idyllic family communicates with others the appropriate judgment on their lives.

Sure I’m lucky. I’m also calling a spade a spade. To suggest that it’s not dysfunctional to actually WANT to live far away from your parents is nonsense. That’s all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

You'll have to accept that "different from me" does not equal "dysfunctional". It's hard, I know.
The reality is that you're in the DC area, capital of the world. There are MANY transplants from all over the planet who work here because their expertise is needed, and paid for. Their parents are far away. Sometimes they feel sad, sometimes they're fine with it.

But the mere fact that families live scattered across the globe is not dysfunctional. We are an international family, with parents who also didn't live close to their parents, and we know many families like ours. At one point, I have close relatives settled or working on every continent except Antarctica. This is the modern world, OP. I would never prevent my kids from following their heart's desire to the opposite side of the world, because of some strange notion that a "functional" family lives 20 minutes away from each other.

Just STFU. This thread is full of posts where posters are taking shots against their parents and affirmatively saying that it’s good to be as far away from family as humanely possible. And that is crazy dysfunctional bullshit. As I said in my post, we do have some family who don’t live near their parents - but they’re not happy about it. THAT is normal. Being happy about being away from your family is the definition of dysfunction.

DP. Well, how lucky we are to have you here to model how someone raised in an idyllic family communicates with others the appropriate judgment on their lives.

Sure I’m lucky. I’m also calling a spade a spade. To suggest that it’s not dysfunctional to actually WANT to live far away from your parents is nonsense. That’s all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

You'll have to accept that "different from me" does not equal "dysfunctional". It's hard, I know.
The reality is that you're in the DC area, capital of the world. There are MANY transplants from all over the planet who work here because their expertise is needed, and paid for. Their parents are far away. Sometimes they feel sad, sometimes they're fine with it.

But the mere fact that families live scattered across the globe is not dysfunctional. We are an international family, with parents who also didn't live close to their parents, and we know many families like ours. At one point, I have close relatives settled or working on every continent except Antarctica. This is the modern world, OP. I would never prevent my kids from following their heart's desire to the opposite side of the world, because of some strange notion that a "functional" family lives 20 minutes away from each other.

Just STFU. This thread is full of posts where posters are taking shots against their parents and affirmatively saying that it’s good to be as far away from family as humanely possible. And that is crazy dysfunctional bullshit. As I said in my post, we do have some family who don’t live near their parents - but they’re not happy about it. THAT is normal. Being happy about being away from your family is the definition of dysfunction.

I posted early in the thread about how I choose to live pretty far from my parents in order to preserve our relationship. I'd be the first to tell you my family is dysfunctional. Generations of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. Enmeshment. Poor communication. Lots of emotional projection. Few healthy coping mechanisms for stress or conflict.

Why would I want to live close to that? Some families are dysfunctional and that is precisely why some adult children choose distance. I want to protect my DC from that dysfunction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

I think that is weird. None of the offspring have ventured out into the world? Sounds like people are stuck in a small town and don't know how to outgrow it. Sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

You'll have to accept that "different from me" does not equal "dysfunctional". It's hard, I know.
The reality is that you're in the DC area, capital of the world. There are MANY transplants from all over the planet who work here because their expertise is needed, and paid for. Their parents are far away. Sometimes they feel sad, sometimes they're fine with it.

But the mere fact that families live scattered across the globe is not dysfunctional. We are an international family, with parents who also didn't live close to their parents, and we know many families like ours. At one point, I have close relatives settled or working on every continent except Antarctica. This is the modern world, OP. I would never prevent my kids from following their heart's desire to the opposite side of the world, because of some strange notion that a "functional" family lives 20 minutes away from each other.

Just STFU. This thread is full of posts where posters are taking shots against their parents and affirmatively saying that it’s good to be as far away from family as humanely possible. And that is crazy dysfunctional bullshit. As I said in my post, we do have some family who don’t live near their parents - but they’re not happy about it. THAT is normal. Being happy about being away from your family is the definition of dysfunction.

DP. Well, how lucky we are to have you here to model how someone raised in an idyllic family communicates with others the appropriate judgment on their lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone in our family - and there are a lot of us - whose adult kids don’t want to live as close to their parents as they can. All of our adult kids (four) live within a 20 minute drive, and two of the four are within walking distance. Most kids of my brothers’ and sister’s kid live just as close to their parents too (in other cities), and the ones who don’t are sad that they can’t.

So many dysfunctional families on DCUM. I wonder if it’s just a DMV regional thing.

You'll have to accept that "different from me" does not equal "dysfunctional". It's hard, I know.
The reality is that you're in the DC area, capital of the world. There are MANY transplants from all over the planet who work here because their expertise is needed, and paid for. Their parents are far away. Sometimes they feel sad, sometimes they're fine with it.

But the mere fact that families live scattered across the globe is not dysfunctional. We are an international family, with parents who also didn't live close to their parents, and we know many families like ours. At one point, I have close relatives settled or working on every continent except Antarctica. This is the modern world, OP. I would never prevent my kids from following their heart's desire to the opposite side of the world, because of some strange notion that a "functional" family lives 20 minutes away from each other.

Just STFU. This thread is full of posts where posters are taking shots against their parents and affirmatively saying that it’s good to be as far away from family as humanely possible. And that is crazy dysfunctional bullshit. As I said in my post, we do have some family who don’t live near their parents - but they’re not happy about it. THAT is normal. Being happy about being away from your family is the definition of dysfunction.