Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 14:23     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Anonymous wrote:We are a mid-30s couple with two little kids. I really love cooking, hosting, and being social, but we haven't really had friends over in the 6 years we've been here because I'm embarrassed how outdated our house is. All of our friends have bought newer builds or gut renovated their older house and I feel like they'll judge our's. We are clean and tidy, but our kitchen is original from the 60s (including the double oven) and our bathrooms are from the 80s. There's a few marks on the floors that are just permanent at this point even when the floor is freshly scrubbed by hand so I feel like it looks unkempt if you look closely.

Do you judge people for out of date homes?


You need to look at it from the other side. We have friends that we invited over several times and they complained about their dated house and never once invited us over.

We could not care less about the condition of their home...but we stopped inviting them over, because we had enough with the one-way invitations.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 14:19     Subject: Re:I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Some of the best hosts I have seen were the ones who had old bathrooms and worn carpet and outdated kitchens. None of that matters.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 12:17     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
As long as I can flush the toilet and wash my hands, I don't care if your bathroom is 70s avocado green with a brown shag rug. Echoing everyone else, I'm always grateful to be invited and thankful not to be hosting! Enjoy your home and your friends.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 11:12     Subject: Re:I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is



If you love to entertain, why don't you do some quick updates that cost little $? New paint, updating backsplash, etc goes a long way. Also, do you have comfortable furniture ? Are you making the spaces you have functional and clutter free?
I don't judge people from a flashy or material standpoint, but you do need to make it comfortable and feasible if you want to properly entertain.
Anonymous
Post 12/10/2023 12:59     Subject: Re:I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
My group of friends is happy for anyone to host - no one cares what their house looks like.
Anonymous
Post 12/10/2023 12:31     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
And also have hand soap at the sinks. That's it.
Anonymous
Post 12/10/2023 12:30     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Nope, not at all OP. Don't worry. The only issue I take if it it's too hot, I went to someones house once and the heat as at 82. I want to hang not sweat.
Anonymous
Post 12/10/2023 12:26     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Nobody cares. Do you want to be friends with people who are judging your home? It sounds like a good way to weed out jerks from your friend group.
Anonymous
Post 12/10/2023 10:37     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Anonymous wrote:I've been there OP and still am sort of. I regret not hosting more. True friends won't judge. And the things you see as outdated and terrible may look different through someone else's eyes. A few days before my 70's kitchen was being demo'd someone was at my house and told me that they really liked it and how cozy it was. I saw it totally differently at that moment.


Even short term, bad friends won’t judge tbh.
Anonymous
Post 12/10/2023 10:08     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Just have people over. Life is short. Interest rates are high so don’t take loans to renovate now.

People aren’t this shallow.
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 23:34     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
I've been there OP and still am sort of. I regret not hosting more. True friends won't judge. And the things you see as outdated and terrible may look different through someone else's eyes. A few days before my 70's kitchen was being demo'd someone was at my house and told me that they really liked it and how cozy it was. I saw it totally differently at that moment.
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 22:43     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Why not renovate?
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 22:39     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
They will be thankful you are hosting. They won't even look at the floor. Good food, good company, good laughs. Invite them over. They probably already know that you are self conscious about this so they will be super excited to be invited over because they just want to spend time with you guys.
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 20:09     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Here’s what I care about:

-clean
-no air wicks or other strong scents (allergic)
-preferably no pets since I am allergic but if there are pets shut them outside or in a bedroom
-comfortable furniture

I could not care less how old your oven or sink is
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 20:08     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
I have a 90s kitchen and I can assure you it is much worse than a 60s kitchen. If I had your kitchen I'd be showing it to anyone and everyone. Especially if it has Formica countertops.