Disgusting.

This entire thread is a horrendous example of cisheterosexism and should be deleted.

Consider this:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/reply/45/1172632.page

It's hard to be a boy these days for many reasons. Boys are often not given the room just to be themselves anymore while growing up and the resulting outcomes in high school and college are sad.

I have two boys and just show up as a parent every day, which is pretty much all you can do.

I want my son to be the kind of person who doesn't care how cool he is but rather how kind and respected he is. To choose his friends wisely and hang out with people who support him and stay out of trouble. And to reach out to others who just need a friend, even if you don't know them.

Now that he is a teenager, use social media/technology wisely. I don't care if he plays video games and spends time texting on the phone but be smart about it.

Chivalry is not dead and it's important to me that my son respects women, whether he is interested in them romantically or not. Stand up for your female friends and be the one that they feel they can trust when they need someone to help them. I want my son to be the guy that the girls' parents are relived will be out with them because they know he will make good decisions.

Be a good husband/partner and father, if he choses to have kids. I am lucky to have really positive role models in my son's life from my husband to my father/FIL, his uncles, coaches, the dads of his friends.

And stay away from fights. Go get a teacher or just walk away if you have to but don't get involved unless you can help end it. And never, ever record a fight. That will result in getting your phone taken away immediately.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“only men can raise boys into a man.” Hmmm. I disagree. There are many men out there who were raised by single mothers, including mine. He’s a good man because he’s a good person.

My cousin was raised by a man and he’s a d$&k. He even admits it.

That’s your personal situation and your cousins. It doesn’t change the fact that majority of kids in fatherless homes are at a disadvantage and need a strong father in the home.

They are at a disadvantage because single moms often struggle financially. It’s the money that’s an issue, not the man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the same basics as a girl.

Things that are specific to boys:

Toxic masculinity

Pervasive homophobia. The messaging to them is subtly all over the place really as early as K.

When they're older, how to interact with and treat with women. Consent. How to interact online. Huge topics. I have told my son you're not getting any grace in this world. Because men got away with so much BS for so long and still do in many ways, you will not be given the benefit of the doubt. If a girl says you did something, you're done. There is no room for mistakes for boys in this department (nor should there be).

There is no such thing as toxic masculinity.

DP but we must live on different planets. You’ve never experienced toxic masculinity??
Teen girls these days can sniff it out and won’t put up with it. I’m raising teen boys and girls and can tell you these girls are going to run circles around the boys of their generation. I’m raising my boys to keep up with the girls. If I want them married (and I do!), I know they’re going to have to bring something to the table. Manners, common sense, the end of weaponized helplessness, conversation skills (and all the things women of our generation looked for- ambition, smarts, kindness etc).

Toxic feminism is real. Toxic masculinity is a term made up by feminists to feminize men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the same basics as a girl.

Things that are specific to boys:

Toxic masculinity

Pervasive homophobia. The messaging to them is subtly all over the place really as early as K.

When they're older, how to interact with and treat with women. Consent. How to interact online. Huge topics. I have told my son you're not getting any grace in this world. Because men got away with so much BS for so long and still do in many ways, you will not be given the benefit of the doubt. If a girl says you did something, you're done. There is no room for mistakes for boys in this department (nor should there be).

There is no such thing as toxic masculinity.

DP but we must live on different planets. You’ve never experienced toxic masculinity??
Teen girls these days can sniff it out and won’t put up with it. I’m raising teen boys and girls and can tell you these girls are going to run circles around the boys of their generation. I’m raising my boys to keep up with the girls. If I want them married (and I do!), I know they’re going to have to bring something to the table. Manners, common sense, the end of weaponized helplessness, conversation skills (and all the things women of our generation looked for- ambition, smarts, kindness etc).

I don’t. Masculinity isn’t toxic. We need to stop teaching little boys this. We need to stop trying to feminize boys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“only men can raise boys into a man.” Hmmm. I disagree. There are many men out there who were raised by single mothers, including mine. He’s a good man because he’s a good person.

My cousin was raised by a man and he’s a d$&k. He even admits it.

Statistics don’t lie. Kids raised by single mothers are at a serious disadvantage. They are less likely to graduate, more likely to become homeless, more likely to go to prison, etc.

I’m not saying all dads are good and all men raised by single mothers aren’t, but most men need a strong father in their life to guide them and raise them into a man.

Don’t you think some of this is economic? A kid raised by a single mom who is upper class is surely not the same as a kid raised by a single mom who is poor.

Yes but that is due to the breakdown of the nuclear family after the government subsidized single motherhood. Most kids do much better with two parents in the home regardless of economics, gender, or race.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Toy guns should be allowed.
It’s ok to cry and be sensitive but tell him people will judge and it’s best to learn to control emotions.
He needs to carry the bags when he is with women, open doors, take their coats, etc
Ballroom dancing is a good idea
If he is dexterous it’s great
Sports are a good idea

Barf

What exactly made you barf?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“only men can raise boys into a man.” Hmmm. I disagree. There are many men out there who were raised by single mothers, including mine. He’s a good man because he’s a good person.

My cousin was raised by a man and he’s a d$&k. He even admits it.

That’s your personal situation and your cousins. It doesn’t change the fact that majority of kids in fatherless homes are at a disadvantage and need a strong father in the home.

Correct.

All the research statistics back up what PP states.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“only men can raise boys into a man.” Hmmm. I disagree. There are many men out there who were raised by single mothers, including mine. He’s a good man because he’s a good person.

My cousin was raised by a man and he’s a d$&k. He even admits it.

Statistics don’t lie. Kids raised by single mothers are at a serious disadvantage. They are less likely to graduate, more likely to become homeless, more likely to go to prison, etc.

I’m not saying all dads are good and all men raised by single mothers aren’t, but most men need a strong father in their life to guide them and raise them into a man.

I'm glad my son isn't a statistic. It's hard work but focusing on teaching him to be a good person was the way to go. I didn't raise my daughter any differently. They are both successful adults.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“only men can raise boys into a man.” Hmmm. I disagree. There are many men out there who were raised by single mothers, including mine. He’s a good man because he’s a good person.

My cousin was raised by a man and he’s a d$&k. He even admits it.

Statistics don’t lie. Kids raised by single mothers are at a serious disadvantage. They are less likely to graduate, more likely to become homeless, more likely to go to prison, etc.

I’m not saying all dads are good and all men raised by single mothers aren’t, but most men need a strong father in their life to guide them and raise them into a man.

Don’t you think some of this is economic? A kid raised by a single mom who is upper class is surely not the same as a kid raised by a single mom who is poor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the same basics as a girl.

Things that are specific to boys:

Toxic masculinity

Pervasive homophobia. The messaging to them is subtly all over the place really as early as K.

When they're older, how to interact with and treat with women. Consent. How to interact online. Huge topics. I have told my son you're not getting any grace in this world. Because men got away with so much BS for so long and still do in many ways, you will not be given the benefit of the doubt. If a girl says you did something, you're done. There is no room for mistakes for boys in this department (nor should there be).

There is no such thing as toxic masculinity.

DP but we must live on different planets. You’ve never experienced toxic masculinity??
Teen girls these days can sniff it out and won’t put up with it. I’m raising teen boys and girls and can tell you these girls are going to run circles around the boys of their generation. I’m raising my boys to keep up with the girls. If I want them married (and I do!), I know they’re going to have to bring something to the table. Manners, common sense, the end of weaponized helplessness, conversation skills (and all the things women of our generation looked for- ambition, smarts, kindness etc).

Anonymous wrote:“only men can raise boys into a man.” Hmmm. I disagree. There are many men out there who were raised by single mothers, including mine. He’s a good man because he’s a good person.

My cousin was raised by a man and he’s a d$&k. He even admits it.

That’s your personal situation and your cousins. It doesn’t change the fact that majority of kids in fatherless homes are at a disadvantage and need a strong father in the home.

Anonymous wrote:“only men can raise boys into a man.” Hmmm. I disagree. There are many men out there who were raised by single mothers, including mine. He’s a good man because he’s a good person.

My cousin was raised by a man and he’s a d$&k. He even admits it.

Statistics don’t lie. Kids raised by single mothers are at a serious disadvantage. They are less likely to graduate, more likely to become homeless, more likely to go to prison, etc.

I’m not saying all dads are good and all men raised by single mothers aren’t, but most men need a strong father in their life to guide them and raise them into a man.