Anonymous wrote:I just went to a house party where dinner and drinks were provided and it was catered! Huge group, no request for payment. They threw the party because they wanted to.

This is what we do. You make it "back" by being invited to other graciously hosted parties.
But then there ARE the constant incessant bottles of wine and hostess gifts.

Anonymous wrote:We were invited to a party and asked to pay. I’m not offended. They serve really good food, but it’s expensive and none of us are rich. I’d rather pay a little money to be able to spend a fun evening with friends over good food and drink than stay home in front of the tv.

This sounds like a group with the same norms who want to have a little supper club. Seems very different from the OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way.

Have people bring a dish and byob.

Even that is ... not classy. If you're just providing the house then be very clear about that. I am not attending potlucks or paying to attend any parties.

What’s up with the antagonism towards potlucks or bringing a dish? This seems like a new very faux-bougie classist or antisocial millenial-coded thing.

+1

For family or close friends, asking people to bring a dish or dessert etc is perfectly fine. My Great Aunt/Uncle do things this way- they are elderly and enjoy hosting -happy to provide the space and main dish but appreciate help with the rest. They ask the rest of us to bring sides and dessert etc. It is fine. When we have close friends over for a casual meal they often offer to bring an app or dessert and I accept. Why not? Acquaintances are different, but for close friends and family it’s fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are they charging? You know, so we can enjoy this thread more

$75 for food and drinks

NOPE

You're not just a guest, you're a "sponsor"!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way.

Have people bring a dish and byob.

Even that is ... not classy. If you're just providing the house then be very clear about that. I am not attending potlucks or paying to attend any parties.

What’s up with the antagonism towards potlucks or bringing a dish? This seems like a new very faux-bougie classist or antisocial millenial-coded thing.

I just went to a house party where dinner and drinks were provided and it was catered! Huge group, no request for payment. They threw the party because they wanted to.

Tacky AF…. Why are you friends?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are they charging? You know, so we can enjoy this thread more

$75 for food and drinks

OMG now I've heard everything. This is a money making venture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of someone doing this. Absolutely ridiculous when, as the host, you can choose a time and party format that work for your budget. The only time our friend group has done cash contributions for a party was when we moved our usual annual restaurant dinner to someone's house due to covid concerns, and we all split the catering bill.

OP here. When we go out normally, we split the bill. The host invited us to her house for a holiday party but then requested $ to cover food and drinks.

What are they serving, caviar with gold flakes?

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of someone doing this. Absolutely ridiculous when, as the host, you can choose a time and party format that work for your budget. The only time our friend group has done cash contributions for a party was when we moved our usual annual restaurant dinner to someone's house due to covid concerns, and we all split the catering bill.

OP here. When we go out normally, we split the bill. The host invited us to her house for a holiday party but then requested $ to cover food and drinks.

Anonymous wrote:How much are they charging? You know, so we can enjoy this thread more

$75 for food and drinks

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel for your OP, this happened to me once and I had no idea until I showed up! I offered to pay my friend's DH through the pants as they say and they waived my fee. I've never been back.

You offered to perform a sex act on the host at a holiday party?!

Not at the party but another time. He kept contacting me for a few weeks after but I never responded. He was tall and hot though so somtimes I wish I had.

Well this took a turn.

Yikes... I was assuming "pay through the the pants" was a typo or a figure of speech for something less... slutty

Anonymous wrote:No way.

Have people bring a dish and byob.

Even that is ... not classy. If you're just providing the house then be very clear about that. I am not attending potlucks or paying to attend any parties.

It's only okay if they're raising money for charity. If the hosts are asking because they can't afford to entertain, they should scale it down or just stop.