yes i grew up poor. very poor. We experienced homelessness. I have kids in college. we are paying their way 100%. One goes out of state so it’s expensive. Yes we got our kids tutors when they struggled. yes we sent them to camp. even sent them to camp in Germany over the summers to supplement their German language classes in public schools. yes we did travel sports, one of my kids was a recruited Athlete, but didn’t want to play in college so he passed on that. We are fortunate to be in a position where we don’t need the scholarship money.

we took them skiing each winter since they were small and still do take them on vacations even through they are in college. We bought them new cars when they turned 16 to get them the safest tech. I got one a coveted internship last summer. He got a job offer afterwards and the company asked him to stay on part time while he finishes his senior year as an engineering major. he makes $50/hr working 10hrs a week from his apartment continuing to build his resume. Though i got him the internship, it was his performance that landed him a PT job while he finishes the school year and has landed him
his first job out of school making 6 figures.

The money we have spent has paid off well.

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

your friend is an idiot. she might have just had a baby, but i have kids in college and she’s a complete dumbass.

Anonymous wrote:hah, you'd laugh at us then. We pay $86 x 3 for private lessons a week. Two kids do tennis, one does gymnastics. We also paid for them to take private skiing and snowboarding lessons back when they were first learning.

However, it actually makes a huge difference in outcome. My daughter was struggling to get her back handspring with a year's worth of group lessons. Nails it in one month of 2 private lessons a week. Now is moving on to a roundoff back tuck. With the skiing - now they can all keep up on black diamond trails. Makes family ski trips more fun for everyone.

Anyway, our fixed expenses are low (no mortgage or other debt) and we make more than enough money to afford all of this so I don't see the problem with it.

It’s the little things I guess. How do you have no mortgage? Family help or you paid it off? How much mortgage did you have and good old are you?

hah, you'd laugh at us then. We pay $86 x 3 for private lessons a week. Two kids do tennis, one does gymnastics. We also paid for them to take private skiing and snowboarding lessons back when they were first learning.

However, it actually makes a huge difference in outcome. My daughter was struggling to get her back handspring with a year's worth of group lessons. Nails it in one month of 2 private lessons a week. Now is moving on to a roundoff back tuck. With the skiing - now they can all keep up on black diamond trails. Makes family ski trips more fun for everyone.

Anyway, our fixed expenses are low (no mortgage or other debt) and we make more than enough money to afford all of this so I don't see the problem with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

Dumbdedumm. It’s so blue collar thinking to not value education.
Does he think his kids will just be lucky and land in fortunate circumstances like he did? 400k isn’t enough to trust fund his kid, so what’s his plan? Or is that too UMC for him to consider?

College is only like 50k per year or less in most cases. So you can just pay for it, like other expenses, without needing to "save" for it. I think it's crazy when I read about how "blue collar" it is not to save for it. It's not a big enough expense to require saving.

It's blue collar thinking to forego straightforward, tax preferred savings vehicles for expected expenses.

There's no federal tax deduction

Growth is tax free- that is a massive benefit

and generally no state tax deduction for people in the highest tax categories.

that is just wrong

The only advantage is tax free growth.

that can be 10s of thousands of dollars worth of growth

And 529s don't tend to have great growth performance

my 529 is in the same vanguard funds as my IRA with the same fee structure

so there's opportunity cost, and the risk of overfunding.

then you roll it into a Roth IRA or keep it there and your grand kids have an extra 20 years of growth and college paid for from birth

I don't think funding a 529 is as straightforward for people earning a lot of money. Took a lump sum and funded 529s from the standpoint of risk management-- what if we lose everything type scenario. But as a matter of financial management, it can make a lot of sense for families to just pay for college each year without saving.

You sound like someone who is terrified of the market and that's fine, but compound growth is what sustains family wealth

The $10K you invested 20 years ago for YOUR kid and didn't need for college, could easily be most of the first grandkid's college education. If you are really that wealthy that you "can cash flow college" then you should want to save in advance for future grandkids, knowing that it can always be transferred to "family members" so other grand kids, nieces, nephews, etc should there not be grandkids.

I pay for that stuff not because we "have" to but because we want to. Isn't that part of making a lot of money? The joy of spending it on stuff that makes you feel good? We pay for our kids to take private lessons in their chosen sport, private school, tutors when needed, etc. We'll pay 100% of their educations. We are now saving with the purpose of giving them DP money to buy a home someday. They will need the help, with the way things are going.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

Dumbdedumm. It’s so blue collar thinking to not value education.
Does he think his kids will just be lucky and land in fortunate circumstances like he did? 400k isn’t enough to trust fund his kid, so what’s his plan? Or is that too UMC for him to consider?

College is only like 50k per year or less in most cases. So you can just pay for it, like other expenses, without needing to "save" for it. I think it's crazy when I read about how "blue collar" it is not to save for it. It's not a big enough expense to require saving.

It's blue collar thinking to forego straightforward, tax preferred savings vehicles for expected expenses.

There's no federal tax deduction and generally no state tax deduction for people in the highest tax categories. The only advantage is tax free growth. And 529s don't tend to have great growth performance so there's opportunity cost, and the risk of overfunding. I don't think funding a 529 is as straightforward for people earning a lot of money. Took a lump sum and funded 529s from the standpoint of risk management-- what if we lose everything type scenario. But as a matter of financial management, it can make a lot of sense for families to just pay for college each year without saving.

Why does your 529 not have "good growth opportunities"? Majority do, as long as you pick the funds yourself and do not do the "my kid has X years until starting college". The tax benefits from tax free growth is huge. We aimed to underfund, but in reality if you are worth that much, just fund as you see fit, and leave the rest in for future generations. The 50K left in my one kid's 529 could be enough in 25+ years for one grandkid to go to college, all while it's in aggressive growth funds for now and we don't pay taxes. So the $10K we put in 15+ years ago will pay for a grandkids full college most likely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

Dumbdedumm. It’s so blue collar thinking to not value education.
Does he think his kids will just be lucky and land in fortunate circumstances like he did? 400k isn’t enough to trust fund his kid, so what’s his plan? Or is that too UMC for him to consider?

College is only like 50k per year or less in most cases. So you can just pay for it, like other expenses, without needing to "save" for it. I think it's crazy when I read about how "blue collar" it is not to save for it. It's not a big enough expense to require saving.

For 99% of people, it is a big enough expense. I live in the 1% range, so most of my friends can do that, but I'm smart enough to realize that is not the norm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

Dumbdedumm. It’s so blue collar thinking to not value education.
Does he think his kids will just be lucky and land in fortunate circumstances like he did? 400k isn’t enough to trust fund his kid, so what’s his plan? Or is that too UMC for him to consider?

College is only like 50k per year or less in most cases. So you can just pay for it, like other expenses, without needing to "save" for it. I think it's crazy when I read about how "blue collar" it is not to save for it. It's not a big enough expense to require saving.

It's blue collar thinking to forego straightforward, tax preferred savings vehicles for expected expenses.

There's no federal tax deduction and generally no state tax deduction for people in the highest tax categories. The only advantage is tax free growth. And 529s don't tend to have great growth performance so there's opportunity cost, and the risk of overfunding. I don't think funding a 529 is as straightforward for people earning a lot of money. Took a lump sum and funded 529s from the standpoint of risk management-- what if we lose everything type scenario. But as a matter of financial management, it can make a lot of sense for families to just pay for college each year without saving.

Typical blue collar thinking. Relying on rumor and hunches rather than doing research and analysis. You're wrong on virtually every point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

Dumbdedumm. It’s so blue collar thinking to not value education.
Does he think his kids will just be lucky and land in fortunate circumstances like he did? 400k isn’t enough to trust fund his kid, so what’s his plan? Or is that too UMC for him to consider?

College is only like 50k per year or less in most cases. So you can just pay for it, like other expenses, without needing to "save" for it. I think it's crazy when I read about how "blue collar" it is not to save for it. It's not a big enough expense to require saving.

It's blue collar thinking to forego straightforward, tax preferred savings vehicles for expected expenses.

There's no federal tax deduction

Growth is tax free- that is a massive benefit

and generally no state tax deduction for people in the highest tax categories.

that is just wrong

The only advantage is tax free growth.

that can be 10s of thousands of dollars worth of growth

And 529s don't tend to have great growth performance

my 529 is in the same vanguard funds as my IRA with the same fee structure

so there's opportunity cost, and the risk of overfunding.

then you roll it into a Roth IRA or keep it there and your grand kids have an extra 20 years of growth and college paid for from birth

I don't think funding a 529 is as straightforward for people earning a lot of money. Took a lump sum and funded 529s from the standpoint of risk management-- what if we lose everything type scenario. But as a matter of financial management, it can make a lot of sense for families to just pay for college each year without saving.

You sound like someone who is terrified of the market and that's fine, but compound growth is what sustains family wealth

I turned out well but it wasn’t easy and I struggled in ways I would never want my kids to have to experience. I’m also the only one of four kids that turned out successful or truly able to take care of myself and family. I know exactly what to prioritize with money for my kids to give them the life they deserve. Health and education are the most important priorities. I want my kids to have experiences, rather than things. I spend on things that help them find and nurture their talents as well as experiences as a family. We travel a lot and it’s definitely a luxury but one that teaches my kids a lot and will be memories we have for life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to joining the local swim club, sending my kid to interesting camps - kayaking, coding, drones, cooking, etc, trying out various sports, and paying for swim and ski lessons, tutoring as needed, etc.

Also yes to lots of travel and experiences - theater, sports games, skiing, variety of dining - though I enjoy and benefit from those things too.

No to tons of toys, things like unlimited robux, excessive designer clothes and shoes.

The plethora of camps, lessons, and experiences are what breaks the bank, not unlimited robux or designer clothes (most umc kids wear knockoffs or just normal clothes). The newly umc, especially young gen x/old millennial ones, think they’re helping their kids by gorging them on mostly useless camps and experiences but they’re mostly wasteful, not enlightening, and branded commodities/stuff like any other.

They are pricey, but they are better than leaving them at home on screens or getting into trouble and worth the upgrade from the local ymca or county camps if you need a daycare solution over the summer assuming both parents work. The experiences make them more well rounded and the social sports - tennis, golf, skiing, etc are good for a lifetime.

Anonymous wrote:I spend nothing on my kids other than aftercare.
I don't care of they go to college or not, but they got to get the heck out of the house at some point after 18/19.
I wanted nothing when I was poor and having money didn't change that a whole lot. My kids also want nothing. Well, maybe video games.

You sound poor though and your kids are destined to stay poor.

No, I don’t. One of the best christmases that I remember was when I was 10 and my mom went to a thrift store and picked out gifts she really thought we would like. I felt so loved that year. I don’t want my kids getting spooked like their friends.

Anonymous wrote:Yes to joining the local swim club, sending my kid to interesting camps - kayaking, coding, drones, cooking, etc, trying out various sports, and paying for swim and ski lessons, tutoring as needed, etc.

Also yes to lots of travel and experiences - theater, sports games, skiing, variety of dining - though I enjoy and benefit from those things too.

No to tons of toys, things like unlimited robux, excessive designer clothes and shoes.

The plethora of camps, lessons, and experiences are what breaks the bank, not unlimited robux or designer clothes (most umc kids wear knockoffs or just normal clothes). The newly umc, especially young gen x/old millennial ones, think they’re helping their kids by gorging them on mostly useless camps and experiences but they’re mostly wasteful, not enlightening, and branded commodities/stuff like any other.