Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ PP - I apologize for the snarky comment and am truly happy for your daughter.

The focus on DCUM about getting into a T20 is crazy.

Yes, but nowhere in the original post or responses did anyone specify T20. Congrats to those of you who don't worry. Some of us do stress about where our child will spend four years, and about how much it will cost, and about whether it's the right fit, or whether they will thrive there. We also try to steel ourselves if our kids are really disappointed, trying to plan in advance the best way to support them. These things can be stressful even if you don't care about a single school, or what level school it is. It is not the mark of crazy competitive parenting to feel some stress around this. Nor is it a mark of superior (or inferior) parenting not to be worried at all.

Yes. This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I never felt that way when our DD was waiting for her results. Maybe we’re the outliers?

I never did either. My kid applied to schools he could get into and got into all of them. More people should do the same and chill.

Almost same. 2 yes Safeties already. Waiting on 2 others-her favorite and a reach.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks.

My kid just got notified that he has one acceptance on the way, so I’m not nervous any more. I hope you all get good news soon, too. Remember, all your kid needs is one acceptance.

And, seriously, if they don't? It isn't the end of the world. They can go to community college and work and apply for spring semester.

It might not be the path they wanted, but we need to stop framing these things as 'life and death'. It's no wonder there is such a HUGE amount of mental health issues in teens/young adults.

They are young. They have their entire life ahead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re not stressed at all. He’s in at the in-state option, which is perfectly good and affordable. My kid knows it’s up to him to work hard and make his own life happen. He’s not dependent being at the “perfect” school. If he gets into a reach, great. But there’s no guarantee his outcomes would be any better compared to State U. Research suggests it doesn’t matter either way - it’s all about the kid and their approach to life.

You didn't feel any stress before he got accepted?

If you apply EA, you are accepted and get results within a few weeks. There is not enough time between applying and getting the acceptance for any stress to build up. In my DC's case, high achieving student with impeccable stats and ECs, so we did not think he would not be accepted in the in-State public flagship. It is really great to be in and it takes away all stress.

- DP.

Ummm. No. My son put his application for EA in September and they don't release results until 12/15. Where are you getting a few weeks?

Many kids did not like any schools with 'rolling admissions'. So there is a wait. He didn't see the need to apply to a school to get an acceptance when he had zero intention of ever attending. Luckily, he's never stressed--or at least doesn't show it.

I don't talk about it or impending date. He has a few RDs left to turn in, but pretty chill about it. I know I will likely get that 'nervous feeling' on the 15th--just because it's there and the first--but it's not stress.

Some kids really drag their feet on supplementals, etc. I can see why there could be stress in a house. Not all kids have the same personalities either--some are prone to anxiety and are more tense by nature.

I always thought it was such a d*chebag thing to answer a post like "OPs" with some of the sanctimonious responses. Good lord. Good luck to everyone!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wow the stress levels are through the roof and maintaining a calm, rational vibe is super tough when I feel the anxiety as well.

My thoughts are with all of us that are hoping for the results our kids are hoping for and the strength and calmness to navigate.

If I could heart this, I would!

Ditto!

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I never felt that way when our DD was waiting for her results. Maybe we’re the outliers?

I never did either. My kid applied to schools he could get into and got into all of them. More people should do the same and chill.

Thanks.

My kid just got notified that he has one acceptance on the way, so I’m not nervous any more. I hope you all get good news soon, too. Remember, all your kid needs is one acceptance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re not stressed at all. He’s in at the in-state option, which is perfectly good and affordable. My kid knows it’s up to him to work hard and make his own life happen. He’s not dependent being at the “perfect” school. If he gets into a reach, great. But there’s no guarantee his outcomes would be any better compared to State U. Research suggests it doesn’t matter either way - it’s all about the kid and their approach to life.

You didn't feel any stress before he got accepted?

If you apply EA, you are accepted and get results within a few weeks. There is not enough time between applying and getting the acceptance for any stress to build up. In my DC's case, high achieving student with impeccable stats and ECs, so we did not think he would not be accepted in the in-State public flagship. It is really great to be in and it takes away all stress.

- DP.

Impeccable stats? People really talk like this??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ PP - I apologize for the snarky comment and am truly happy for your daughter.

The focus on DCUM about getting into a T20 is crazy.

Yes, but nowhere in the original post or responses did anyone specify T20. Congrats to those of you who don't worry. Some of us do stress about where our child will spend four years, and about how much it will cost, and about whether it's the right fit, or whether they will thrive there. We also try to steel ourselves if our kids are really disappointed, trying to plan in advance the best way to support them. These things can be stressful even if you don't care about a single school, or what level school it is. It is not the mark of crazy competitive parenting to feel some stress around this. Nor is it a mark of superior (or inferior) parenting not to be worried at all.

I had put in a lot of work with my kids from K-8. I however became a super chilled mom from 9-12. They were on cruise control. I always encouraged them to get excellent grades and aim for state schools. So while my kids were very competitive in terms of their stats and ECs, they were aiming to go close to home. Especially after COVID years, the appetite to go far from home evaporated from them. Financially also, we were over-prepared. The stress had actually happened in their childhood years when we worried about their future and we also made far less money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wow the stress levels are through the roof and maintaining a calm, rational vibe is super tough when I feel the anxiety as well.

My thoughts are with all of us that are hoping for the results our kids are hoping for and the strength and calmness to navigate.

It's even worse for those of us with kids IN COLLEGE. One DD fainted and was hospitalized and is home with a concussion, taking incompletes. The other is calling stressed out in the middle of the night.

Finals week. It's been hell.

I did not realize that it was finals week. Oh poor babies!!

Well, technically it's the week BEFORE finals week, although my middle of the night stressed out DD had one final and a major presentation today. She said she did well on both, so whew. Two down and three to go. Wondering how many times I'm going to be awakened from a dead sleep between now and next week.

I’m not stressed that my daughter won’t be successful wherever she ends up. I’m stressed about the not knowing and the anticipation of her disappointment and perhaps some feels about not being accepted while her friends know where they are going.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wow the stress levels are through the roof and maintaining a calm, rational vibe is super tough when I feel the anxiety as well.

My thoughts are with all of us that are hoping for the results our kids are hoping for and the strength and calmness to navigate.

It's even worse for those of us with kids IN COLLEGE. One DD fainted and was hospitalized and is home with a concussion, taking incompletes. The other is calling stressed out in the middle of the night.

Finals week. It's been hell.

I did not realize that it was finals week. Oh poor babies!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re not stressed at all. He’s in at the in-state option, which is perfectly good and affordable. My kid knows it’s up to him to work hard and make his own life happen. He’s not dependent being at the “perfect” school. If he gets into a reach, great. But there’s no guarantee his outcomes would be any better compared to State U. Research suggests it doesn’t matter either way - it’s all about the kid and their approach to life.

You didn't feel any stress before he got accepted?

If you apply EA, you are accepted and get results within a few weeks. There is not enough time between applying and getting the acceptance for any stress to build up. In my DC's case, high achieving student with impeccable stats and ECs, so we did not think he would not be accepted in the in-State public flagship. It is really great to be in and it takes away all stress.

- DP.

Anonymous wrote:DS got into his safeties over the weekend (UMW and Radford) so we have collectively breathed a sigh of relief.

UMW = Universoty of Mary Washington? Did he apply EA?

Anonymous wrote:wow the stress levels are through the roof and maintaining a calm, rational vibe is super tough when I feel the anxiety as well.

My thoughts are with all of us that are hoping for the results our kids are hoping for and the strength and calmness to navigate.

It's even worse for those of us with kids IN COLLEGE. One DD fainted and was hospitalized and is home with a concussion, taking incompletes. The other is calling stressed out in the middle of the night.

Finals week. It's been hell.