Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just thinking about this today. We spend about $200-$250 a kid. The oldest will graduate college this year. She still provides me with a list and I’m happy to shop from it. But at what point do you stop buying expensive gifts for Christmas? Is it college graduation, 25 or 30? Where does it end?

I would love somebody to help with this question...I have a 23 and 25 year old and I think its time to dial back the presents but not sure what is "normal" for this age group....

My oldest is 23 and we still buy Christmas presents, but the aunts and uncles stop after 21. We do ask for lists from our kids (I tell them around Halloween that I'll be asking for them around Thanksgiving), but they don't ask for extravagant things. The lists tend to contain two kinds of items, specific for stuff where they're the experts ("Model X size Y sticky gloves") or general ideas for things we know more about ("A basic cookbook").

My parents bought me presents for years. I don't know when they stopped -- maybe when we had children and were overwhelmed by all the stuff everywhere. But then they changed to giving us money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there's any normal or not normal in this situation. It depends on what your family dynamics and customs are.

On one side we always exchange lists - even my 70 yo MIL sends one.

Agree with you completely.

+2

Anonymous wrote:Is it so CRAZY to think that if people want to give thoughtful gifts it's on THEM to actually know the person and have a general idea of what they might need or want? This culture of asking for lists is quite disgusting and wasteful in my opinion. Yes, I am WOKE and it's not the insult you think it is!

But they don’t. It’s wasteful to send random things that will end up in the trash. Gifting things that are wanted is not wasteful.

Anonymous wrote:How rare or common do you think it is for adult children, 25 or older, to send Christmas wish lists to parents— when parents do not ask for lists?

It just depends on the parents and the family. Each family has their own dynamic obviously.

That is crazy. IMO.

Is it so CRAZY to think that if people want to give thoughtful gifts it's on THEM to actually know the person and have a general idea of what they might need or want? This culture of asking for lists is quite disgusting and wasteful in my opinion. Yes, I am WOKE and it's not the insult you think it is!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is 80 and sends us Christmas wishlists!

This isn't cute like you think it is.

Your nastiness is so unattractive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 47. My parents have asked me what I want for Christmas and bought me a gift off that list every year of my life. About three of those years I’ve told them before they asked what I‘d like. I don’t think it is presumptuous to assume that they will continue to do what they have done my entire life.

You seriously need/want gifts from your parents at 47? Time to grow up.

I’m sorry you’re such a miserable person. Must be hard for those around you. DP

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is 80 and sends us Christmas wishlists!

This isn't cute like you think it is.

We share our Amazon wish list with our DC, everyone gets something, everybody’s happy. Finis

Anonymous wrote:I’m 47. My parents have asked me what I want for Christmas and bought me a gift off that list every year of my life. About three of those years I’ve told them before they asked what I‘d like. I don’t think it is presumptuous to assume that they will continue to do what they have done my entire life.

You seriously need/want gifts from your parents at 47? Time to grow up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just thinking about this today. We spend about $200-$250 a kid. The oldest will graduate college this year. She still provides me with a list and I’m happy to shop from it. But at what point do you stop buying expensive gifts for Christmas? Is it college graduation, 25 or 30? Where does it end?

I would love somebody to help with this question...I have a 23 and 25 year old and I think its time to dial back the presents but not sure what is "normal" for this age group....

It's whenever you want. You can make an announcement to your family that this year Santa is bringing much less or just slowly ratchet down over time, whichever you prefer.

My 30 YO DC sends a detailed list. It's very helpful as I would rather not waste money on things DC doesn't want. We are still pretty generous at Christmas so might as well get something they want. And we don't just do cash because opening gifts is a part of our holiday tradition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just thinking about this today. We spend about $200-$250 a kid. The oldest will graduate college this year. She still provides me with a list and I’m happy to shop from it. But at what point do you stop buying expensive gifts for Christmas? Is it college graduation, 25 or 30? Where does it end?

I would love somebody to help with this question...I have a 23 and 25 year old and I think its time to dial back the presents but not sure what is "normal" for this age group....

My oldest is 20, so not there yet...but why don't you just decide what works for your family. There's not a universal wrong or right. If you think it's time to dial back, then dial back.

My parents started dialing back once we graduated college and started working. That happened to coincide with SOs entering the picture so the total money was 'split.' Once grandkids came they got the bulk, which I think is appropriate. My mom has passed now and I really appreciate her gifts that I have. Some were misses, but it was always evident she tried.

My expectation is that my parents dialed back while I dialed up - as my resources increased, their gifts got better.

My MIL doesn’t ask for a list, but sends her 51 year old son a very large package full with random items - last year it included a few baking mixes, a gigantic snowman spatula, a snowman sweater, a mini waffle maker, a cat blanket (we own a dog), a Disney puzzle, and old Halloween candy. I got a mug and Lipton tea.

I texted her this year that no gifts are needed, but that if she is planning on sending any, to please ask me for suggestions for DH. She never responded and the new Xmas gift package has just arrived. Have I mentioned we live in 1200 square feet with 4 people?

Next year I will be submitting an unsolicited list with items for DH.