Anonymous wrote:if she gets money as presents from some relatives, she can decide if she really wants to spend it on that. funny how much you HAVE to HAVE something depends on whether or not you are spending your own money.
This!! It’s been remarkably helpful over time for my now 16 yo. She’s learning through experience what’s “worth it” to her and what’s not.
Of course there are similar trade-offs when we purchase them one thing instead of another. But teens seem to understand and internalize the ideas of trade-offs and delayed gratification much better when THEY are the ones making the big decision using a cash gift. And if they regret their decision later or wish they had that money back for something else in a month or two? Again, better that it was their purchase so they feel that and can learn from it Experiential learning for the win.