Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been insistent since we got married that he stay over at his parents house for a few days at Thanksgiving.

We do not have children yet.

I feel like...what about our own traditions?

Your tradition? What will the two of you do alone on Thanksgiving? Go to Denny’s?

NP. That's a rather narrow-minded statement. It's just me and my husband on Thanksgiving, and that's the way we like it. We cook up a storm and then relax. The menu, the timing, everything is under our control and it's heaven.

So like every other day of the week, then?

We did before I was pregnant and couldn't comfortably travel. Then we had our own kids so would stay with them every other year.

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been insistent since we got married that he stay over at his parents house for a few days at Thanksgiving.

We do not have children yet.

I feel like...what about our own traditions?

Your tradition? What will the two of you do alone on Thanksgiving? Go to Denny’s?

NP. That's a rather narrow-minded statement. It's just me and my husband on Thanksgiving, and that's the way we like it. We cook up a storm and then relax. The menu, the timing, everything is under our control and it's heaven.

Only because we are not local to either set of parents. But we also don’t travel in thanksgiving because it’s a nightmare. Both sets have not great guest accommodations. Kids have to share an itty bitty room with a twin with a trundle, one is a teen, one is early elementary and the mattress is leftover from when my spouse was a kid (mid 40s now) and the other room has a full size bed…my husband is 6’8”, there isn’t room for both of us in the bed. Similar at my parents though at least there the kids have separate beds with mattresses purchased sometime in this century. Double bed there too though.

White people problem.

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been insistent since we got married that he stay over at his parents house for a few days at Thanksgiving.

We do not have children yet.

I feel like...what about our own traditions? :shock:

Your tradition? What will the two of you do alone on Thanksgiving? Go to Denny’s?

If they want to do this, so what?

Yes we stay with them and they stay with us when they come down. Thanksgiving is a time for family.

OP, we need more information. If your ILs are local and your husband goes and stays there with you you, that is a problem. If you both travel to them for occasional holidays, that is very normal as long as you rotate with your family and also occasionally don’t travel so that you can also do some things on your own. If your husband expects to you spend all holidays with just his family, that, too, is a problem.

Yes we did until kids came along and then we got a hotel.

Out of all the holidays, isn’t Thanksgiving the one that is most about being with other people? It’s literally all about the big meal with family and friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been insistent since we got married that he stay over at his parents house for a few days at Thanksgiving.

We do not have children yet.

I feel like...what about our own traditions?

Your traditions? How about the value of extended family? This can be a nice tradition. This can set the tone for the future, how involved do you want them to be as grandparents? Relationship are a two way street.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. They have two twin beds in two guest bedrooms. Same mattresses my 45 year old DH grew up on. Twin beds were tough when my kids were small and wanted to snuggle in bed together. They won’t upgrade one set of beds to a queen or king—I guess they think their 3 married sons are all virgins. FIL keeps Fox News blaring from 5 am to midnight. The constant noise makes me crazy (I have to talk directly into my kids’ ears for them to hear me) plus…it’s Fox. We stay in a hotel, and believe me, hotels are hard to come by in that part of the country.

+1. My parents are the same way. I always get a hotel when I visit. The kids stay there sometimes, but I can’t do it.

We also stay at a hotel when visiting MIL. I need space to myself after visiting all day.

I make my in laws come to us. We go to them at Christmas ON MY TERMS. You need to set boundaries ASAP. Especially before you have children.

Yes, we're a long drive/flight away from both sets of parents so we typically stay with them unless too many other people are visiting at the same time and then we'll do a hotel/Airbnb.

We mix it up like the other poster mentioned. I never wanted to be nailed down to an expected routine. We travel and they come to us. I've taken Christmas on the road for our three kids more times than I can count. Once the kids got into school traveling for Thanksgiving became a bear

No, but we got a condo near them and stay there.