Anonymous
11/21/2023 11:42
Subject: Re:If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
"I have spent years in construction."
Anonymous
11/21/2023 11:31
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
I just say I’m a freeloading mooch who provides chauffeur services to a surly tween. When we lived overseas, I said I was a freelance tourist.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 11:23
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t just say you’re retired. This is really weird.
Op here: this is my view but not my spouse’s. We are both retired and we have minor children. I saw I’m retired but he doesn’t like how that sounds. But I am…I prefer it over stay at home parent because my kids are late teens and saying “retired” relays the information that I previously worked, which is more accurate.
We were recently at an appointment and we’re asked about our employment. I said retired. Spouse said manages real estate.
Oh, it’s you again. By your definition, any woman who used to work outside the home but decided to quit working and stay home isn’t a stay at home parent - they’re retired. You have a weird issue with that.
So far as I’m concerned, you’re not retired. Sorry. Retired to me means you can walk out the door tomorrow and go anywhere and do anything you want, unencumbered by the grounding schedules of your minor children. Every day that you remain responsible for child care you are not retired, even when child care doesn’t involve changing diapers.
I’m not sure why this is so difficult for you to accept. Your continued insistence that you are somehow different than millions of other women who quit working while you still have kids at home may make you feel better, but it’s not reality.
DP: I'm not sure why it's so difficult for you to accept that PP can be considered retired by many common definitions. Especially since her DH is also retired--do you feel the need to call him a SAHP too?
He’s not calling himself retired. She is.
He says he manages their real estate which is sort of made up--since she likely does the same and it's passive so he's likely at home as much as she is taking care of family.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 11:13
Subject: Re:If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DH says he is retired or semi retired. Then a million looks, and other questions follow. It’s annoying in that it is sexist. Everyone expects a 49 year old man to still be employed but it’s okay if a woman same age is a SAHM/unemployed.
A SAHM is not unemployed. She is just not being paid for in money for what she does for her family. No one is in doubt what a SAHM does when they ask her what she does.
Yes being a SAHM is unemployment.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 11:11
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
Anonymous wrote:Philanthropy, stated with a suitable affect.
Haha. I have an aunt who calls herself a philanthropist. She gives a little bit to a lot of non profits and goes to galas. She does not volunteer or sit on any boards.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 11:09
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
I know a mid 30s SAHM who says she’s a retired lawyer when asked. I think she does some part time work on the side but whatever.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 11:07
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
Philanthropy, stated with a suitable affect.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 11:02
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t just say you’re retired. This is really weird.
Op here: this is my view but not my spouse’s. We are both retired and we have minor children. I saw I’m retired but he doesn’t like how that sounds. But I am…I prefer it over stay at home parent because my kids are late teens and saying “retired” relays the information that I previously worked, which is more accurate.
We were recently at an appointment and we’re asked about our employment. I said retired. Spouse said manages real estate.
Oh, it’s you again. By your definition, any woman who used to work outside the home but decided to quit working and stay home isn’t a stay at home parent - they’re retired. You have a weird issue with that.
So far as I’m concerned, you’re not retired. Sorry. Retired to me means you can walk out the door tomorrow and go anywhere and do anything you want, unencumbered by the grounding schedules of your minor children. Every day that you remain responsible for child care you are not retired, even when child care doesn’t involve changing diapers.
I’m not sure why this is so difficult for you to accept. Your continued insistence that you are somehow different than millions of other women who quit working while you still have kids at home may make you feel better, but it’s not reality.
DP: I'm not sure why it's so difficult for you to accept that PP can be considered retired by many common definitions. Especially since her DH is also retired--do you feel the need to call him a SAHP too?
He’s not calling himself retired. She is.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 11:00
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t just say you’re retired. This is really weird.
Op here: this is my view but not my spouse’s. We are both retired and we have minor children. I saw I’m retired but he doesn’t like how that sounds. But I am…I prefer it over stay at home parent because my kids are late teens and saying “retired” relays the information that I previously worked, which is more accurate.
We were recently at an appointment and we’re asked about our employment. I said retired. Spouse said manages real estate.
Oh, it’s you again. By your definition, any woman who used to work outside the home but decided to quit working and stay home isn’t a stay at home parent - they’re retired. You have a weird issue with that.
So far as I’m concerned, you’re not retired. Sorry. Retired to me means you can walk out the door tomorrow and go anywhere and do anything you want, unencumbered by the grounding schedules of your minor children. Every day that you remain responsible for child care you are not retired, even when child care doesn’t involve changing diapers.
I’m not sure why this is so difficult for you to accept. Your continued insistence that you are somehow different than millions of other women who quit working while you still have kids at home may make you feel better, but it’s not reality.
DP: I'm not sure why it's so difficult for you to accept that PP can be considered retired by many common definitions. Especially since her DH is also retired--do you feel the need to call him a SAHP too?
Anonymous
11/21/2023 10:55
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
Anonymous wrote:Because you’re not “retired” at 49. You just quit and don’t plan to go back. Which is fine. But it’s not what people mean when they say retired. Retirement is for elderly people. You can’t retire at 35 or 49.
Merriam Webster would beg to differ: to withdraw from one's position or occupation : conclude one's working or professional career
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/retire
Anonymous
11/21/2023 10:50
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 and have been early retired for 5 years now (female). I invested very early in my career and now live off $120,000 yearly dividends. No debt. When people ask me, I just say worked hard, invested well, and live below my means.
But….I live in an area now with a lot of affluent retirees. So most folks don’t ask. Many of us in the same financial circumstance.
So
Is your plan to leave a lot to your kids?
I don’t get why people think that is good for kids.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 10:09
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
Such a bunch of weirdos on DCUM. If you are retired, say you are retired. What are you afraid of??
Anonymous
11/21/2023 10:08
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 and have been early retired for 5 years now (female). I invested very early in my career and now live off $120,000 yearly dividends. No debt. When people ask me, I just say worked hard, invested well, and live below my means.
But….I live in an area now with a lot of affluent retirees. So most folks don’t ask. Many of us in the same financial circumstance.
Would love to know what's in your portfolio!
Anonymous
11/21/2023 10:04
Subject: Re:If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DH says he is retired or semi retired. Then a million looks, and other questions follow. It’s annoying in that it is sexist. Everyone expects a 49 year old man to still be employed but it’s okay if a woman same age is a SAHM/unemployed.
A SAHM is not unemployed. She is just not being paid for in money for what she does for her family. No one is in doubt what a SAHM does when they ask her what she does.
Pickleball.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 09:04
Subject: If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?
I say I am a SAHM.