why don't you just tell your peeps to leave you out of the loop? I'd be like Bye Felicia, have a nice life.

OMG, just throw it out if you don't care.

DH and I had a short engagement and when we sent invites without sending a STD, everyone assumed I was pregnant and it was a shotgun wedding (I was not).

OP it’s a courtesy call so you can save the date for yourself from the event. It gives you time to plan your excuse. Win-win.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would really like for OP to come back and explain her reasoning here.

Was she under the impression she was being ordered to save the date and attend?

I would guess that she doesn’t like it because she doesn’t have an excuse then to decline the wedding, since she knew about it a year in advance.

DP here. This is it. And it’s presumably from someone she doesn’t like, but has the sort of relationship where she’d be expected to attend. Maybe a cousin or in-laws?

Save the date people! I am getting up from my couch in 5 minutes to take a pee. Everyone is invited!

Anonymous wrote:I would really like for OP to come back and explain her reasoning here.

Was she under the impression she was being ordered to save the date and attend?

I would guess that she doesn’t like it because she doesn’t have an excuse then to decline the wedding, since she knew about it a year in advance.

I would really like for OP to come back and explain her reasoning here.

Was she under the impression she was being ordered to save the date and attend?

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I was going to post that it was very rude of you to include a photo of the actual card but after refreshing it turns out it was a targeted ad!

LOL that would be terrible and hilarious! Poor couple !

Anonymous wrote:They make sense to me. I make a lot of plans a year in advance. I think it is thoughtful. I don’t have to cancel camps or reschedule vacation if I know about a wedding in advance.

Same. In some cases I might plan a longer vacation around a wedding in California or another location that requires a flight etc.

Some people have to take leave well in advance (doctors etc).

I couldn't even have imagined some people are bothered by this until this thread! No one is making you "reserve" it if you are so popular that competing events pop up. That's why they're not making you RSVP a year in advance...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think save the date announcements are good to help people plan. But Miss Manners always says if you accept one invitation you can’t cancel just because you receive a better offer later. So there is some pressure on guests if they learn about a wedding very early. Makes it harder to decline later. But I still think they are a good idea, and not arrogant.

The Save the Date is not the invitation! You are definitely not committed after receiving the save the date.

+1. The invitation is what you respond to. A save the date is simply letting you know there is an upcoming event you may or may not want to plan on going to. It’s so inoffensive I can hardly believe it would bother anyone.

Anonymous wrote:Arrogant? You have issues OP. Sorry, you do. These people are simply planning an event that they clearly yet mysteriously want YOU to attend. Do them a favor and decline the invite. You're not a real friend.

This is the truth.

Anonymous wrote:I love them. The normal amount of time with regular invitations isn’t enough time to plan in advance for busy families.

Correct. For those who WANT to attend they are helpful. OP clearly resents the “claim” on her time.

I love them. The normal amount of time with regular invitations isn’t enough time to plan in advance for busy families.

Anonymous wrote:I think save the date announcements are good to help people plan. But Miss Manners always says if you accept one invitation you can’t cancel just because you receive a better offer later. So there is some pressure on guests if they learn about a wedding very early. Makes it harder to decline later. But I still think they are a good idea, and not arrogant.

The Save the Date is not the invitation! You are definitely not committed after receiving the save the date.

I think save the date announcements are good to help people plan. But Miss Manners always says if you accept one invitation you can’t cancel just because you receive a better offer later. So there is some pressure on guests if they learn about a wedding very early. Makes it harder to decline later. But I still think they are a good idea, and not arrogant.